My pisces guy seems like a toxic person but I am trying to be patient
Hi Pisces View,
I have been reading through the posts here and I got so hooked that I decided to ask a question myself. So basically the scenario is like this. I have been going out with my Pisces man for more than 2 months now. We are official, I am his girlfriend and he is my boyfriend. He tends to be very sweet when we are together and he messages all the time and constantly tells me how much he loves me and misses me and that he is so lucky to have me in his life because I am everything he has been looking for.
The thing is I have trust issues. So in the beginning of our relationship, he found me in a social media app by the way which was very disturbing at first but I didn’t want to judge so I let it be, he kept saying he loves me just after 1 day of dating. Then he would go to my place every day and we would talk and hangout and have dinner and he kept kissing me and telling me he loves me. I told him stop saying you love me because I know it’s not true. Then later on I myself told him I loved him because at that time I did mean it. He also said that he means it already.
Everything was going good until I noticed that he never posts any photos with me in it. Never likes to be tagged in photos. Never comments on my instagram account only in my facebook account. Every time a person comments on his instagram post it seems he would be so proud. When we go out he would ask me to take his photo and then he asks to have our photo together taken. It is like he is constantly seeking for approval or attention in his social media account, instagram to be exact. Then he kept following random women on social media which I despise because I felt that he was flirting and I was right. He wasn’t exactly flirting but I asked to see his phone and he was chatting with women. So I told him you can choose to follow these women and message them and break things off with me that’s it. He apologized and promised to not do it again. Then he did it again following women and adding women in snapchat and chatting. So I told him I’m done. That was the last time. Then he didn’t do it again or at least not anymore. He told me I am free to check his phone whenever I want.
But whenever I attempt to hold his phone he freaks out. So I can never fully trust him because of this. I do love him but I am starting to think that he is such an immature person and selfish person but he has a potential to be a good boyfriend. He does have good qualities. When we are together, beside each other, we are so good. I feel loved and cared for and him as well. But the moment we are apart that’s when the problem happens.
I have been through so much in my past relationships that I told him from the beginning I am tired of players and playboys and I want something real. If that’s not what he wants. If he just wants games then just walk away. Don’t waste my time. But he stuck it out.
I really don’t want to give up. But everything inside me, my inner voice, is screaming get out of the relationship. End it. He is immature, manipulative, toxic, selfish and a child. He keeps making promises he can’t keep. He is fair weathered. Just end it. But I hate to keep ending things so I am still trying.
Sorry this is long. But I am really confused. Thanks in advance for the advise
To me with what you wrote it sounds pretty straight forward in the sense where you kind of proved that he isn’t being honest with you many times. It almost feel like in some ways you are clinging on to it because you don’t want to make it feel like you chose another dud per se and so you are sticking with it in hopes he will change. That comes down to personal preference of course.
Just as a hypothetical example with what you wrote it almost feels like the situation is being in a relationship with you is a way to falsely validate his social presence. Example, if a guy keeps bragging or showing off that he has it all yet he can’t even get a girl to say go out with him then that crushes that image. So that would make sense with like yourself on why he got with you so quickly yet continues to in a sense flirt heavily with others while wanting their validation.
I am inclined to say if you are tired of players and playboys as you say then you need to stop being patient with those same types of people as well and understand why you keep attracting a person like that. I always say if it happens too fast and you are going by the notion that the person is supposed to be like me that wants to find “the one” then something is usually wrong.