Ask A Pisces Man Mailbag January 31, 2012
Lots of mail to answer. Here goes.
I hope you can help me and provide some clarity for my situation with a Pisces man:
I dated this Pisces man for about 7 months (this was about 2yrs ago) and once I asked about “us” he told me how he felt and that he was not there with me. We cut ties. This past June he contacts me and we end up having a wonderful time together until my insecurities changed everything (about 3 months into our dating). Since the end of August, I have opened up my heart to him and told him repeatedly that I didn’t want to lose him. Finally, I gave it one last shot and told him via email what it was I wanted and if we could build something without other people in the picture.
Well, he started inviting me out and we ended up sleeping together. I assumed that since he took it there, that this was his nonverbal way of telling me that he was on board with what I wanted. We went out again the following weekend and again slept together. Few days after that, I hadn’t heard from him and sent him a message asking for some clarity – I mentioned that I really shouldn’t have assumed anything so I wanted to know what was up.
He didn’t reply. His silence was a sharp knife to my heart. I ended up sending him a text asking why he’s being this way and he told me that we are not right for each other and that he was sorry for hurting me. I want him in my life so I asked him to call me to clear the air so that maybe we can build upon a friendship. I am expecting his call this evening, and my question is whether or not I should continue and try to be friends?
Are Pisces men really this mean and hurtful? Did he really sleep with me just to have sex and nothing more even though he knew exactly how I felt about him? I’m wondering what it is I should say to him. Any thoughts?
The first thing that kind of confused me here was when I read you saying that you told him you wanted to build something without other people in the picture. Example, I’m not sure if you mean he say constantly hangs around three other girls as if they are all in a close relationship with him or if financially he is dependant on others and you want to see what you two can build together.
My personal view and opinion based on what I understand of the situation is that he basically wanted to take a step in life where in this case he wanted to experience certain emotions with a women. So in that sense his perspective could be more of a “Let’s see how this goes” versus “You are the one”. In many ways it’s safe to say you obviously feel more for him than he does for you.
Think of it as a situation as if you were helping a charity and needed someone else to help you too. That person always heard that helping others makes one feel good, fulfilled, etc. So it appears he commits with you in helping that charity by attending events, putting his personal money into the projects an so fourth. When you think about it he wasn’t helping the charity so much because he believed in the cause of it but rather he was trying to do this for his own curiosity. For whatever reason he doesn’t think the emotions or gratification is worth it so he starts playing a more distant role.
I personally think that is what is happening with your situation with him based on what I read. If I were you I would probably ask questions such as what is his plans for the next two years. It’s a general open ended question and if he truly wants you he will say something that involves you in it. Example, even if he is more focused on a career the answer would usually go to how it’s to say fund a new house so you two could be together for example. From there on it’s your personal choice as to whether or not you want him in your life.
Rosario Barrera Asks:
Hi there, I am happy I found your website because it comes at the perfect time for me. Obviously, I like a pisces guy from school, I go to college in New York City, and I really think he may like me as well. The only problem is that he’s extremely shy. My friend has a few classes with him and she’s said that he’s cut class in order to avoid speaking in class. We know this because the same days he’s missed class we’ve seen him walking around on campus. This semester he’s shown up at the same places I’ve been (near my classroom) when his is on the same floor but on the other side of it. When I see him in the hallway he won’t give me eye contact, instead he’ll immediately put his head down. When he does give me eye contact he keeps his eyes on me and I feel intimidated and look away first. We’ve spoken a few times and he’s only kept the conversation going once. Last time we spoke was over email and I asked him if were okay to ask him a question; since he said yes I did. I asked him if it were okay to get to know him better. He’s never responded me since that. The first time I saw him on campus after that he couldn’t give me eye contact and looked down but I noticed he smiled. My friend says I’m not over analyzing the situation and he could like me but is so shy to do anything about it. As a pisces man, what do you think?
I think in this case asking if you could get to know him better is a terrifying thought for him I bet. The funny thing is he probably gets the hint that you like him but it’s up to you to grab him as his fear of rejection and potential humiliation is probably off the charts.
The key is to simply relate. Start talking about things that you think he is interested in. Get his opinions and feedback. Trying to remember for myself for example when I was at the epitome of shyness, a girl asking me permission to talk about things is actually more terrifying than just asking it. Reason being is that it puts us in situation where it’s like you are evaluating us and so our whole perspective changes. It’s no different than people talking naturally in a conversation but as soon as you tell them cameras are rolling they get scared and self conscience.
I am a Leo woman in love with a pisces man. Im a sophmore in college and have known him since 11th grade. Dated in the 12th grade, went to prom together..etc. I guess you can say we were high school sweethearts. We have been on and off throughout the years..not because of cheating but because everytime it gets serious he runs. Not literally but he jumps back and says he isn’t ready. This has happened many of times and it takes an emotional toll on my heart each time.
He has said he loves me many of times before but like I said its like he gets scared and says he isn’t ready and has his music and career to handle…etc. I have been one woman that has stuck by his side through everything and he can vouch that. It has been times where we just said we were done with each other and it looked that way but he always comes back into my life apologizing and everything. We came to a point where we said we can’t live without having each other and then whem we tried seeing other people and it never worked. We could only think about one another. I love him so much but I just want to know if he feels the same? Why is it he hates when I’m with others, jealous and all but its like he is too scared to just be with me?
This one is a little bit tricky as there are more factors that will play a role which I am not sure of such as just how well his career is at the moment. By the sounds of it though it seems like he feels a little worthless as financially he can’t build the life that he wants with you. So there is a conflict there where it’s not so much that he isn’t ready but rather he thinks with how good you two seem to be it deserves a certain lifestyle which he can’t sustain.
