Pisces Man And Gemini Woman
I am a gemini woman and he is a pisces man. Immediately, we hit it off as we found out we went to the same college and knew a lot of the same people, even shared some other common friends outside of that college circle as well. We clicked on some many different levels. He especially has a gift for gab, able to speak to me about anything and keep up with my racing mind. He soon asked me what did I ultimately want out in dating, I said I want a relationship at the end of the day but I am not rushing into anything. He starts to tell me that he does not want a relationship and how he has a lot of issues with being with someone. So natually, I started to ask questions about his issues. He stated he was immature, unwilling and selfish. He also stated he was scared of being vulnerable and does not want anyone to get that close to him because he had been hurt before. He stated he was not ready..
Needless to say, I told him ok and I started to fall back. Upon doing so, he continued to pursue me. I stated to him pursue at your own risk because my feelings would not change about my end goal but I too felt the chemistry between him and I and I didnt want to let it go. He started saying and doing things that to showed he was willing to go with the flow and allow himself to feel for me such as telling me to give him a kiss every night before bed, I met his parents, he told he could see us being together and how he felt i was deserving of him giving things a try. He also was wlling to accept my child and often times would say sweet stuff like how are my ladies today.
He just seemed very sweet and sincere on all levels to me. So this one time we got up, I had not seen him in a while and I was very affectionate, plus I had a few drinks — he began to complain. Telling me that I reminded him of some ex of his, he does not do PDA and that he was concerned that my affection was only shown because I was tipsy. Afterwards, I mentioned my concerns with these comments because I felt as if he was now trying to pull back after leading me on and that my assumption based on his actions were not true. If know gemini’s, you know it takes a very special kind of person for us to start thinking relationship and togetherness so the fact he did this to me, i was now starting to feel regretful. He then started the drama.. i do not think we should do this. you make me vulnerable, i am scared of you and you does not like how i made his wall come down effortlessly. He also cried in this convo.
This was the beginning of him cutting me off. He told me we should just end this because we want two different things, which was established but he kept pursing me. So I tried to speak to him about us going with the flow and taking things slow and letting whats meant to be happen. He was hestitant but eventually said ok but it was still two weeks of up and down emotions on his end. It was exhausting and often times frustating that I then had to open and show my emotions so he knew i was genuine and real. I cried out of frustation with him to just make a decision and i even continued to pray with him about this current job situation and him as a person. I told him that despite his decision, I will continue to pray for him every day, in which i have even til this day. Things I rarely do for any guy.
So we see each other again after all the confusion, we have another amazing weekend together.. no complaints but he was slightly distant. I let it go because i knew we had just had so much bickering weeks prior. however, the week after he would not return my calls like he said, he did not want to give me a kiss at night told me no he was not kissing me, did not text me all day long as he was doing before.. I complete shift in behavior. Unfortunately, being a gemini I call it like it is… I asked him nicely whats going on and he was playing the nothing is going on nothing is wrong but I did tell you us going with the flow was not going to work because we have too much of a strong bond.
So he is not telling me that I am making it like he does not care. I said to him I never said you did not care, I just want the same level of attention and affectionate you started with and if its gonna change I just want to know why. we talked and had a good convo. he made one statement that sounded like he was ending things, so i asked are we ending things.. he said NO. He said i am not ending things with you. The next day no word from him.. i asked him was he mad at me.. he said yes.. and that was the last thing i heard from him. that was three weeks ago.
In the meantime, he has been talking to my close friend…telling her that he is immature and handled the situation poorly, he will apologized to me one day but its best we move on. He said he is too stubborn to apologize to me and admit he was wrong. He also stated i am a liar because i only wanted to go with the flow to get him comfortable with the idea of him and I. Like what girl feels some kind of way about a guy and does not think of them together but i also told him what i wanted so he entered at his own risk. However, i was not never trying to trick him. I simply valued our connection and bond and felt like it was meant to be, and i did not want to loose him because he told me early on he would not want to be my friend because of our bond.. which i found to be odd. i am highly upset that he is telling my friend but not telling me, which makes me think he is doing this on purpose.
I really liked and cared for my pisces guy and I really do want him to come back around. I do wonder if he felt pressured or what. I just was disappointed and did not expect him to disrespect me by not ending things with me properly. I thought he cared enough to approach me like an adult. I still pray for him and i cannot seem to shake the feelings i grew for him.. Do you think he wil come back around? Is there hope? How should I handle the situation?
My personal perspective based on what you wrote is that it feels like his responses are more of a reaction based on what you say and do as opposed to how he truly feels. Example, him saying he doesn’t want a relationship is more of a way to semi maintain a sense of control. Almost like a person really wanting to sell an old piece of gear but tells people he doesn’t want to sell to make it seem like he has control of the situation. Therefore, I don’t think it is so much about stubbornness as opposed to feeling the need to be higher.
To me, that kind of fits in with his actions based on what you wrote. There aren’t many people who can just admit to something like that until one feels the benefits of being authentic outweigh the negatives of being upfront. You can imagine how having these closets full of “inauthenticity” can just blow up after a while where one will want to blame you for many things to try and balance things out to make themselves feel better.
This scenario makes me think of like a kid having a temper tantrum. Of course you would expect him to approach you like an adult, but he can’t really do that if he is emotionally immature like a child. With that said, I am inclined to say he is kind of playing everyone emotionally. That doesn’t necessarily mean in a malicious way but rather it’s just what he is used to.
Example, if someone always lied and stole from others to get ahead then that is what they will continue to do. Or like in this case, making the other person feel bad to enable them to run away once they get what they want and then using that incident to tell a narrative to others to continue getting the attention they seek. I wouldn’t say it was pressure but rather the guilty trip that was adding up.
I don’t think there is much you can do personally as opposed to the people in his environment. It’s like it requires virtually everyone to say “that is not acceptable” until he gets it. I personally think you just need to be firm and clear too where if he isn’t treating you a certain way then he is gone. People have been probably saying that to him but they keep going back to a certain extent. Just like a child, sometimes they just need to cry themselves out alone when they don’t get their way as painful as that is for the parent to endure. I personally feel that is kind of like what you need to do here.
If he insists in jumping to a new person all the time and repeating the cycle then my personal opinion is to simply share your story truthfully to others like an open book that would want to hear. That would kind of force him to fess up, so to speak. But that really comes down to how comfortable you would be with that as you mentioned you two have a similar social circle. Afterwards, the ball is in his court which you shouldn’t even focus on I think.