I thought this was an interesting phrase that some readers used, so I guess I will dive into the topic. So far I have talked a lot about my personality and why I approach things the way I do where it seems like you are going to have to be the one to take initiative first. So what exactly are the signs that people like me give back to show that we are interested in learning more about you? Again, keep in mind that I am writing all of this based on my own experiences.
I remember one example in my life where there was this girl that met me at a place I was working at. My job was to interact and help customers find products that they were looking for while educating them about it. After talking with this girl, she seemed happy and proceeded to head home. Afterwards, she comes back a few seconds later and asks if I used things like an online chat software incase she doesn’t see me again and this way she can ask me questions about new releases and so fourth. I agreed and gave her my contact.
Now here is what was going on in my mind up till that point. Generally speaking, I was working at that job because I was very enthusiastic about the things I get to do and as well it revolved around a hobby I enjoyed. So whenever I talk to people in general it doesn’t feel like work and it’s great to meet other enthusiasts. When this girl came up to me I treated her like any other customer while having fun talking about the products.
When she turned around and came back with a semi stuttering voice asking me for an online contact I immediately knew that she liked me and was interested in getting to know me better. Now here was a big clue that I gave as a way of saying “you seem like a cool person and I would be really interested in learning more about you too”. She asked for an online chat alias and I normally don’t really use those programs. So, while I did give her an alias I gave her an e-mail address as well as I told her I actually check that often. So, she smiled and then left the store.
So what happened? She didn’t send me an e-mail. What happened was that she would come back to the store to chat with me again in a semi nervous type of way. She even started to do the girl stuff such as touching her hair a lot which from my knowledge/observations meant that she is trying to grab my attention (Correct me if I’m wrong ladies).
Again, I knew that she wanted me to say ask her out or something. To give her another hint that I would be open to it, I started to ask her about her personal life such as what school she went to, the type of courses she was taking, etc. If a guy like me asks those questions then that means you can relax as there is something about you that I like. Sure enough though, she seemed to just walk away with that “Nothing is working” mentality and questioning whether or not I had any interest in her.
So here is the ultimate attempt she made in trying to get me to ask her it seems. I guess from visiting the store she generally knew when I worked. For this particular day, I am usually one of the associates that help to close the store down for my department specifically. Sure enough, she arrives about 5 minutes before the store closes saying that she was looking for something for her dad. I mentioned that we didn’t really carry that item here and that the store was closing up. So, she asked if I knew any other places around the area and I mentioned there were many.
What happened was she waited for me to show her and so right after work I walked with her as if we were shopping together I guess you could say. Unfortunately, a lot of the stores were closing too which meant she couldn’t buy the item. As a result, we just started to head our own ways in an effort to get home. However, during this walk in my mind this was partly another attempt in trying to get me to say set a date up with her as I guess that was her definition of a reassurance that I liked her.
As kind of a final hint from myself, as we were walking she started talking about her collection of her video games and I commented in a playful way how I should visit her sometime and we can have a fun match. She responded in a subtle yet enthusiastic response saying I should do that. However, I didn’t specify a date but rather I told her to let me know when she was free one day and I would be open to it. She smiled and all to it. In the end, she never followed through.
My assumption on what happened, most girls often say that when a guy doesn’t directly take initiative in those types of situations that means he has no interest in you. Therefore, in my opinion she was probably just self doubting herself all the time and eventually believing that I just thought she was a disinteresting person.
For my personality type, the ironic thing is while I may be a bit more indirect and mysterious to people when it comes to trying to find out if I like them or not, interestingly enough it is pretty evident if I don’t have any interest at all. Example, like in this scenario I wouldn’t have even asked about her background or education or even offer to give her my contact information. Just the fact that I even continued to communicate with her is a good indication already. If I start to ask you more questions too that is a really good sign to say that I feel comfortable being around you far.
If I don’t like someone too, with my personality you are just gone. No communication, I will ignore your requests and so fourth. In many ways it’s just like becoming friends with people. If you want to be friends then the both of you will be open to each other as opposed to a closed off way. The key thing is communication and whether or not the person is actively asking you questions in an effort to learn more about you. If so, they obviously like you to a certain extent to want to possibly build a relationship of some sort.