Reader Questions

Signals Pisces Men Give Women To Let Them Know They Like Them

pisces man happy

Catherine Asks:

I’m a Cancer woman who’s recently been dating a Pisces man. We connected on a spiritual level as well as we have a lot in common. He’s so sweet and thoughtful and our physical and sexual connection is overwhelmingly amazing. He asked me to stay the night to cuddle almost immediately after we met and continued to want me to stay. However for the first couple of days we spent together he talked a lot about his ex’s and women he’d slept with.

Although he has touched on that subject in a while, being a Cancer, I don’t know if I’m just someone convenient for him. It seems Pisces men are charming and I don’t want to be fooled. I’ve never dated a Pisces before so I’m not used to his kindness but he’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met and I don’t want to ruin this by my characteristics of jealousy so I will say things like you should go out tonight with your buddies because I’m afraid to smother him. He doesn’t beg me to stay but he’s gotten a little short with me or dismissive when I give him space.

I feel like I can’t win bc he doesn’t communicate his feelings yet I can be aloof too as a protection. I guess what I’m asking is, is this his way of saying he wants to be with me by having me stay over or would he tell me? He seems like my perfect man and my natural defense if I feel rejected is to retreat so how do I find out if I’m just another women in this life or if he really does feel I’m special. I see a lot of him in me but I verbally and non verbally communicate well but shut down if I don’t feel he’s heard me.
Ugh… but he’s worth my doing whatever is needed as long as he’s not playing me. Thanks

Catherine,

Your question kind of has two parts to it I feel. One we are trying to determine if this person is being authentic with you and two what are the ways a guy can show you that that he likes you.

Now generally speaking I am going to try and break this down to you based on the people I have seen combined with a person like myself who is looking for “the one” where I have more of a reserved personality. The first big factor to think about when it comes to a person like me is that the barrier to entry when it comes to me wearing my heart on my sleeve is extremely high compared to most other men. So theoretically it should take you a very long time to navigate the maze you are in. Now if for some reason you just zoomed past it I think it is important to understand and know why.

Example, what button did you press that enabled you to get through that barrier so easily? Emotionally speaking this could range from things like you had a similar life experience as he did to a tee or that you did something that resonated with him a lot. If you don’t know the answer to this then that is something you should try and find out. If you are telling me there was no such thing as he just came onto you really fast then that is when I would be super skeptical as that would seem more like he wants something.

I would imagine that when a person talks about their ex’s a lot and the amount of people they slept with so quickly that is a test of sorts of tolerance and acceptance to know whether to proceed or not. If this is a non-factor for you with what he told you then I would imagine for him that is a sign from you that you are okay with things like being very physically intimate even if it doesn’t work out in the end.

Now taking away the factor that there may be anything dubious here for a person with my personality type one of the worst thing you can do I feel is to push the person away when they want to be with you. If that happened to me as an example I wouldn’t fight you about it either. However, you have now essentially created “doubt” in my mind if you are “the one” where I now need to see even more consistent actions in a good way to conclude that was just an isolated incident of sort. Essentially, I wouldn’t really express that to you either with words where it’s more if it happens too many times then I will be gone only for most to wonder what the heck happened.

To give you an example of why it can hurt so much a visual example that pops in my head is a scenario I saw in a restaurant. I was at a table that was fairly large and in the middle happened to be one of those glass turning mechanisms that allow people to easily move various dishes in-front of them to pick out food from the dishes. Now normally at times out of politeness people turn it for others too. In this case there was a child at the table who was like three years old and he picked up on this gesture.

So what happened was he would place his hand on the table and turn it to the first person with a smile. However, the person said no thank you. He then turned the food to another person hoping they would take it. Again, they said no thank you. He tried it for the third time and again the person said no thank you. You can then immediately see that the child’s head went downward in sadness as he wanted to show love and care this way only to be rejected by everyone. Everyone picked up on that pretty fast though and immediately started to take items from the dishes he turned and said thank you which made him happy.

So imagine this situation if people couldn’t pick up on that cue. More than likely that child isn’t going to say anything either but rather feel rejected by the people who he feels should care for him. In essence this is the exact same type of emotion I say when you reject a person like this in wanting to spend time with you. The magnitude of disappointment and hurt is more extreme depending on how securely tight the person normally is before being very open to you.

Again, taking away the factor that there may be anything dubious here for a person like me to want to stay over as you say is pretty huge in my mind. Although, just speaking for myself I probably wouldn’t ever say something like “Hey, come over and let’s cuddle” as for me that is way too direct and doesn’t fit my personal style of allowing things to happen naturally. The stereotypical example would be more there was a purpose for coming over such as we both wanted to watch a movie together and due to things like comfort level together we just naturally started to say cuddle. A person like me would most likely not say “I like you” but instead show it through action.

So the signal that a guy like me “likes you” is as simple as I want to spend time with you while trying to find ways to make time to be with you. If we are talking about “love” here then that is a different can of worms in many ways. Example, that is all about having things such as a level of understanding of you as a person with those constant moments to treat you like the most special person in the world. If that is what you are trying to find out then you just need to analyze consistency without “playing games” is what people would say.

Example, don’t test a person like me to see if I love you by purposely saying you are busy when you are not to see how I bad I want to spend time with you. It will backfire. Instead, just be open to the energy the person is giving you and see how consistent it is. What exactly do you feel are the parts where you say he doesn’t hear you as an example? That is more about you and your expectations on what to expect out of a man per se and it is your own prerogative of course.

