Finding And Communicating With A Pisces Man Through An Online Dating Site or App
One theme that a lot of the questions here revolve around are people who meet or attempt to find their partner from an online dating site. For whatever reason, like in many other situations people find that the person doesn’t seem to be the person advertised on the site. As you may be aware, for myself I have never been too into “dating” in general as again I prefer to learn about people organically. I did try online dating before though so I have some knowledge and experience in it. But it made me think if there was anything from my experience that could help you screen out and get a person like me to communicate with you.
Just recently, there was this documentary called “Swiped” which revolved around the online dating culture. There were general stories of people’s experiences with tips and advice on how to have a better dating profile. While watching this, the thing that stuck in my mind was “How in the world would you ladies ever get to know me with these impulsive decisions?” At the same time, I was reading some of the texts that are apparently very common on what men send to woman and I was like “This can’t be real.”
Just as a quick summary for those who can’t watch it, from what I gathered when it comes to things like photos apparently there are too many men that think taking pictures of their private parts are a good idea.
For woman there are too many photos of them bunched up with their friends.
People apparently don’t know how to initiate conversation such as men always opening up a conversation with how good a woman’s body part is or that it’s always something bluntly sexualized. I still can’t believe this is real….. These were some screenshots from it:
Of course, there was a theme later that the dates don’t end up as expected or that people simply have no social skills where they are solely dependent in communicating and expressing their feelings over text.
So with all this in mind, I think back to when I actually tried online dating where there was literally only one woman who successfully got me to go out on a date with her. It actually wasn’t that hard, but at the same time even with this documentary I can see why a person like me would probably always be hiding in that corner where just like in offline situations you will probably need to take initiative.
Now when I tried online dating my general mindset was that there are always more men than women. To a certain extent, I believe in the notion that because of this imbalance a woman is going to get swarmed with responses. This often generates pretty hostile profiles which affects a person like me more since I want to get to know the real person behind all those glamor shots. For example, a woman’s profile would say things along the lines of “Don’t contact me if you don’t have X amount of money” or “Losers, don’t even bother as I will just delete your message.”
While I get it where a person has probably gotten overwhelmed with bad matches, to me reading things like that makes me interpret that the person is in a sense “mean spirited” or “ego centric” where it is all about them. As well, it furthers my mindset where instead of me adding on to your pile of having to go through hundreds of messages I will just put myself out there with the belief that if you are serious about matching up based on things like personality and values then you will contact me. Now of course, more than likely if a person has a similar personality like me then they probably wouldn’t initiate the conversation either. So in that sense, it would be like a stalemate right?
The site I tried just happened to have a ton of quizzes you could try for fun where at the same time this is supposed to rate your personality where others can see how much of a match you are value wise to another person. Based on what I saw here with this documentary, I think that is probably a key differentiator. A person like me will actually take the time to do those silly quizzes, questionnaires and games where if it is supposed to demonstrate my personality then I am trying to give you as much details in that sense as possible.
It’s kind of funny as this documentary kind of showed that it was men that had photos which flashed their body parts and all. Maybe this is just an online dating thing, but from my end it was like so many females were doing that. The shocking thing I found was that a lot of the people who contacted me didn’t seem to read my profile. For example, for me I had some clear deal breakers such as if the person smoked and yet I would still get messages from people who enjoy it. In many ways it felt like people don’t even read what you write and base everything on the photo. To me that was very odd as the stereotype is usually woman are the listeners and all who want to go in the deep zones personality wise.
While for the most part it looked like a dud, I did turn off the profile. One day I read about the same site on the news about a new feature and it got me curious. As a result, I turned my profile back on to see it for myself. About a day later this girl contacts me where her opening message was how she had never seen a profile of another man that had such a high match percentage rating with her. Therefore, she was compelled to message me.
For the most part I had a conversation with her which was just sharing some basic details on who we were. While to me it was just a normal conversation, I guess based on this documentary that is apparently a rare thing? Most of the conversation revolved around seeing how this site determined that we were a high match and having fun with it.
I was responding fairly promptly. What was running through my mind again was that since she is a female she is probably getting bombarded by requests. Therefore, I will not take initiative to take this thing offline. There were also times where she wouldn’t respond for two days or so. Now what happens in my mind is how this is contradicting with her expressed actions.
Example, she expressed she was so excited to meet a person like me where in my mind this means she should be prompt in her answers too. So there are only two real possible scenarios assuming that is true. Either she is just very busy or she was trying the “don’t respond to them right away” act that I have often hear females do as apparently it is supposed to make guys like you more. I can tell you that definitely doesn’t do any good for a person with my personality type. Therefore, my “guard” actually went a little higher now as until that point I had no real reason to question her motives.
She eventually seemed like she wanted to setup a date and asked what kind of a “drinker” I was and I mentioned that I didn’t drink alcohol or coffee. I said I was more of a juice guy. Afterwards, she expressed how she wanted to get to know me better and asked for my number and all. She also suggested that we meet up at this tea place.
I didn’t see why not and so we exchanged numbers and took the communication off the site to phone texting. The only thing that was bad was that I had a scheduled meeting during the day she suggested where it would only give me like one hour to learn about her. But, I agreed anyways as she took the time to reach out to me and so I felt compelled to make it work. Again, for a person like you that is a good sign if you invite me to like an event or activity and I find a way to make it work despite my schedule.
As I was heading to the meeting area I got a text from her asking if I was close by. I did mention I was like two minutes away and she then told me that unfortunately the tea place was closed. However, she mentioned that she may know another place where we can decide once we meet up. As I was close to the destination I was able to see her from a distance. I could see from a distance that she wasn’t smiling. That first impression definitely got stuck in my head. Cause to me, I like to see people being themselves as much as possible. With her facial and body expression looking kind of “mad” it made me wonder if she was say a hot tempered person.
