We hit it off well and then he disappeared…

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  • #2574
    slr
    Participant

    There’s a guy who I talked/briefly dated back when I was a freshman in college 11 years ago. We hit it off well but I wasn’t ready for a relationship. If I was we probably would’ve been together to this day. Fast forward we recently reconnected and hit it off really well again. He was engaged and they broke it off maybe a month or two before he contacted me. Even reassured me that they were not getting back together. It was like we picked up where we left off. Talked for hours on the phone and everything. He lives 4 hours away and we talked about me coming out there for a weekend. I went out there last month and had a great time. We both enjoyed the others company. We were consistently talking until last week. I know he’s been busy with work and even mentioned it being busy season for him. I haven’t heard from him in a week in a half and I was supposed to be going back to visit in a couple weeks but I don’t know what to do since I haven’t heard from him. I have my ticket and everything I’m now wondering if I should cancel it. He’s not posting on social media and I’m not blocked or anything. I also noticed that he’s not even viewing anything that I post. Should I wait around or leave it alone?

    #2580
    Alan
    Keymaster

    I think the first rule of thumb to think about is if the person was like myself and is genuinely really into you they would make the effort to find time for you in many ways. A week and a half to me would say there is more odds that you may be the “rebound” with the scenario you mentioned. If he is not viewing anything that you post either I would actually think that’s intentional in the sense of he doesn’t want you using that against him such as knowing you will be notified to then ask him why he isn’t talking to you as an example.

    That is something you could rightfully expect if the person was a colleague as an example where they get busy. But to me that doesn’t fit the bill of someone who is truly into the whole relationship here. If I were you though I think the safest thing to do is simply send a polite message asking how he is and if he needs help in anyway. That would actually tell a lot since if he is genuinely busy and assuming he is a “keep it to himself” type of person it can be comforting that someone is actually asking him to then open up to you more.

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