Saying You’re Cool And Likes Having You Around With Vague Answers
I’m a Taurus female that has recently connected with my Pisces guy friend since last year. We have casually known each other since I was 15 ( I’m 28 years old now). But for the past 3 months is when we really started to get to know each other on another level. He would invite me over to his house and we would have a few drinks together and just talk. My conversations with him seems to flow so natural effortlessly. I feel so comfortable with him that I could open up and tell him any and everything. Which is different for me because after my long term relationship with ex (who also happened to be a pisces) I have been emotionally guarded. We’ve been chilling out a couple of times a month and he would ask me questions about what do I look for in a guy, how’s work etc. which makes me feel like he has some kind of interest in me and possibly thinking about perusing a relationship.
Every now and then, out of the blue he would send me a text to say hi or something and I would eagerly text him back and ask how his day is going and he won’t text back until the next day. This goes on a lot with him. I would reach out to him and text him but he won’t respond until either later on in the day or maybe two to three days…. Or sometimes he won’t respond at all. And this really frustrates me! I know that pisces men like to have their space but a simple text back to at least acknowledge my text with any response would be better than just nothing at all.
I try not to make a big fuss to him about it because we are not even dating and I don’t want my Taurean temper to scare my Pisces away from me. It’s amazing how we’re not even dating and he has that kind of control over my emotions. Then he would invite me over for drinks and watch a redbox movie and all my upset feelings would drift away just as fast as they came. Last weekend he invited me over for a movie he gave me a massage and then kissed my neck…… And if anyone knows anything about kissing a taurus on their neck….. You know what happened next.
We had sex for the first time and it was a very romantic and sensual experience. He texted me the next day just to check up on me and it made me feel like he really cared about me after our special night. Well, later on the next day I texted him and opened up to him and told him that I really liked him and wanted to know where we stand and how he opened up a side of me that I kept closed for years. All he said was that I’m cool and that he likes having me around and that it’s always been cool between us. And I’m thinking what does that mean?
I just laid my feelings out there and told you that I wanted to be with you and all you have to say is that I’m just cool and he likes having me around. So then, me being the determined and stubborn bull, I press the issue and ask him to be specific. He doesn’t respond. Then 2 days later he texts be back and says that he likes me but he doesn’t want me to think that we’re getting married all of a sudden and that he’s taking everything one day at a time. I never mentioned anything about walking down the isle with him.
I just didn’t want to beat around the bush. I wanted to know if he wanted to start a relationship and I be his girlfriend? Or did he only see me as a friend who he just happened to have sex with? I just needed to know the truth so I won’t be heartbroken over false expectations of ever having an official dating relationship with him. I don’t like the feeling of being strung along. the last time that I heard from him was 2 days ago.
He invited me over and I was taking a 3hr night class close by his house and I told him I would text him after I get out of class. I texted him. No answer. Then he texts back an hour later and says that he was sleeping when I texted. And I Just texted him back and said that it was too late and I was already at home in my pjs about to pour a drink because I had a long day and his last response was that he just needed to sleep and I said that I understand.
How do I know what this guy is really thinking? Every time I ask him a straightforward question he gives me a very vague answer. I don’t want to keep texting him constantly because I don want to scare him off but he just has this magnetic pull on me that draws me to him. He’s like an addiction to me. I need to see him, talk to him and be with him and when I don’t hear from I him or he gets distant, like an addict I get withdrawals and it drives me crazy when I don’t have some kind of contact with him. Can you please shed some light on this situation? Should I give him his space or be aggressive and reach out to him? This guy has really got me confused and I just need help!
Generally speaking, it feels like he wants the intimacy without the vulnerability. It’s different than playing hard to get for example. I personally think in his mindset you are essentially satisfying a huge emotional need for him that he craves but doesn’t want to admit to it. This would make sense to me on why he would initiative the text to you but not reply back right away.
With that said, my interpretation of him saying that he thinks you are cool and likes having you around is that he views your questions as a sign that in terms of a relationship mindset you are at a higher level than he is at the moment. At the same time, he is re-affirming that regardless of whatever past you have it doesn’t affect his view of you as a person.
Even I would say to a certain extent that if the scenario above just happened to me and the person opened up all these details about herself that she hasn’t to anyone else I would take it as a sign of “marry me” so to speak. The mindset is pretty straight forward where if I would only do that for the person I would want to tie the knot with, so to speak, then it is natural to assume the reverse is true. As you can tell, he is not in that state of mind for whatever reason.
Being aggressively blunt will indeed scare him off for this scenario I think. In my opinion, the best way to find out what he truly thinks about you based on the circumstance is to passively learn about his future goals and outlook in life. With that, you then need to listen carefully to see if he in any way wants or is trying to incorporate you into that. This can be something as simple as him normally doing morning walks all alone for fitness. If he is bringing/inviting you into his daily lifestyle in this way then that is a sign that he sees a potential future with you. It’s a form of slowly evaluating you as a person.
With that said too, keep in mind there is a difference between getting invited to watch a movie versus getting invited to live the life of another person. You can easily break down an indirect person’s thoughts based on the latter where action speaks louder than words. Those are the signs you should be looking for I feel for affirmation as opposed to him saying something.
Afterwards, it is simply personal preference on your part if you feel he isn’t committing to you fast enough or if you feel he isn’t giving you the attention you feel you deserve to justify your affection. Cause for him, it’s a pros and cons phase he is going through in deciding to go further with you or not. You have the power to determine if this is acceptable or not by pursuing him or looking elsewhere.