I eventually arrived and greeted her first. As she looked up, she kind of paused for a bit it seems. In my mind I didn’t know what to think as she could potentially go completely “volcanic” based on the body language I saw from a distance. Lol. However, fortunately she had a big smile after she realized the person greeting her was her date. Because of that body language before it makes me question if she is naturally say “uptight” or that maybe she just had bad experiences in dating people where she got like stood up. That’s something I would want to find out of course.
Now since the tea place was unexpectedly closed she mentioned how she remember that I said I was a juice guy and assumed I meant like raw juice because to her it sounded strange if I meant like drinking apple juice from a fast food restaurant as an example. I chuckled over that and told her that she was right about the raw juice. Therefore, she suggested that we go to like this “juice bar” of sorts. I immediately reacted by saying we can go to any coffee shop too as to my knowledge she was a coffee drinker. However, she was persistent in going to the juicing place and mentioned she would enjoy it too. So we went.
That one gesture made me tick off in my head on how she genuinely listened and tried to get to know me as a person when she contacted me on that site. While it may sound weird, in my mind I was thinking that we are going to “get along just fine” if the point of going to this place was to confirm personality. Therefore, in my mind I actually really wanted to just suggest that we walk around and do some sight-seeing while talking. To me, this would better show how we each react naturally to the environment around us to better understand each other. But of course, I would imagine it would make the situation awkward. So we went into the juice place.
She first placed her order and interestingly enough the thing she ordered was the only thing that sounded appealing to me too. So, we both ordered the same thing. As the worker asked how it was to be paid without hesitation I just offered to pay for the both of us. This was a surprise to her as she was expecting to pay her own way. But to me, because she was very thoughtful in choosing this place it was the least I could do I thought.
By now things were pretty much going how I envision it would. Example, basic conversation where in many ways it’s almost like interviewing each other. Information wise, the main thing I am looking for is to help fill in the blanks of her actions I saw before such as with the “uptight” type of look. That resulted me in asking how long she had been using the site and how many dates she went on. She basically said she had only been on one where the two seemed like they had nothing in common.
While I know most people would ask things like this as a way to move a conversation forward, for a person like me it’s about filling in the blanks. It’s all done in an organic way too. Because like in this example, something happened where your actions or mannerism made me want to find out why you are like that way. In a way, that bad experience she had explains it to a certain extent.
Once I was semi satisfied with the “fill in the blanks” answers I wanted to genuinely learn about her needs to see how I would be able to make her life a lot better if I was in it. This resulted in me asking her questions such as why she got into the things she has career wise and what she aspires to do. In many ways, I believe if I was to enter into a serious relationship like this with anyone then I should be able to naturally help you with your goals. She ended up telling me and the funny thing was I actually knew someone who I could refer to her. So in my mind, things like this is like an offering from me to see if what I can give you truly makes you a better person. I am not even thinking about if the situation is the same reversed yet.
Here was the odd part. She seemed to lose her confident a bit after where she then even mentioned how what she currently did wasn’t too big of a deal as it’s more or less just a “job.” So to me it was obvious that she was say in the midst of a career lifestyle change of some sort. She didn’t actually say that but I could obviously tell. To me in general there is nothing wrong with that at all. However, the act of not in a sense being transparent about it yourself and me finding out through analyzation of things like your words and body language puts me in that “fill in the blank” mode.
If you think about it, before that one moment she pretty much had me. I have often read literatures where people say that you shouldn’t be “dishonest” with a person like me as I would just “know” somehow. In my view, there isn’t really anything mysterious about it if you think about it. Like here, I placed a great deal of trust in her due to what I observed as extremely caring and thoughtful actions. However, having to discover on my own a contradiction of sort because she wasn’t open to just saying it puts me in a position where I have to close that up a little again and to find out more before I make any conclusions.
As well, I am inclined to say if you were her you probably had no idea that I was like “all yours” before that and how that one moment just changed everything right? Afterwards we simply just talked about random stuff and she was laughing a lot and all. I eventually had to get going though and she walked with me to the station I had to go to.
As we arrived to the point where we would have to say our goodbye’s she was smiling and expressing to me how we should set something up in the future to meet again. I told her “sure” as I wouldn’t mind getting to know her more. Here is the part that I think a lot of woman would read differently as well. In my mind I thought hugging her would be a nice way to end things off while being a sweet way to essentially thank her for being thoughtful. However, keeping in mind that she wasn’t fully comfortable in being transparent with her feelings about her job and all tells a person like me that you don’t want that type of deep connection with me yet. Therefore, I ended up simply shaking her hand and the date ended.
To my knowledge, a lot of woman would take that as a sign of “He hates me” since a handshake isn’t that “intimate” per se. But keep in mind the factors here too aside from just the part of the opening up. In this case, we met on a platform where my mindset is you are getting contacted by hundreds of people. So therefore, unless you have some way of telling me my assumption is you wish to continue to see what is out there. So for me in this case, regardless of how magical the moments and such may have been it’s like an unfinished piece of writing that will never see the light of day as it will simply sit on the shelf unless you come out and grab it.
That was true in this case as again the likely scenario is people often have the mentality where if the guy doesn’t take initiative to contact you first then it is over. So if you were specifically trying to find and peruse a person with my personality type the same holds true where you would need to take initiative. But hopefully this helps to enlighten you on how a person like me thinks and approaches the whole online dating concept.
As well, keep in mind that this is coming from the perspective of someone who is seriously looking for the right person.