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Reader Questions

Does He Or Doesn’t He Want Me

Hannah Asks:

Hi I need advice, I met. A Guy 5 yrs ago. We dated briefly. He then decided that should be friends only. A year went by ,he called me one night and invited me out. We had a great time. By our 2nd day of hanging iut, we became best friends . we were inseparable. He started to flirt. 6months later we became involved. I met his kid,friends,family. We all got along great.

A yr later he decided he wanted to pursue my then best friend. They had a baby together. We didn’t talk for almost 3years. Then out of blue, he called. We’ve been involved for 2years almost. We’re fwb. We talk daily and often.I have relationship with 2nd kid. Though he tells me were friends with benefits, he can act jealous at times. Hell ask me if I love him. Hell make future plans with me. He considers us as a couple, without labeling it, i think.My car is his car. His house is my house, his bed is our bed. He uses words such as,”we”,”us” and “our”.

When were together we have a great time. Never fight, laugh alot. Sex is amazing, were always finishing eachother sentences,its amazing.he knows we click on so many levels. So if he doesn’t see a future with me, why is he still here.?at times hell think what we’re doing is bad.

And tell me from time to time that soon this will end. Ive faught,cried and scream. One day after hearing it for the 10th time. I decided to try a new strategy. I told him I agreed with him that we should stop everything. He then said ” how could you just walk away like that?now I question if you ever did love?! ” help


Hannah,

To me it sounds like you are being used for his own self confidence and pleasure. In an effort to keep you available to him per se it’s like he is giving you a little but not everything in hopes that the cycle will continue. My personal feelings based on what you wrote is that he asks you things such as if you love him so that he can gauge the level of control he has on you as opposed to wanting to marry you as an example.

Actions speak louder than words and this really doesn’t sound like a relationship you should continue with if you are looking for a committed relationship I feel.

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