I’m just lost and can’t understand his actions! I met this Pisces man at a club. We were introduced by a common friend. The min I said hi to him, I knew there was something there but he had his gf with him so I stayed away. After few hours our common friend went to him and told him to stay away from me after he saw the way he was looking at me( PS. Our common friend is here protective of me and he does the same thing with any of his friends who would hang out with us. He considers me as his little sister) anyways, couple of hours later, his gf left mad and I didn’t know why. Somehow I felt drawn to him so I went and sat next to him.
We started talking and laughing. We had drinks together and ended up dancing then passionately making out. He asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Our common friend saw us and got really pissed. The night ended up bad with my friend dragging me out of the club. He fought with my Pisces and told him that he had crossed the line when he had warned him already. My Pisces told him that he liked me and he felt we had chemistry and that’s why he kissed me and he has no regrets.
We left the club, and as soon as I got in my car, I received a message from him asking me to drive home safe and GE apologised for how the night ended. Then he said that he has no regrets and I was worth it. The next day he messaged saying that he never felt like this about a kiss. And he called it mind blowing. I was cold cause I lied to my best friend about exchanging numbers and I just didn’t want to lose my friend. He kinds felt it and he said you are being weird and cold cause of your friend and it was childish of me. We didn’t speak for few days but I couldn’t stop thinking about him so I messaged him after 3 days and he replied saying that he was in Australia. And he will be back in 10.days and we should meet when he is back. He was messaging once or twice everyday when he was in Australia. And he messaged as soon as he landed back in town.
We kept messaging for 2 days and we had personal conversation and he sent me songs then asked me out for dinner after 3 days. Then he canceled and and said that he had to stay late at work. I didn’t take it to heart and I kept on checking on him and about work. We kept messaging all day. Late that night he told me that he was meeting our common friend who introduced us for drinks. And he wants to see after he leaves. I told him that I was drunk already and I didn’t want to see him like this. After an hour or so of chatting, he told that our common friend came and he sent me a picture of their table at the bar which clearly had girls there.
I told him it looked fun and he should make the best out of it after the stressful day he had. After half an hour when I was going home, he called me for the first time since we met and he told me that he doesn’t know why he called but he just wanted to hear NY voice. Then he said although there are so many girls here , I’m still on his mind and he asked me to drive safe and let him know when I get home. I reached home and he messed asking if I reached.
I replied yes and slept. I woke up to find a good morning message from him then he told how hungover he was and how he had good 2 handlers who took care of him that night. I told him as long as he was happy then that all what matters and told him to enjoy his day. We didn’t talk for the entire day. Next day I messaged good morning and he replied saying that he feels like going to the movies but he is still not sure. He asked me what I was upto. I told him I was at the gym then going to meet a friend for coffee. We didn’t talk for the rest of the day and ten late night he messaged me goodnight.
The next day I messaged good morning and he replied back saying that he was at the gym and now heading to work so I wished him a good day. He didn’t reply and disappeared for 3 days. No word and no calls. 4 th day he sent me a song saying that he doesn’t know why it reminded him of me and he asked how I was. I replied saying I’m fine and all is well. We had few cold messages about work and weekend plans. And nothing after that. Late night I messaged saying that I know it was non of my business but I felt that you were not OK and you are not yourself.
He replied in the morning saying that yes he is not and he said that his divorce is driving him crazy and stressing him out.( PS. I know he is going through divorce. He told me at the club when we first met). I told him that it will be OK and don’t let it get to u. He thanks me and disappeared for the rest of the day. I’m confused! What does he want from me. I made it clear to him at the club that I’m not looking for a husband or a boyfriend. I’m just looking for passion. And he was so into it. Then he turned the conversation to more of relationship kinda of chat. Why he hasn’t asked me out again and why does he send me all these mixed messages. Love songs and love quotes and he tells me details about his work and what he does when I didn’t even ask. Then he disappears and reappears. Can you help cause I’m lost. I’m a cancer BTW.
Your situation almost sound like what people would describe as a rebound relationship in many ways. Basically, it`s like he is trying to find a quick replacement for the emotions he would normally be receiving on a regular basis. For whatever reason you have the qualities he is seeking. So in that sense it seems pretty straight forward where he is trying to get closer with you. Whether or not it is a “rebound” or something more long-term serious is another question.
It seems like to me when he mentioned his divorce stress he was hoping that you would be more engaged with his issue as opposed to just approaching it with a “don’t worry, you’ll be fine” sort of deal. This also confuses me a little for you because if I understand this correctly you mentioned that you straight up told him that you are not looking for a relationship but passion. If you think about it, why would he ask you out? The hope is since you drew the line he hopes that you will jump over it I would say. It all makes rational sense in many ways.
Imagine it like a situation where you are desperately down in life and need support in all facets of life. I tell you that all I can help you with is financially with like $30 a day and that’s all I can do. Although you need and want way more from me, you accept it. Then as the days go by you still haven’t really found others you can trust who are willing to help you emotionally but you feel I can. Therefore, every time I give you money you now begin to share more details about your struggles to me. Inside your hope is that I will try and offer you more help, but you respect the boundaries I have given you where I stated all I can help you with is with finances.
So like there, do you think you would ask me for help in other ways other than money even though I made it abundantly clear from the start? My assumption for most people would be no. Especially if it is a relationship/connection you don’t want to lose. Then imagine there are days where I give you the $30 and you tell me about a struggle you have. My response is simply “Don’t worry, things will get better and you’ll find help.” Mostly likely you will thank me and disappear for the day too due to disappointment. You just need to replace the details here with your situation with him and I feel it makes perfect sense in terms of his actions and all. The ball is in your court.