Divulging Into The Conversation of A Pisces Having A Wall or Guard Up
One topic that has come up frequently is that a person like me normally has huge walls up in the beginning which many would say that means it is impossible to get inside. Therefore, isn’t it impossible to get to know a person with this personality type as technically you can’t even speak with them if there is a wall in between you and them?
Speaking for myself, I think there is a misconception about the whole notion of having a guard up in general. For me, having a guard or wall up still gives you virtually the same type of opportunity as everyone else to try and get to know the person despite the guard. It would be like asking, is there any point in going to meet say the leader of a country even though he is going to be behind several inches of bullet proof glass because that is simply the security’s protocol for unknown people? To me it would be a yes as the circumstance doesn’t take away the opportunity to get to know one another.
Whenever people talk about having a guard up though they make it sound more like a person who always has their hands up ready to punch the other while refusing to speak. In that case I would say it is kind of pointless. I wouldn’t really call that as having a guard up as opposed to being in fear which is completely different.
Let’s first try and understand why the guard is up in the first place. I have often heard the saying on how when we are born we only have two natural fears. One would be the fear of falling and the other is apparently loud noises. Everything else like having a fear of spiders is apparently a learnt behavior. How much “guard” one has is kind of similar I feel.
I would attest my guard to being like a high tech garden maze for people as opposed to say a solid wall. Everyone gets the same opportunity to enter the initial zone and enjoy the offers. Depending on your actions and information that I know about you different doors leading to different paths will open. I use the word high tech because it is all non-intrusive methods to scan for known incompatibilities based on experience. Imagine it like walking through a metal detector at a store. Just like a metal detector too, sometimes there are false positives which requires further investigating.
But overall, the mindset of the guard for me isn’t that I am trying to trap you in anyway. You will just end up going in circles in a particular garden zone if you seem to exhibit too many questionable behaviors. Like a metal detector in a store too, at some point in time it was known that people concealed weapons and used it to harm people. Therefore, precautions were put in place. Or it could be to help stop people from stealing from it. Of course no business wants to operate in a constant paranoid state of mind to the point where they annoy customers by having intimidating guards and dogs at the front entrance. That mindset is kind of the same for me when it comes to people. Essentially, my mindset is designed to be welcoming but at the same time based on my experiences in life I have security measures in place to try and allow only the authentic people into the deeper zones.
If you think about that too, because you understand why a store would have something like that you don’t mind and it wouldn’t stop you from say shopping there correct? I think the same should be applied to a person that you are trying to get to know on a deeper level who seems to have a big guard up. Instead of focusing on how to bypass this guard just try and open up your mind as to why the person has these guards in the first place.
That is why even for myself, regardless of who I meet I am always fascinated in genuinely learning about their story. Doesn’t matter if it is someone who is extremely defensive, extremely shy or even extremely angry. Instead of fighting to change that I simply offer my genuine desire to understand why it is the way it is which usually generates a positive result I have found.