Hi there, I have been dating this pisces man. He’s 33 and I’m 23. I’ve grown to love him, I didn’t love him at the begining but now I do. We’ve been dating for a year and 6 months now. But just a month ago, I sent him a text telling him how much I love him and how thankful I am to have him in my life and he text back saying ‘stop talking rubbish’. With anger I told him to never call or text me again. Few days later,I was the one to do exactly that.
Everything was well before I told him how I felt but after telling him things changed. No more texts or calls from him since then. And when I call or text, he doesn’t respond. Until one day I text him and told him that I want to talk to him and he responded saying ‘do you want to tell me more lies?’ I got confused because I didn’t know what he was talking about. Went to his place unannounced. I got there and he ignored me,he didn’t even want to look at me. It got late and I called a taxi to come pick me up and he said he’ll take me home the next day.
The whole night he ignored me, he even slept on coach and I in bed. Still in the morning he didn’t want to talk to me.I tried to reach out to him and he told me he doesn’t want to talk. From last last he had been saying that until I decided to leave. He gave me taxi money and I left. Should I keep hoping that we’ll come around? Its now a month,no word from him. Does he still love me or should I just move on? I love him and don’t know what to do or think. Please help me out…please. I tried everything in my power but its not working instead its like I’m making things worse.
The history of your interactions together kind of plays an important role in determining what happened which is kind of missing here. Therefore, I have to make a lot of assumptions as to why he reacted the way he did when you sent him that text message saying you love him. A person like me wouldn’t just “change” because of those three words if you both have truly been dating happily for like a year and six months as you say.
Generally speaking it sounds like you did something that made him not trust you awhile ago. As a result, he didn’t directly say anything about it. Instead, he continued with the relationship to analyze and tally up everything else that he didn’t feel was genuine about you to try and make a decisive conclusion. Because you haven’t done anything to change his mind on the matter, when you told him that you loved him it’s like an insult of his intelligence as he feels that he sees right through you.
I am going to create a fictional scenario that actually may be very common to hopefully make the point even clearer. Imagine you met this guy through an online dating site where you both obviously have dating profiles. You feel there was something there and so you established a relationship. He then deletes his profile and assume you did the same.
One day he saw you glued to your phone or computer as you were answering messages. Through the corner of his eyes he saw that you were responding to messages from that same dating site. Now to you it may have been nothing. But to him it is like a sign of in-authenticity. This got him curious to check your profile each day to see if you were active. Sure enough, the site seemed to have indicated that you are fairly active.
So in his mind now you can’t truly love him as this is like an indication that you are still keeping your options opened for other men. He then continues the relationship with you to see if you will voluntarily fess up per se in an organic way. While he has that doubt about you that he would never just outright say, the ideal scenario would have been one day you just decided to show him your dating profile to show the types of funny responses you were still getting. This would then internally be a sigh of relief for him as he now better understands your intentions for keeping the profile up. It is then at that moment he would then probably give you subtle hints that he isn’t comfortable with that and ask you things like how you should close it down.
Without that, everything you do is like under a microscope. Example, if there was a situation where you were able to help somebody and you chose to help the friend instead of him then that just further adds to the mindset on how you don’t truly care for him. So again, because he hasn’t seen or felt anything different to make him think otherwise one just believes you are like a liar while using this long process as a way to try and make sure that is accurate. Your words don’t mean anything whereas your actions do. So you need to try and figure out what created this distrust.