Should I ask him out?
Hi Alan, First, let me Thank you for taking the time to do this site and answer these questions, it’s been very informative insight. My question is pretty simple…should I ask him out or will he think i’m too forward? After reading much of this site, it’s a hard call to make. I understand that he won’t always pursue in a traditional sense something he may want, but I also understand that he may just be being nice and is never planning on asking. Needless to say, this is a very new situation, and we’ve met once and have texted since then.
Nothing majorly deep, but some details about each other. I made the 1st move after our meeting of getting his number and reaching out to him, so normally I would feel like it’s his place to make the next “move”, but again, it seems that may not be the way w/ the Pisces man. Any direction here would be great. I don’t mind waiting either, I’d love to be able to get to know this Man better so even I can decide if we’re a good fit, and I don’t feel that can be done via text. I don’t want to scare him off either.
Thank you again!
I feel the key for you is to not “ask him out” but rather “invite him along” to something where you know you both would enjoy. To clarify, when people say “ask him out” I am automatically assuming you mean a “date” in the sense of going to “grab coffee” and then having two people “interview” each other to see if they match. Speaking for a person with my personality type that is a ton of awkward pressure as I prefer things to happen organically. Assuming I am not busy a person like me would be inclined to say yes anyways which defeats the whole notion that if the guy says yes there then that means they like you in that way. Because there it’s a balance act of wanting to make you happy and not wanting to make you feel like you are being rejected.
With the way I think there really isn’t such a thing as being too forward in the sense of asking to hang out with you or whatever as long as there is a direct reason for it. The issue I feel with a traditional date scenario is that because a person like me is a deep thinker and if I know this is a “date” if you asked me out that way then odds are the person you are talking to isn’t really who they say they are. Example, the girl you bring forward at the date is most likely not the girl you bring forward when you are at home where you don’t feel the need to say impress anyone. So that goes back into the circle of the topic of wanting to see people in a natural way while allowing things to happen organically.
As a funny example of the “invite him along” I am pretty sure you have probably heard all that news about Pokémon Go app right? Let’s assume he is a fan of it and so are you. Or, you just happen to genuinely be interested in trying it out. Like in that case, if you were going to go out and try it anyways and you knew he was into it then like there just ask if he was too. He would probably be super enthusiastic to tag along with you. Then from there you can use that opportunity to “get to know each other” in a natural way as opposed to interview style. Now if you say he flat out rejected something like that with all those factors then that is when you should reconsider I feel.
So hopefully you at least have a general idea of the stuff you both enjoy as the basis to work with. Remember to gauge things like “interest level” based on things like the speed of response too as opposed to things like if he makes the first move.