Is There Potential? Is He Interested!

Alyanna Asks:

Hi Alan,

I have a question and am confused by a Pisces guy I know.

I met him back in university but was more of an acquaintance than a friend. Since graduating from university, we live in different continents but somehow over Facebook have regularly messaged and talked.

Since June this year, this has been on a daily basis where we talk about everything from friendly debates, family and life plans. We have both equally initiated conversations with maybe 2 weeks gap of no correspondence.

I have recently decided to study a course that will help my career which he happened to be studying. We agreed to be long distance/online study partners and have been doing this for 2 weeks now. On a daily basis, we study together over Skype (audio) for at least 2.5 hours and he messaged first to start our study session.

Since we have studied I had realised that he is more able in this course and so he is tutoring me more than us equally studying and discussing the topics. I mentioned it and thanked him but he said not to thank him as he enjoys it.

We have grown very close the last 2 weeks and we plan to do this for another 1.5 month at least on a daily basis. During these study sessions, we speak about other things and interests and we spend a lot to time joking and laughing.
I have noticed in the last week, that he seems interested in me as he is suggesting that we should move to the same city (I am looking to relocate to the country he is living in and have multiple options), talks about future plans with “we” and just being overly attentive.

I have also become interested in him but would hope if he does feel anything that he will be the first to say and initiate that conversation.

Do you think he is interested? His insisting that we study everyday (which I like) with not so much benefit to himself has made me feel that he is. Is this normal for a Pisces man to treat a friend or do you think his intentions have evolved?

If so, what is your advice? Shall I wait until he makes the move?

PS he is sociable with large group of friends but I feel there is shyness when it comes to girls

Thank you

Alyanna

Alyanna,

I am inclined to say this is beyond being nice as it sounds like he is very into you. Based on what you wrote too, it sounds like he already took initiative by throwing suggestive thoughts such as how you two should move to the same city together. I know for most people when they say take initiative they specifically mean that they want the guy to ask them out on a date.

Even for me personally though, the sign of “initiative” are things such as asking you further questions to learn about you while asking questions about your future to see if we fit. Normally during other times a more reserved person like myself would leave it entirely up to you to take “initiative” even if I think it is really obvious that you are trying to push things forward.

Is it normal to treat a friend that way with that much assistance and gain nothing from it personally? The short answer is yes as I do it all the time and I wouldn’t recommend using that as a way to gauge romantic interest. What you can use it for though is to gauge his interest and engagement level with you as a person. Because quite frankly if the person thinks you are genuine and identifies with you enough for them to want to donate their time to constantly help you then at least you know that you have a good connection which is the foundation of any relationship.