Personality And Mindset

Treating What I Read From People As Simply Information For Future Use

pisces man mysterious

The complexity of learning how to read people seemed to be a search topic that came up. At the same time it was asked what exactly do I do with all this processed information about a person? I haven’t really divulged into it and so I thought I would try and thought I had an example for it.

Recently I had to meet a lot of new people which meant a lot of meet and greets as a way to quickly get to know people whom I would be working with. Now the way people look at you is often a big indicator as to what is potentially going on in their head. But how exactly do I determine what something means? Example, do they hate you? Do they like you? Do I actually do anything to try and decode their actions?

There was one time during the day where this girl was walking around and making sure everything was looking good before the event would take place. She was also trying to make sure no one needed any last minute adjustments. As she was walking by everyone in an alert fashion I noticed something funny that happened. As she was walking near me she still had that alert mode on which I could see from the side of my eye. I assumed if she needed something from me as an example she would stop or whatever. So I just kept looking forward waiting for the event to start.

Then right when she came in-front of me she kind of had this quick reflex moment where her head quickly turned in like a downward sweep motion to the side as her hand then lifted up to like caress her hair. So to me whenever these kinds of actions occur I tend to think “Okay, that has to mean something as it seemed a little too coincidental.” But there is technically no way for me to know sure what it means so it just gets stored in a “profile for this person” kind of category.

Now on a different day something similar happened with a different type of scenario. There was a female who I was talking to before on a previous day and so we at least know each other a little. As I arrived at a location we were walking past each other where she was going out and I was going in. Like for most people we said hi to each other. In this case she had no problem looking eye to eye at distant while smiling. But as soon as it got close enough to say hello her head went to that side down sweep motion like the other lady. It actually seemed like she tried to look back up but it was like a reflex of some sort where her mind was subconsciously telling her to keep it down. There was no hair touching in this instance though so technically it’s not the exact same as the other girl. Again though, I can’t really say for sure what that means but again I know it has to mean something as it is too coincidental.

So what I would do after is I would reflect upon myself on when I would in a sense perform each action regardless of the circumstance. Like for me to in a sense look away from a person would usually imply that for whatever reason I don’t want them to know I am looking. Example, this could be due to fear where the person is aggressive and so making direct eye contact would imply like I am being confrontational. Or in some cultures it’s just “rude” to “stare.”

I would then take that factor and apply it in those two situations. In the overall picture that would make absolutely no sense to me. Why would they be in a sense scared of me in that way? I didn’t do anything to show an aggressive side as an example. It would especially make no sense in the first scenario where I was looking straight ahead too.

Now I would factor in the second lady where it seemed like she was trying to fight a natural reflex of sort. If that was accurate in the technical sense then to me that would indicate she had a fear but at the same time knew there shouldn’t be anything to be afraid of. So with all these kinds of thoughts my only conclusion is that these types of actions translates to the person has a sense of fear. For what reason is the mystery of course.

Based on media exposure and personal observations odds are this is a sign of attraction where for whatever reason the person is becoming shy to you as a result. It then becomes like a scenario where the person doesn’t want to explicitly show this for whatever reason. I suppose the most common type of scenarios is the person is afraid of rejection or feels that the attraction is inappropriate in some way.

Most people would probably say to me “Well that means she likes you fool. So go talk to her” as an example. A key point though is that regardless of how right or wrong I may be my mindset is to usually treat information like this which I analyze as just that. Information. At the same time, in regular circumstances I don’t normally act on cues like these as I feel many times that there has to be some kind of established bond for me to do so. For example, if the girl was like my friend or something then there is a level of understanding that we are there to re-energize each other. So if she is feeling “shy” then it is like my “responsibility” to try and help that if need be.

But like for the two above why would I want to place myself in like say a constant state of paranoia on what the other may be thinking? In my mind anyways it’s spending unnecessary energy. Because generally speaking you may meet new people every day where you have no idea what role they will be playing in your life. So for me I always feel I am just storing information for when the time comes I already have like a library of sorts to cross reference from.

Like with the example above maybe I found out the girl liked me. With that information I can now determine for how long which can show persistence. Maybe she actually wanted to ask me for personal help but was too afraid I would reject her. So that can tell me how she acts when she is insecure. Until that time comes naturally I would rather just treat everyone in a neutral way and simply go through life in a non-judgmental fashion. That’s also why too for a person like me if I don’t already have like some kind of established “relationship” with you where that is your goal then it is better to be a little more direct as opposed to relying on me to act on cues and such. Until then all information is just there to hang around.

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4 Comments

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  • Maybe your body language and eye contact seem more inviting than most and they find that intimidating. That would explain why I personally avoid eye contact sometimes. It’s not that I don’t want someone to be inviting but I feel pressured in a way to match their same intensity and sometimes I don’t have it in me to do that at that moment. Like perhaps they find your confidence a bit daunting. Like have you ever met someone you admired so much it was hard to look them in the eye? It doesn’t always mean the person has like a lower self-esteem or an insecurity but they simply might find you are at a higher social level that they’re not used to encountering.

    I wonder, have you ever had like an unspoken connection with someone? Like some sort of bond with someone before really speaking to them, usually consisting of glances and body language, that would allow you to want to make the “first move”, so to speak, and go “talk to the girl”. Like you doubt your assumptions on strangers a lot, which I agree one should do, but what does a stranger have to do for you to be certain on what they’re feeling/thinking, without them having to directly tell you? What single actions could tell you things from that person with certainty?

  • Hi Alan.
    Thanks for writing this that made perfect sense to me.
    I do the same thing.

    This is just a completely intellectual question – but do you ever test the authenticity of someone?

    Eg. You’ve been filling info away and circumstances arise where a friendship may develop etc. And in amongst all the processing (subconsciously or whatever), do you test out whether your own initial conclusions were true?

    Eg. (Hypothetically).. Someone may be telling you they like you etc. Could you, say for example, not reply to a text to see whether they will initiate contact which gives you evidence that their actions are alligned with their words?

    I’m sorry if that’s a poor example I just pulled that out of air.

    I’m appreciative that you post everything you do – I actually confess I think I’ve read 90% of everything on your site in an effort to learn more about your personality type. Lol cos whether you believe in astroligy or not (I’m not even sure I do), you are so similar to the man in my life who shares your star sign it’s eerie!

  • Alan, I guess i do the same, i.e I become confused when im passing by someone who attracts me. But then usually i fight back my feelings for them and become normal again specialy when it makes no sense to me as why im attracted to them in the first place. Once im past this process of correcting my feelings for the said person, i then pass by him or them with confidence without stealing my gaze away . 🙂

  • Oh, some interesting questions. Let’s see if I can think of any experiences to form a post about it. Although the closest post I made that kind of dives into it all is the one about “zones.” I’ll try to think of more specific stuff though.

    That is an interesting line too Flower about the correcting your feelings part. Sounds kind of difficult especially if it is a natural thing you are fighting.