But the bottom line is consistency. How is he with you when he is happy, mad, frustrated and so forth? In my opinion there is no shortcut to this. But ultimately the essence of the actions should be the same where in many ways you can say being with you is like a lifestyle that is a part of his life which he embraces as opposed to treating it like an activity of sorts. That’s what you need to identity if that is the case or not I feel.

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  • Alan, since we spoke last and I told you the Pisces I’d been seeing was still on the dating sit we met on, I broke it off with him. As I stated I’m a Cancer and I stewed quietly, until I decided he must have been using me and as difficult as it was because we were drawn quickly to each other, I told myself this hurts too much so I broke it off after talking to you around 12:30 that night. He texted me back about 10 minutes later and said “ouch, I don’t understand but if that’s what you want” and that was it.
    The following day, I spoke to my friends and they reminded me how quickly I assume the worse and most people continue to meet people on online dating sites if they’ve just meet someone a few weeks before. They also said he wasn’t hiding it obviously and maybe I should try to talk to him.
    I texted him the next day and told him I enjoyed being with him and he was an amazing person but sometimes I put up walls and run to protect myself. He said “Cat (he calls me that) I’m not seeing anyone or sleeping with anyone, I promise you”. We talked for about a half hour and then he invited me out to see our favorite band. When he picked me up I noticed he was a little distant and somewhat nervous. He reached to hold my hand and I gave it to him and smiled, his whole body relaxed. He held me the whole time the band played, making sure I was happy and getting me anything I needed, his attentitive way. We stayed up until 3 am touching on more private and vulnerable issues we’d experienced and it was wonderful.
    I don’t what the future holds but I’m going to work on myself to open up to him and not assume anything so quickly. I can’t be what anyone wants if I’m not willing to take a chance and just relax. But I’m just happy I got him back in my life at this time because I think we have a deep emotional and physical connection and I’ll just see where this goes but he is a good guy and I see has been hurt a lot, as have I.
    Thanks Allen and I’ll keep you posted.

  • Hi Catherine,

    Nice to hear an update. I just moved your comment to this post to better organize everything so that you have your dedicated post for your scenario. 😀

    Everyone is different of course so that is something you need to look more into. I personally feel anyways that you should always have a healthy dose of the emotions that you feel combined with the facts. That way at least you are mentality prepared for the circumstances that may arise. Like speaking for myself if I was to use a dating site and I found someone I clicked with I would have turned that profile off in an instant. The only other reason I would imagine that I would keep it up is to see more what’s out there as I have “doubts” I guess you can say. That can be a good or bad thing depending on what you two mutually agreed upon in a sense. Example, if he said “you are the one” and he is still on there then something doesn’t add up.

    I can imagine myself being more skeptical than you in many ways. Like with how your friends say that he obviously wasn’t hiding anything there can be a possibility that it’s one of those situations where even though a person knows they shouldn’t be doing it they give the reasoning of “Well you never said anything” routine. I am not trying to discourage you about his intents of course as that is why I assume people see each other for awhile and such to truly see the real person.

    But like there I would think it’s best to be semi clear about what you expect and why. Example, since the dating site is what caused the commotion and he told you there isn’t anything going on did you get clear answers for yourself on why he kept it up? That should help you both understand each other better I would say. Then afterwards you can start seeing if his actions are consistent with the other things that he does in a natural way.

    Don’t assume the worst in people but rather expect the best from each other. If there is an unbalance in that then that is when you need to decide if it is right I would say. In that case you don’t need to constantly assume but rather allow the water to run and see where it flows to.

  • Thank you Allen. It seems the beginning of my relationship with my Pisces, was a rocky learning curve for both of us. After I broke it off it deviated me because he didn’t know why and seemed very hurt. After talking with friends and a Pisces that’s a friend, they reminded me that I always run when I really like a guy to protect myself from being hurt. They told me I was wrong in not talking to him and finding out what was really going on.
    Being a Cancer, I’ve never shared my true feelings but I felt something special with my Pisces, a connection almost unexplainable so I sent him a long email, opening up about my feelings for him, my past and fears and apologizing as I new losing him was my fault.
    He texted me about a hour or two later, simply saying “coming over later?”. That evening we both opened up and found we were both feeling exactly the same about the other and we’re right back to seeing each other, laughing, sharing stories about our lives and past, going and listening to bands, extra and he’s actually holding me tighter and closer when we’re intimate. I know that my opening up to him and being 100% honest was what he needed and I needed too. I feel like we’re closer now and I can relax because I know now he feels the same about me.
    He and I are so much a like so as long as we’re open and honest we can understand each other and feel safe in letting our walls down! It’s early in the relationship but I know the way we touch each other and are so happy when we are together that there’s something special and I’m not going to let myself screw this one up!
    So to anyone who’s trying to get back with their Pisces…send them a letter or email and lay your heart on the table because they’re the sign that will understand and listen and even appreciate it. I don’t know if it’d be the same if he moved on bc of lack of interest but at least he’ll appreciate knowing you cared about him. I’m learning more about him everyday and I’m working on my insecurities to become a better person so I can be there for him! It’s a lot of work if you’re a cancer/Pisces match but I think the end will be a utopian relationship if you’re patient, caring and open.
    I feel very lucky he held his arms open for me to come back! He’s like no one else…he’s an amazing human being!

  • Sounds like things are going along nicely. 😀 I am actually wondering why you posted this comment initially in a different thread again as I just moved it. Made me wonder if you thought you could only reply in that thread or if you specifically wanted it there. Let me know if you did intended it to be there and I can move it back.

    Just opening up is the best way to approach it for a person like me but at the same time as you mentioned it’s probably the most difficult due to people’s life experiences in opening up to people in general. That is for everyone to decide on their own of course as everyone is in different stages of their life.