hello, I wish to know more about pisceans men. your posts here have a lot of useful stuffs that helped me. I saw some posts that say in order for them to commit in a relationships they must demonstrate some qualities that you all are looking.
may I know some examples that make you think this is the one? character wise, do they like outgoing and bubbly person or gentle and soft spoken? will they prefer confident and intelligent people who leads them or someone who is good natured and innocent people who constantly look up to them as their girlfriend or future wife? about myself, i am his co worker, with my problem, i notice that when i give him compliments, he dont seem to believe it.
he always say he is not good enough, eg like you are better than another person, he will say he is also not good enough. he will say he is getting fat…forgetful etc. i am so confused by him. i think he knows i like him cause I always like to be around him all the time! i will also remind him of his appointments and help him to pick up stuffs. but suppose you will tell a person good qualities but it is the opposite! why is that so? is he hinting me to back off?
i was told by my friend that he is being selfish and making use of me but i doubt his character is like that because he is caring! when i am feeling down or overwhelm with work he actually free his time to ask me what was wrong and he share funny videos with me to make me laugh. what do you think?
There is no blanket answer in terms of what one looks for in “the one” since everyone has different life experiences. Generally speaking, you need to hit the right notes where either your life experiences matches mine when it comes to values or you show support and compassion in a tangible way that I can relate to.
Like you mention for character wise, for myself whether or not the person is outgoing, bubbly, gentle or soft spoken is not a key factor per se and I’ll give you some generic examples as to why. Now stereotypically you could say a person like me who has a more reserved personality would of course want someone else who is also quiet and caring right to others right? But what if there was a strong confident women who cares just as much where she isn’t afraid of putting herself in the spotlight? Completely different personalities but the key thing is the values.
There are just more odds that people with certain characteristic traits lean more towards a certain type of value. But that doesn’t define who would be best necessarily. I like this saying when it comes to a woman looking for a man as an example where it goes something along the lines of why constantly try and look for Superman when Clark Kent is right in-front of you? Like there, people are often very focused in looking for the physically strong person on a surface level when like there these two guys are the same person.
I can change that to a “Supergirl” since there is a new TV show on that now. Like saying, would I prefer to fall for “Supergirl” or “Kara Danvers” in terms of a character? They are the exact same person if you think about it. But initially you would say the Supergirl is the more of an outgoing and tough character whereas the Kara Denvers is more quirky and bubbly right? For a person like me, I try and look deep into the person where I can tell either character is the same in essence. In that case, either of them I could commit to.
To answer your question about your co-worker, to me he sounds very “needy” for whatever reason. Don’t get me wrong, everyone needs love and support from those around them. With what you wrote, he feels like he is doing it for his own life affirmation. At the same time, his way of coping with it is to put you at his level. Example, like you say when you tell him a good thing he insists in making it negative.
My only warning to this is that with that kind of attitude he may suck everything out of you without giving you enough in return to the point where you are jeopardizing your own well-being. Some would label it as a “toxic relationship.” Because there, it’s all about them getting from you and not the other way around.
I would say too, try to differentiate it from you wanting to care for a person versus you really loving them for who they are. I feel in your case you need to analyze him when he is mad or in a tough situation. That is tricky of course. But I feel this will show his true character and what he is all about as you need to evaluate for consistency.
I even wrote in another thread where if you saw someone treating others to a meal you would automatically assume they are caring. However, it could mean they are simply trying to impress someone which means it was for selfish reason. Consistency is the key to find out.