Pisces and Friends with Benefits

Aubrey Asks:

Hello,

I have been going crazy trying to read this Pisces guy that I’m really into. Unfortunately no one really knows him well enough to give me good advice. I was hoping if anyone could help it would be another Pisces male. I am an Aries with my venus sign in Pisces, and I know that’s not always the best match, but I feel a connection to him that I don’t feel with other men.

I met this Pisces guy about a year ago. We started off as really good friends, though I’ve been attracted to him since day one. We gradually got closer and closer and about a month and a half ago he started initiating conversation every single day. I mean there didn’t go a day without us either hanging out at a bar or texting. Even to this day he initiates conversation every day. We started off joking around and talking like friends do, but after awhile, me being a major in psychology, he started confiding in me and telling me things so personal they nearly broke my heart. I tried to help him as best as I could, and I felt like things were going in a really good direction. I’m not the type of girl who likes to rush things, so waiting for his move was totally fine with me.

A couple weeks ago, a co-worker of mine got Pisces alone and took it upon himself to ask him questions. He asked if he and I were talking and Pisces stayed rather coy about the whole thing. Then my co-worker finally asked if he ever thought about taking me out and he said, “I think about it all the time.” This was a shock because I really felt like now would be a good time to really use my charm, even though I had it on the whole time. The next day Pisces and I went out and he took me to lunch. We didn’t get far romantically, only a few awkward moments in the car.

Two days after talking like we normally do he threw it on me, “Let’s just have sex.” He claimed that we were already friends so it would be perfectly comfortable. Being rather experienced with these things I told him that I had my years of fun and I didn’t want to rush, but I also wanted him to know that having sex would mean taking our friendship to the next level. He replied that he loved me as a friend and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. He said that he doesn’t just want sex, but being 21 he’s not mature enough for a relationship. He’s worried that if we go out, we’d break up, and resent one another.

Now I’m not expecting him to want anything anytime soon because clearly he is not ready for a relationship, but does this guy like me at all? I mean I don’t know why he’s very elusive about this whole thing. I really thought he felt the connection that I was feeling until he said all of this. I don’t know if Pisces are really capable of friends with benefits or not. I know he’s a man and they’re all capable of sex without feelings, but my concern is loosing him when I haven’t done anything to chase him away. I’m not the one being assertive in this situation, and on top of that I’m not even the one initiating texts as much as he does because I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable.

I honestly just need to know if having sex with him would ruin any chances of us being together in the future, or if at this point it’s not going to harm anything because he doesn’t like me.

I am in need of a 3rd party’s opinion.

Thank you.

Aubrey,

This was a little puzzling to digest as at first it sounds like you are personally in a phase where you want a relationship as opposed to just having fun with people, so to speak. So in that sense, I am a little confused as to why you would be afraid of losing him if he is making it abundantly clear that he isn’t mature enough for a relationship and just wants sex. I would imagine like there it would be a no exception scenario for you personally.

This is just my personal opinion, but in many ways it sounds like he made it a strategic mission to get you to feel for him. Just as an example of another perspective, if he knew that the person was your co-worker whom you speak to then he knows that whatever he says there can be relayed to you. I am inclined to view this with a more skeptical view as it sounds like he is coming across pretty aggressively in terms of confessing life dramas and then attaching to you.

Like there, I would ask in my head “What do you want from me?” when someone uses that approach. In this scenario, fact check I say. I’m not sure if you could, but instead of just feeling sorry for the story try and fact check it. Example, if he claims he had a love one that passed away actually check to see public records of it. Kind of reminds of that show the Bachelor and all that controversy of that girl Kelsey Poe who has such dramatic stories all the time.

My personal opinion based on what you wrote is that he likes what you are giving him or can potentially give him as opposed to caring for you as a person. Think about it too. Let’s pretend what he says is true where once you two go out with each other you will break up and resent each other. If he is so sure or worried about that outcome then what is the point of you two having sex? Unless I am wrong, you want a real relationship. So just from a logical point of view why would you even think of having sex with him?

Ultimately, whether or not you should have sex with him is a personal choice of what you want out of this. By the sounds of it, he wants it bad with no strings attached. The question is do you want to be in that kind of relationship yourself? To me he is making it loud and clear that is what he wants.