Cheating Pisces Man
So long story short, I had an affair with a married Pisces man. The connection I had with him was something I’ve never experienced before. We both knew before anything ever physical happened that we were attracted to each other. It’s something that unless you’ve ever experienced that you can’t explain.
Anyway, our affair lasted several months. We never had sex though and never confessed our true feelings. I think that really bothered him about me, but there was no way I could tell a married man I loved him. And I told him that would make me hold back. I didn’t want to be a homewrecker and wanted ever decision to be his. I never pushed him to cheat. But I could sense that he had deep feelings for me but was scared to say anything.
Our affair ended with him coming over one night and us almost having sex. He ended up having a male problem that prevented it from happening. I was super cool about it and never mentioned it cause I didn’t want him to be embarrassed and figured that moment wasn’t the appropriate time and place to talk about it. I do remember afterwards when we’re cuddling he said that he was going to regret not sleeping with me and that he wished I’d meet a guy. Which I thought was strange. When he left he asked me to kiss him like I might not see him again and then asked me if he was going to hear from me again. I thought he was just embarrassed about the situation knowing that Pisceses are extremely sensitive. So a few days later a text him and he replies immediately.
We had casual conversation at first and then I mentioned the night a few days before telling him I had fun. He said he was sorry that he let his head get to him. I asked him if he regretted it and he said no but feels bad for cheating. I should mention this isn’t the first time he cheated. He did it years ago and got caught. He told me that he convinced his wife to stay with him by manipulating her and saying that he’d ask her for a divorce if he ever did it again. And here we are. I never asked him to get a divorce because I didn’t want to pressure him but I did say cheating is wrong.
Anyways, our texting convo turned into talking on the phone were it ended badly. I asked him what he felt he wanted to do…keep things going with me or end it with me. He was making the whole conversation out like he had regret about what happened. He eventually said he wanted to ended it with me but that he might change his mind and come back. I was beyond hurt because we had several conversations prior to something that intimate happening about what each thinks and feels would happen. It was him who pushed to come over that night and pushed to have sex. I told him when he got there that I didn’t want to do anything but cuddle. I don’t regret anything about that night though. We both knew and had talked before that if we ever did have sex with each other that it would develop into very intense feelings for one another.
I’m just confused as to why he did it all. Why he pushed and said the things he did. I tried reaching out to him after our argument of ending things and he’s ignored me. I do miss him…everyday. But I also need closure to move on.
For me the key point is where you wrote on how he confessed to you that he has cheated on his wife before. If I am reading this correctly too he also told you specifically that he “manipulated” her into staying with him such as him telling her that if he ever cheats on her again that he will get the divorce? To me that should answer all of your questions as to why he does what he does to you I feel.
In my opinion, in many ways to me this feels like how I express that people can opt to use their deep intuitive senses for good or bad. Based on what you wrote it’s like he is using it in a bad way. Example, if what you wrote is true about what he said to his wife then he is essentially capitalizing on that forgiving and nurturing side in all of us where we want to think the best of people. Like saying if we all saw an infant baby crying on the road I am sure our natural instinct would be to help. You wouldn’t even fathom to think that baby understands that on an emotional level where it then fake cries to manipulate people to say feed him/her. In essence that is kind of what he is doing I feel.
For your specific situation it sounds like he knows he has done something bad with the cheating and all where obviously he doesn’t want it to get out. Therefore, he uses things like sorrow and pity to manipulate you not to tattle on him. Think about it. If he is willing to lie, cheat and be this deceitful to someone else what makes you think he isn’t doing that to you? How many others are there potentially?
He may have been the one pushing to talk and pushing to have sex as you say where at the same time it sounds like he got a feel as to how much he can control you emotionally. This brings an interesting point I usually talk about as even in what you wrote you assume that the person should be super sensitive and all. I often say for a person like me something is usually wrong if they are pushing for something to happen really quick. People often complain that a person like me never takes initiative which drives them crazy but that is often a good thing. It’s when a person goes fast that I would be worried. So be careful about assuming that everyone must be the same as we all have different life experiences that molded us differently.
So base this guy on the facts and not on general information I would say. To me it would all make sense as even with what you wrote it paints a pretty clear picture so far. Think about it too. Who in the right mind says something along the lines of “I want to end it with you but might change my mind and come back” if he is truly head over heels over you? To me that would mean he is taking advantage of the feelings you have for him and trying to play the cards right to cater things in his best interest.
It is your choice of course and I am simply going by what you wrote. But to me so far he is coming across as the manipulator. It’s like one of the key points on why I write here as I hope people like yourself learn that regardless if two people seem the same on a surface level the values can be completely different. Sure certain people may share similar traits and mannerism, but if the values are completely different then expect a completely different type of person as well like with anything else in life.