Not Getting Instant Acknowledgement of Text Messages

KiKi Asks:

Hello. So reading through your site, I have a question I am wondering if you can give me insight on.

I started speaking with this Pisces man online 2 months ago on a dating website. Our conversations flowed naturally and we found that we had a lot in common in terms of what kind of life we want to lead, relationships, likes/dislikes, etc. After 3 weeks of talking on the phone, we started doing face chat a few times a week. In our 2nd month, he flew down to my city to meet me. To sum it all up it went great, or so I think, as we met all 3 days he was in town. Overall our meetings went really well even though there was no physical contact aside from grabbing my hand to lead me through crowds and such. During his trip, he opened up to me and told me that he was thinking of moving to my city. He also said that he has never told anyone that is not close to him about his plans. But he was planning on moving his business and expanding it into something bigger. He was very appreciative of the time I spent with him on his last day in town in helping him with his errands and the advice I gave. He also said that he admired my drive and success even though I have had a rough past like him.

After returning home, we continued communicating through phone. About a week ago, he moved to my city. I understand that things can be difficult with a move and getting set up. But I feel as though communication has dropped off a lot. I feel like he is doing disappearing acts and it is making me question whether he is dating someone else or if I am just a friend to him. The day (M) he got into down from his move, he called and asked me out for dinner. He also had dinner with me on Tuesday. The following day we did not meet but communicated via text. And then the following day (Th) he had asked me if I could meet him but I was at work until late and we didn’t end up meeting.. he did say that he was having friends coming in town the next day. Then on Friday he stated that a friend (not friends) in town. Needless to say I didn’t hear from him all weekend, regardless of just the 1 text I sent saying hope you had a great day. I finally heard back from him today. If I had received a text and was busy all weekend, I would respond with “I will get back to you later…” or something to acknowledge the text. But that’s just me… I am just wondering what is going on…is there another girl, am I just a friend, or is he really interested but taking his time. As stated, whenever we have met, we have had a great time. But he also has not made a physical move yet so it just leaves me questioning what exactly is happening.

Kiki,

Based on what you wrote my personal thoughts are he is looking for help with his business. It sounds like in many ways he wanted you to help him with it without asking you directly. My basis of this is that by saying he is telling you something that he claims no one else knows in relation to his business it’s kind of like a test to see how you act on it. Example, will you be a sideline cheerleader or will you be the person who will jump in to help?

I am inclined to say too that while you were talking to each other afterwards he was hoping you would be enthusiastic and take initiative in wanting to support him with his business. Think of it like a stereotypical purposely dropping a belonging next to a person scenario. While you can just pick it up yourself, you so want the person to help you with it as to you it can signify things like care and interest for you.

Because that is his priority for whatever reason at the moment, he needs to find people who will support him. If you aren’t helping him with this then you are simply draining him, for a lack of a better word. Hence, he disappears. In relations to establishing an intimate relationship, if he is the type that wants the person to be like their best friend, business partner and all that in life then this would of course play a huge role in deciding if he wants to get closer with you.

About the text messages and leaving a “I will get back to you later…” note, even I must admit that even I don’t do that many times if I am drained. Unless of course I know it is important for example, I would simply reply when I am ready. I can’t speak for him specifically, but I personally believe it just comes down to the notion that he needs to receive and not give at those moments. If what I said above is true on top of the day where he asked to meet you but you were busy, it’s in a way a sign that he doesn’t feel he can rely on you for when his tank is empty, so to speak.

So I personally believe he is showing all the signs that he is interested in you as a person definitely. Whether or not he wants to go further depends on how much of an impact you want to play in his general life as it is clear to me in his mind you aren’t in that zone.