Will he come back to me?
Hi – I need some advice on how to handle this situation. I met a Pisces man over a professional social media channel. He is sun sign Pisces and moon sign Leo. We got chatting and realized that we had 99% compatibility. The problem is since I am married, I did not want to take the relationship to the next level. Our feelings for each other are very mutual and deep. I am older to him by 10yrs and have never strayed out of my marital boundaries even though I’ve not been having a happy marriage in the last 12 out of 14yrs that I am married.
He is aware of this and indicated that either we experience the emotions 100% and go with the flow or don’t pursue at all. Being totally new to this, I wasn’t very expressive to him and only echoed back when he expressed his emotions. He is very emotional, romantic, sensitive and honest (these are also key qualities that define me). We chatted for 2 days getting to know each other and he tried pursuing a relationship with me. I stressed that we could only be friends despite what we felt for each other as I could not bear the hurt of seeing him go if at some point of time he had to marry and settle down (he is currently single).
On the 3rd day, he suddenly changed his mind within a span of a 1 hour break that we took (I had to step away to complete a chore) and decided that we stop talking with each other forever and not be in touch. He was kind and affectionate in his words asking me to do good deeds for the underprivileged (all of this via chat). This was too soon for me and I felt I was not given any time to react. I was extremely upset and also told him that I did not feel like letting him go. But he mentioned that it was in the best interest of both of us considering our respective situations. I told him that I respect his decision, wished him well and we parted ways on that note.
Its been 10 days now and these past 10 days have been extremely excruciating for me. He deleted and blocked me from the professional social media site where we met. However I can still see his pic and status on another social chat media site where we had progressed to from the professional site. I thought he did not delete my mobile number and I had some hope as I could see him come online but then when I did a test with another mobile number I realized his pic and status is visible to the public so I am not sure if he has deleted my number or still has it.
These past 10 days have made me realize that I cannot stay without him and I want to express my feelings to him. I am ready to go with the flow and don’t want to lose out on his love. My sun sign is capricorn and moon sign Pisces. I would like to make the attempt to call him and speak but am scared how he will react as I have read in numerous astrological sites that a Pisces man needs to be left alone and given his space when he is upset. I am ok to do that if we have a relationship going. I would like to know what is it that I need to do, to get him back? and what are the chances of him coming back to me if I called and spoke to him. In all these 2.5 days, we’ve never met and spoke just for about 7 min on a voice call. Help Please!
Just to make sure I have this correctly I am going by the assumption that you two actually haven’t known each other very long. Example, less than two months kind of thing. If that is true then I think it would be wise to really take a step back and think of the things you currently have that are great where jumping into this could cause that all to go away. Would it be worth it? Let’s not allow a few bumpy roads in life to cause us to do things irrationally because the grass looks greener as they say.
You also make it clear here to me at least that you have not been happy in your marriage for the last 12 out of 14 years. Does this not hypothetically have a factor as to why you would feel extremely allured by someone else? Because in situation like that I can imagine how instinctive it can be to just go with the other option that is in-front of you where at the moment it seems way better.
You may be wondering what this has to do with your underlying question on how to get this guy back. Well, the blunt way to put it is if you think all these emotions and connections are 100% accurate with no doubts in the world as an example where you are 100% certain the only thing stopping the both of you is that you are currently married would you not agree that the 100% way to get him back is to end the marriage and pursue each other instead? I wouldn’t necessarily suggest that but wouldn’t that technically be the answer you are seeking?
From what you wrote anyhow it sounds like he is expressing clearly that you two simply can’t be just friends as at this point in life he would always have the urge to pursue more with you. Unless I am mistaken too, you both feel that is inappropriate with the situation. I think the good analogy example is like a guy that wants to physically be with a women because of human urges. Therefore, he wants to stay away from the relationship because he feels it is bad to just say be physically close with the woman just to then leave sort of deal. Not saying that is specifically the situation here but it feels like the essence of it is similar where he feels the happiness he will get is not worth the negative it will potentially create in other avenues.
So let’s say you do reconnect with him in a close way. Okay, now what? You still have the factor of the relationship status and all. So what exactly is the ideal outcome here for you? I feel you need to answer all these questions for yourself first as it sounds like he is making it clear that it isn’t an area he wants to submerge into.
I feel it takes a lot of thinking too such as your comment about how in the 10 days you realized you cannot stay without him. It’s like the question people ask others on whether or not they are in love with the person or in love with the idea of love. Like saying as a person are you sure you actually love everything about him from his quirks to what you may consider annoying habits as well? Or are you more in love with the thought of someone making you feel special and all because you aren’t currently feeling that with your current circumstance?
If I was to imagine myself like this guy right now with this situation and you called me to profess say your feelings to me I would imagine this is a dangerous territory not because the person would say get mad at you as if you knocked on a “do not disturb” sign. Instead, it’s more about the guilt you would pass on where it’s like someone is screaming for your love and support only for you to stand there and say “no” because you know it’s wrong. If the person is inexperienced or weak willed too they would just jump into it despite how constantly bad it would make them feel.
About the topic of giving space too, I often said that I feel that is inaccurate. I know for myself when I am in that “give me space” mindset from a person it’s because I don’t feel they truly understand what I am say going through while having the ability to help me get through it. Therefore, to me it’s better to be alone in those situations rather than having like a back seat driver. If you think about it, who in the world doesn’t want say that person to be with them that understood 100% of what they were thinking and how to help them through something in the most authentic and effective way?
In my opinion too, for him to like block you in this case must mean his urge is pretty high where his self-control isn’t very good. So in many ways I feel this comes back to you on whether or not you have clearly defined goals and directions for this as in many ways it is essentially life changing decisions you need to make.