So confused by pisces man

Alicia Asks:

So I met this pisces guy at work.I’m a capricorn. He was one the first people to start talking to me as I am shy at first around new people. After like 4 months he started trying to talk to me a little,more and be flirty. We ended up talking about our relationship situations one day and we both had alot in common with that both being emotional abusive relationships. I asked him if he wanted to hang out after work one day and he said yeah and,took my number but did not call till after he was out of his relationship. Then we hung out and he was all over me but I did not have sex with him.

He always said how beautiful I was and could tell I was good girl. So the day after his birthday he texted me and said he needed me so I met him and he was messed up cuz he has been struggling with a drug. I was worried so I met him and ended up sleeping with him it went on like all day and he started crying and telling me all his secrets. He started talking in what’s its and stuff like he was putting himself in my life and,future.

After that day he called me everyday about 4 times a day for 4 days we had made plans for the weekend then the weekend came and he said he was so tired from the comedown(of the drug I guess) so I didn’t hear from him for a few days then he called,me again and was sober and we met up and had sex and right after he started telling me he didn’t want to this anymore..asked me not to be mad at him I told him I would still be a friend but it did bother me he didn’t tell me before sex.

So he tried calling me again and I didn’t answere then texted me and I told him how I felt and he didn’t text back then he texted and I texted him back and told him I’m in the process of moving and in not playing these games anymore cuz I had feelings for him. He called me right away and had to see me so I talked to him he asked me what we should do I said just take it slow and enjoy being around each other but no games. We didnt have to be serious cuz he has alot going on.

He said he liked me and was cool with that so we made up and had sex. Then he starts calling everyday like 3 times again and asking me if I have,moved all my stuff out of my ex’s and offers to help me if I needed help and of course sex talk. So the other day we saw each other after he got off and he got cranky right after we had,sex and said we couldn’t have,sex anymore because if we did he want to be around me more and saying stuff about feelings growing.

And he didn’t want to hurt me. I was like what the he’ll we just talked about this and now you are doing this again. He asked if I left my boyfriend because,if him I said yeah and he was like no why u just ruined your,life because of me he said he had feelings for,me but if we kept sleeping together he would want a normal relationship which I said is fine and he said no cuz he just got out of one a month ago. Then said he would call me still and,we,could be,friends. I don’t understand this when we have sex he’s so passionate and uses the word,love then right after sex he decides he doesnt want to anymore

Oh and I forgot to add another thing he says is he needs to get right..stay sober which I was trying to help with because I was addicted before but got clean which I understand but I also know it helps when someone is by your side and doesn’t judge u and is just there to help but he like he won’t let me help. My thing is I told him once no more games cuz I had feelings and he agreed he would never do that again and then he does it again. He has sent me text before saying thank you for being there for me and I’m amazing in every way but is just really good at fooling me cuz he wanted to keep sleeping with me to were he would call so much or does he really care and is doing this cuz he thinks its best for me

Alicia,

From what you wrote this doesn’t feel like a complicated personality trait question but rather it sounds more like a conventional addiction type of scenario. In that sense it doesn’t seem confusing to me personally where in my view he basically has an issue that he hasn’t really dealt with straight on where things like the sex he has with you is more of a way to mask his issues emotionally because it is in a sense like a drug.

This makes perfect sense to me about the sex scenario too and how you find it’s confusing that he is so passionate during the moment then right after it is completely different. Again, think of it like a drug. It makes perfect sense in that regards. I think the important point to consider here too which is creating your confusion is that you need to remember that you are not him. So having the mentality that if you do exactly for him what you did for yourself to get out of an addiction will solve everything you may be disappointed as that is not always the case. That’s when you may want to get him some additional help instead as an example.

You can change this scenario to anything else in life and it would share similar traits and circumstances to what you are describing.