Just a friend?

Anna Asks:

Hello there, would like your advice on a pisces guy I have been liking for a very long time. How can I know if I have fallen into the friend zone with him? We known each other for about 2 years. At first few months of knowing him I can see chemistry between us, like lots of exchanging glances, frequent chatting and sharing life together. He even get possessive over me when he see other guy trying to get close to me and wants to know who I am messaging or calling to. I thought he will one day ask me out for a sort of date but that day never come so I am not sure am I just a normal friend without any chances of advancing into something more.

I actually see a lot of comments at other similar chat forum and it is always pointing to the direction that he does like me. Things that a pisces guy will do when they like a girl such as they usually show a lot of interest in wanting to know about the girl more, will do things out of their way to help the girl, try to make a girl they like happy and they will be delighted to see her smile, and turning to her for advices and emotional support. I also gave some indirect hints that I like him the by praising him that he is better than any other guys I know. Recently we sort of had a little misunderstanding and our tone of messaging suddenly turn cold and polite instead of the usual buddy kind of happy mood. I also noticed that whenever we messaged that day, he will be still awake at wee hours of the night at 3 or 4 am whereby other nights he sleep very early as he doesn’t stay online by 9pm or latest by 11pm.

I am awake too but I never continue messaging as it is like stalking him and he is the one who never reply to me though after I last sent him something. :/ Is it just a coincidence everytime? I can’t find the courage to pry into why he didn’t sleep and asking him straight out how does he view me as every where I see they always say it may scare him away or push him further 🙁 so far, there isn’t anything he did that make me think he wants to date me as there are no actions on his side, so am I being friendzoned by him as time goes by?

Anna,

Speaking for a person like me, the term friend zone is kind of confusing in the sense that I kind of put every girl in the friend zone. Basically, everyone is going to get treated nicely where nothing will advance in the relationship sense in a time-frame that most people are accustomed to. Example, for a typical guy you know if you are friend zoned with stereotypical examples such as if the guy doesn’t make a move to like kiss you as an example.

As you may have read, a person like me takes their sweet time to try and evaluate people in the most natural way as possible. Hence, it can take a very long time where if you are friends with the person and they are engaged with your life then that is good. Like for me too, as I mentioned in other posts my “dating phase” isn’t asking you to go to a restaurant per se but instead the time I spend with you to learn more about you.

If you want to move it faster, then you simply need to take initiative of some sort such as inviting him to activities. Other than that, with what you wrote so far the question should be more about whether or not he sees you as like marriage material where you should be able to have conversations with him on the values he has in life. Afterwards, you cross reference those to yourself to see if you are a match or not on whether or not you can be an ideal couple. If you seem to match everything then it’s just a matter of you needing to take more initiative. If not, then chances are you are just a friend to him.

I don’t know what your conversations are so I can’t really give an answer to it other than remember the form of communication you are using as typing text messages and speaking to the guy in-person is not the same thing in terms of getting responses when you speak. Example, you send a joke online and there are odds that they will read it without responding. Do that in-person and of course they will respond in-front of you too.

So if anything, as time goes by it should technically increase the odds that the person would want to be with you. If I were you I would at bare minimum ask why he is up so late. I would imagine even as a friend you would be curious. Who knows, maybe he will open up to you such as he is struggling with something or is busy. That then gives you the door to potentially play a bigger role in his life to build the relationship even more.