Friends With Benefits or Something More With A Pisces Man
This guy and I have recently decided to be friends with benefits. But our situation is sort of complicated…I’ve known him for about a year.. We met through a mutual friend, and we weren’t close until the friend had to go away for a few months. We started talking more, and I honestly didn’t think I liked him at all… Until one day we got drunk and I ended up having sex with him. That was five months ago.
After that, we started hanging out a lot more, he’d kiss me and walk me to my room (we live in dorms) and would hold my hand, relationship stuff like that but neither of us were looking for a relationship. My roommate told me that I should tell him that I liked him to get it out there and I did. He told me he liked me too, but after that things got really weird and awkward. I found out a month later that he started liking this other girl, which is why he stopped acting like he used to.. and I was fine with that, I just didn’t like the fact that he completely dropped me without saying anything. We had this talk, and we got all the awkwardness and things out of the way he started flirting with me again and told me he didn’t like the girl. We decided to be friends with benefits but he likes to cuddle, watch movies with me, go out to, etc.. And I was wondering how should I take him doing these things?
I have no problem with the no commitment thing & I enjoy things how they are now. But the type of person I am is a flirt and its generally meaningless flirting. He will sometimes get jealous because of that. He’s not flirting or seeing anyone else since we’ve started this, so at times it makes me feel bad. I see him everyday (due to living in the same dorm, him coming to my job and having class together) & he does things I would expect a bf to do which is why I guess I’m confused as to what he wants.
Based on what you wrote, it feels like he is saying and doing things that he thinks you want to hear as opposed to what he is truly feeling. Think about it. The person had sex with you and then one day you go up to him saying you actually really like him. It’s not the socially appropriate thing for most to then say something like “Sorry, it was all for fun” sort of deal. To me this would sort of fit in with the awkwardness and why he started to like someone else.
From there confronting him about it looks like it made him think of all this in a logistical way where he could have like the comfort with you guaranteed or risk pursuing someone that may or may not develop into the same thing. I would say from there he is again now trying to do what he thinks is the noble thing such as trying to not pursue others. Based on the circumstance I see things like the cuddle and such as comfort as opposed to pure love, so to speak. I say that only based on the actions and reactions that you wrote.
The feelings can definitely develop over time just like any type of relationship when you are with another person for so long. Again, to me at this point it feels like he is simply doing what he thinks is the right thing to do to get that mutual comfort from you and it is highly unlikely that anyone would ever admit to that as it simply sounds “wrong” and not to mention an ego crusher for many.