This is a real conversation that I heard which actually helped inspired me to create this site. I was with a group of people waiting for a production to start which meant a lot of waiting around. Within this group happened to be a lot of females and a conversation came up about relationships with a Pisces man and how they are so quiet and never seem to ask you out despite how many signals you give. Basically, you have to be the aggressor and many times that just ends up scaring them away. They wondered, why are they like that?
Now I’ll admit, to a certain extent I am like that. However, it just kind of amazed me when they were discussing that as if people are like that because of the date they were born on. So for myself, here is what I am thinking if it was me in that type of scenario and you can take what you want from it.
For myself, I grew up as the youngest child and one of my older brother had a girlfriend. As years went by, break ups occurred which meant heartbreaks. Likewise, I had friends that often went out with who you could classify as the “pretty” girls. As kids we thought forming couples was the thing to do too as we got older. In virtually every case I saw, despite how everyone “looks” like a good couple it seemed like eventually when they got to know each other’s personalities a lot of clashes and disputes arose.
The solution to the problem in my mind was if I wanted to avoid that you have to go out with the girl based on her personality. So what I did was I approached a girl that has been super nice to me throughout the years. I was not physically attracted to her at all and didn’t factor interests, but thought this was the answer on how you begin establishing a lifelong relationship with someone. Nope, wrong as we didn’t even become a couple.
We didn’t really have anything in common, it felt so robotic and for the most part it seemed like I was trying too hard to build something out of it and the same wasn’t being returned. The funny thing was I didn’t take it personally at all though and just asked her straight up if she even wanted to be a couple. After thinking about it, she said no not really and I literally just didn’t pursue her anymore and used it as a lesson to try and figure out what the perfect formula is in finding the right girl for me. It was like a science experiment for me as a kid.
Eventually when high school came and I became a teenager, it was like this couples thing just erupted as you start seeing people everywhere in a relationship. Same thing though, the factors I observed as a kid seemed to hold true still where people break up and get extremely distraught over it if they are not right for each other. As a result, in my mind there is no reason to rush this then as I don’t need all that drama that will arise as a result of being with the wrong girl.
As it turned out, I was actually approached by a few girls in my early high school years and I can definitely tell they were looking to possibly establish a relationship with me. Example, same girls in a little group giggling and discussing amongst each other as they took turns asking me to dance.
Thing is, in my mind they knew nothing about me and so my assumption was that this is all based on a physical attraction only and I figured it wouldn’t work out as a result. So while I danced with them and all and was nice, I gave no return signals of any kind afterwards that I was interested in going further. Based on my past experiences, my new mindset was now that the key to establishing a successful relationship was to be with someone that has similar interests as you too where you can openly communicate and be relaxed around each other.
Of course, this resulted in many people wondering what the heck I was thinking and all as I seemed to be so hard to read compared to say another guy that was all about being the loudest and coolest where you could get his attention easily. It’s one of those constant analyzing the facts scenario and trying to determine the person’s intentions in wanting to be with me. Because in the end, I want it to work out for the both of us.
Let’s fast forward to my adulthood now. Generally speaking, I have experienced a lot more in life while being able to see characteristics and signals that shows a person’s true character. I will dive more into specifics with others posts. For the most part, a lot of my beliefs as a child and teenager remain true. The main thing is that actions speak louder than words in finding out a person’s true character.
My mindset is that a relationship is all about balance and being able to bring out the best in each other. As well, since I am a very loyal person who would go above and beyond for you once I feel that I trust you as a person, the barrier I have is greater to minimize the possibilities of surrounding myself with people that I don’t want to associate with.
So why is it that a women has to take the initiative in approaching me first? It’s not because of shyness for me. A strong quality that I am looking for that I believe is a good match is a mature minded women that is confident. I’m personally not exactly the type of person that flashes expensive gear or tries to impress people with smooth talking.
The first theory is that if a women approaches me there is a good chance that she is confident which I respect a lot. If she is more blunt about it that is even better. As well, I want a women that I can openly talk to and since I am a listener I want her to feel comfortable in talking to me about things too. I personally don’t think you can change people. So, if there was say a women that was giving me all the signals but didn’t have the courage to actually ask me directly, I won’t go for it as that just makes me think that is how it is going to be like in an actual relationship setting. Example, you are having a bad day and to get my attention to ask you what’s wrong you just keep throwing and kicking everything down. Preferably rather just have the person talk it out.
Afterwards it becomes kind of a confirmation process where I am trying to see if you are genuinely the type of person you appear to be upfront. Cause everyone knows that people change depending on circumstances. But in general, I’d say a person with my personality type wants you to take charge mainly for reassurance in various things. Speaking for myself, once you get pass all of that everything will pour out. No more mystery mode, if that is what you want to call it.
Is this a drawback for myself in many ways? Absolutely. In many ways you can say that is way too picky. I actually find it funny when I hear women say it’s hard to find good guys and this and that as I think that is the case with finding a good women. Lol. But I treat it with humor as I know it’s a choice that I am this way as there is no point in rushing into things I’d say.
You can choose to believe an astrology type of direction in approaching this personality type or simply read things like this and take what makes sense to you logically and rationally. Like with my example, I kind of explained some of the psychology and reasoning as to why my approach is that way and what I am hoping to find first. For someone else, the reasons may be different, but the intentions can be the same.