This situation was kind of adorable and brought up an interesting topic on how a person with my personality type views the whole notion of not having that special woman in your life. A few weeks ago my little nephew wanted to share some “secrets” with me as he usually finds that he can talk to me more than his parents. Not surprising too much as the parents are usually the one’s to tell the kids “don’t do that” while the aunts and uncles are the fun people right?
The topic was about “relationships” and I was kind of surprised at how fast early elementary kids were already mingling in the whole conversations about couples and all. And just one super hilarious point I was told by my nephew since the majority of questions I get are relationship related. He was telling me that what some of the kids did in school for “fun” nowadays was that they took random pictures from the Internet of like male models and made EHarmony profiles out of it. We are talking about very early elementary school kids here………. So just something funny to know if you are one of those people wondering why so many people on dating sites don’t respond. You could literally be getting pranked by a child.
Anyhow, this started back when out of nowhere during a meal at a restaurant my nephew was asking me how come I wasn’t married. While I was a bit stunned that he asked that I simply told him that I haven’t found the right person yet. According to him he even asked his dad directly and the answer given was that I simply didn’t want to get married. Parents going for the quick and false answers so they don’t have to explain to the child huh? Lol. So this confused him.
As I tried to help him answer his new questions he started to ask me if I ever had like a “girlfriend” in elementary school or even high school. Again, I told him no as I never found the right person. Keep in mind I just spent quite a bit of time explaining to him about “couples” and all in a kiddy way. So when I said that his eyes popped out in a state of shock and his body looked like it just got pushed back by some force.
He then literally said “What?!!! You must have been so lonely!” The fact that this came out of the mouth of a child was adorable as I know that was an authentic reaction of concern. He even had that sad “Please go find someone now” look on his face. I then started to give some watered down examples of relationships I could have entered into but never did in ways he would understand.
What his reaction made me think of is how I often hear from others that it is just perplexing that a person like myself doesn’t seem like they ever want or need like a woman in their life. Hence, it relates back to topics such as a person like me not taking initiative to push for a relationship which is completely backwards to how most other people would approach it.
Now generally speaking I don’t think I am too different than most people in the sense that we are all looking for that person who we will be compatible with on a relationship level. I’d love to have that one woman in my life. Do I get lonely by not having this person in my life? I would say no in the traditional sense and that can at first be a tricky thing to understand if you are thinking about it from a standard mindset.
From my perspective I find that many people often treat a relationship like a cup of coffee. Basically, it’s something that is relied upon to say wake them up in the morning. Therefore, it’s like people “need” to have coffee in their life to handle fatigue. For this reason I have always avoided things like this to not become dependent on it per se as a way of living. Now think of it with this example on the reactions I usually get from people when I tell them I don’t need the coffee. Very often when I work on things with people everyone is asked if they would like some coffee. While everyone says yes as they need that as a pick me up I usually say no as I don’t need it. I’ll come back to this, but the important point to keep in mind is how I said no to this as I don’t need a “pick me up” as like a form of energy in this case which is what the coffee was being presented as. Does this mean I don’t like to or want to drink liquids period? I think everyone can see that would be ludicrous as we all need/want something to stay hydrated right?
Now in this example you should think why I don’t need that coffee in that way. Generally speaking, I try and take care of my life as a whole to ensure I would be energized for the day. That means everything from eating healthy, lifestyle habits to stay fit, having the right bed and pillow to make sure I get proper rest, etc. So when someone asks me if I need that coffee I actually don’t. Does that mean my life wouldn’t be better if I had something to drink? Of course it could be better as in this case you would literally feel “empty” if you never like drank anything. You’d probably dehydrate.
Here was actually another good real example using coffee. One day while on the job the company decided to treat everyone by bringing a commercial espresso truck of sorts. Most of the days were consisting of like 12 hour+ days for everyone so I guess they figured this would be a great way to energize people. Now to my knowledge they would just be serving coffee. So again, I actually still had a lot of energy and didn’t need anything like that. Some new people who I never met before thought it was weird how I manage to like not fall asleep without coffee.
As one of the assistance came to take some orders for people as they wanted to make sure everyone got something I was literally the only one to say I’m good. While the other workers just confirmed that I wasn’t interested in anything the assistant felt weird that I didn’t want anything. After making the rounds he was persistent in asking me again on whether or not I wanted anything. I reaffirmed that I didn’t need it and that I don’t drink coffee.
Again, he still felt I should get something as technically this was supposed to be a reward of sort for people’s hard work. So afterwards he asked if I wanted like raw juice or a fresh smoothie as they had that too. I was surprised as again I thought that was just a truck that served coffee. Those are often the type of stuff I consume as for me anyways I find that it makes me healthier overall which in turn naturally gives me that long-term benefit. So I said yes to ordering one. In this case everyone did get something to drink even myself. The key to matching me up with something was that the drink wasn’t necessarily something I needed right at that point. Instead, it was a good match that complimented my overall lifestyle habits.
So let’s think about this if we changed the question to “Does a Pisces man get thirsty?” Well, technically yes of course I do. People often say though that once you get thirsty that means you are already dehydrated. Therefore, I try to make life choices where I will naturally stay hydrated in a consistent way. So for me in most cases drinking something in this case has to do more with whether or not it makes me better overall.
This is very similar I feel in talking about the subject of loneliness and relationships. For myself I try and live a balanced lifestyle which means doing the things I am passionate about and staying healthy physically and emotionally. Because if one of those life balances goes out of whack then I could all of sudden get say very depressed. Hence, I could then easily see myself trying to just find any woman to fulfill that void. Let’s face it, like in this case having the companionship and emotional bond with another woman can be a pretty powerful thing. In many ways, it can easily supersede all of the other positive things you do to be positive in life. It’s almost like this example I heard with food where if you wanted vitamin C apparently a bell pepper has like three times more vitamin C than an orange. So if having a woman in my life is like having a bell pepper instead isn’t that better?
Like in this example too, I feel I shouldn’t be wanting bell peppers in my diet because I am always vitamin C deficient per se. If anything, I should be in a situation where my lifestyle gives me an adequate amount of nutrition period. So, if I am introducing bell peppers into my lifestyle now then it should make it way better.
If you think about it too it makes sense why a person with my personality type would be very attentive or in tune with others where it seems like we have so much to give while not expecting anything back. Because in a way I am taking care of myself to be able to be the best for the both of us. A lot of times though people form the relationship where they aren’t really happy with their life in general. Therefore, how can they give their best when they aren’t at their best?
That of course can create the downside in finding a significant other. Because like most things in life unless you have a compelling reason to do so most likely you won’t. Example, if someone was unemployed where they are desperate for money they will be more likely to try hard to start that business of some sort versus someone who has like a cushy stable job without fear that if they don’t get that business running then they won’t eat for the day.
Keep in mind too that everyone makes different life choices that would obviously alter to what extent they can be happy and energized organically in life. Example, if I was an individual that took drugs or something like that then for sure that would mess up my ability to manage my emotions. But make no mistake about it. Just because a person like me isn’t lonely in the needy/depressed way doesn’t mean we don’t actually need to say find love. Like for myself I just manage my emotions efficiently to not fall into that rabbit hole of desperation per se.
Hopefully those examples make it a little clearer. It should help you better understand how to approach a person like me too and not to take non-initiative as like a sign that they are positively disinterested in a relationship period.