Will he come back?
I’m a Cancer woman and have been in an intimate relationship with a Pisces man for approx 18 months. It’s LDR but we see each other regularly.
We both wanted to take things slow and didn’t want to assume we would fall in love as we both have been hurt and feel jaded.
So we’ve never said the ‘L’ word. But I’ve felt that our bond has been getting increasingly stronger.
He’s more physucally affectionate now, stroking my cheek, hugging, kissing my head, etc.
Pays attention to everything about me.
Said once, that he sees me on a higher level to others – that was weird to me.
I never get presents though, although he helps with practical things.
We are very in sinc – it felt like I’d met him before when we first met and we just knew stuff about each other. I’ve developed strong feelings – I think he is too but he’s never said anything beyond that he cares.
My pisces is under a lot of stress at the moment though. When I saw him a few days ago I could feel the irritation pulsating from him and intuitively I knew it had nothing to do with me.
So we hung out and watched funny things and he was much more relaxed when he left.
The next day he texted out of the blue saying he’s not himself. He feels like hibernating and needs time to get away ( not on holuday but just space – I knew what he meant) just for him. He told me he was going to disappear for several weeks but that he didn’t want me to feel rejected. He said he’d contact me when he was ‘back’.
I told him I’d miss him but he needed to do what’s best for him and that I completely understood.
At random the next day he sent me a txt just saying hi and nothing else. I replied back. I’ve heard nothing since.
He has disappeared for brief periods before but he’s never given me the heads up before.
Is that a sign his feelings might be deepening? Will he come back? I’m scared he won’t miss me and won’t come back. I’m already missing him but I am leaving it to him to initiate sny contact as I sense he will feel drained.
But then previously I’ve let him take the lead with initiating contact after short disappearances and he gets upset with me for going quiet….when it was him who did it!
But my gut tells me to leave him alone and just be warm if he does reach out…
Any advice woukd be great. I’m trying not to panic.
This is just my opinion of course, but if I was to ever imagine myself being in a situation where I told a loved one that I need to disappear for a few weeks in an emotionally wrecked way that probably means I need you more than ever. The main reason I would personally say that is I don’t want to put you through the burden of it. An example would be a guy trying to break a Guinness World record with something that is extremely physically painful. While he really needs the love and support from others, he knows that him going through agonizing pain is like torment for his loved ones and so he opts to do it alone.
That would kind of make sense to me with just his “hi” message to you. It’s almost like he really wants that “aid and support” but doesn’t want to push for it. In my opinion, the ideal situation if what I said is true I feel would have been to be semi persistent in relating with him on your personal life struggles that may be similar. Because of that, you want to be there for him despite how his situation may be. That’s assuming you realistically can endure it with him of course all the way.
So like with that you are not forcing yourself into his situation. Instead, you are just shining a huge light on the path he can take with you instead of going alone. In my opinion too anyways that’s ideally what a couple should be able to do as it won’t always be fun and glory. You may say “Well then ask me for help” but if the situation is he doesn’t feel you have the strength/energy to go through it with him then he is trying to find other ways to help him.
It would make sense too as to why he would get upset with your example of him disappearing. Again, speaking for myself where if this situation was reversed where you were the one saying you needed to “disappear” I would try everything to relate and to hopefully get you to go through this with me as I am confident I would have the strength and perseverance to help you get through it better and faster.
Another way of thinking about it is like someone who is injured in the hospital bed. He may be angry or whatever and tell you to go away. However, realistically in most cases they want that company and such to help them recover. Like in my mind if that was you I would probably sit there with you all day if possible without you actually telling me because I know you would tell me to go away in consideration for things like my time. So you may say it’s a little crazy, but with my mindset I am hoping the people I give out this kind of love and care to would do the same.
Hopefully that gives you a different perspective on the matter.