If my assumption is accurate, then this is completely subjective but is ultimately up to you. The simple solution I say to see if that is the case is to get more in-touch or involved with his career life. Again, I don’t know the exact details but when I mean get involved it would actually be helping him with ideas or labour help to get things going. Because if it is a case of his career not being where he wants it to be to provide the things that he wants and right now the role is you are doing your own thing while he does his it’s more of a struggle to keep up. Especially if you are more well off at the moment.
Again, I say this is subjective as I know everyone is different as some people believe couples should already be at a good place individually and when you get together it’s even better whereas some say it’s all about building something together at the start. To me personally this explains things like the jealousy part too if he sees you with others as again it’s like you do have the ability to do things that he can’t, so to speak, where it’s like he wants to be the one that makes you happy in those ways.
Ive been working with a Pisces man.
He initially showed interest to get to know me and went out of his way to help me out in my work and still does. But its all professionally restricted.
He does flirt and give me those looks as if hes interested in me, but never calls/texts on the weekends though he has my number ever since he got to know me.
And I really dont understand whats going on.
As ive fallen for his charm entirely now!
Does he like me or is he just being helpful?
There is not much for me to go on here. But the general thing I always say is that if they start asking you questions in an effort to learn more about you then they are interested to a certain extent. That is really the key. It’s not so much about going out of one’s way to help you but rather going out of one’s way to try and learn more about you. And by that I don’t mean trying to get your personal information like your social security number. I’d be running the other way if that was the case.
Like for myself I usually go out of my way to help people in a work setting. It mainly just means that I respect what I do and the people I work with as I value everything. Speaking for myself, if that was me and you gave me your number I would probably not call you for personal reasons even if I was interested. A person like myself is way too reserved to just open up ourselves like that as you have to break down a wall first.
Easiest ways to find out are the activity invites I say. Find something you know he would love and invite him to it. How he reacts to that will determine a lot.
I’ve been together with my Pisces boyfriend for almost 8 months. I’m a capricorn by the way. We’ve always been long distance, but we always found the time to see each other at least 5-6 days every month. During our 5th month mark though, my boyfriend told me that he had been seeing someone else. I was devastated of course, but I believed that he still loved me. In fact, he told me he still loved me, but that the distance was hard for him. I fought hard for him and after 2 months, he broke off contact with the other girl, and came back to me. His best friend told me that he tested my boyfriend, to see how loyal he was to me, and that he passed the test. But after that incident, it seemed that my boyfriend was always trying to push me away. Sometimes, he would ignore me, yell at me, then disappear for a few days.
After I gave him space for a few days, he would always come back to me, telling me how sorry he was and that he never meant anything he said. What I can’t understand is that it’s happening more often now. A day before my last trip, he told me he wanted to break up with me. But when i reached and saw him, he couldn’t take it anymore and apologized for hurting me. He promised me that no matter how many promises he had broken, he will always keep the promise of loving me and never leaving me. A week after that trip, he texted me saying that he wanted to break up again. This time, he said a lot of things to hurt me. But when I ignored him, he would text me and say that he wanted to be friends only. I agreed to that and texted him normally.
One day, he texted me and he said “I still love you. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t push you away. And no, I don’t know why I’m doing this”. Usually, when he admits this, he would apologize then return to normal again, but this time, after thinking, he said that he’ll stick with his decision to leave me. Oddly though, through his text, I can tell that he still loves me, and that he doesn’t want to leave me. He kept telling me that he won’t leave me, although I don’t know if he meant as a friend or as my boyfriend.
I love him very much though, I’ve never thought of leaving him, never raised my voice against him, or deliberately fought with him. I’ve been really patient with him, hoping that he’ll recognize his feelings for me, but it’s really hard when he keeps changing his mind. Do you have any advice on what I can do to help him feel more secure? I have a feeling it’s because of the distance between us, although we’ve planned for me to move in with him in 5 more months. He’s also worried about my health, and that I’ll leave him once I move in with him. Is there anyway I can make him realize that he still loves me or that I can make him feel less afraid to love me? I would really appreciate any help. Thank you so much in advance 🙂
To me it sounds like he is undisciplined in handling his emotions and has never found that outlet in his life to focus his excess energy on. Instead, this outlet is coming in the form of arguments and battles with you with the main reason it seems that he is continually doing is that in the end he still has what he wants. Example, it’s like a guy that is so angry for whatever reason and in response to it he breaks a window. For some reason the window repairs itself each day and so again he breaks it every time he is mad. If he knew breaking that window would mean it is gone forever as it costs one million dollars odds are he wouldn’t do it. Like that you could just sit there and hope after breaking the glass a thousand times they will realize it is bad. Or you could do something to show them bad things happen when you do that.
I guess with that in mind it comes down to how much are you willing to tolerate as there should be a point where like a child they have to see that making bad decisions can result in something permanent. This truly is more of a personal topic for himself as I don’t really know anything about him. Just trying to think where if that was me and assuming what I said is correct then what could help is that you give him goals to earn your love.
Sound weird? Basically, you say you plan to move in together for example because of the distance. Outline something that needs to be done to make it a reality where he needs to be involved in it. A stereotypical example is if you need $500 a month then he needs to find a way to earn $250. In my opinion it works in two folds where it gives him something to focus his energy on and at the same time it’s a commitment to the relationship of sort if he actually follows through. With that too one can look at themselves to see how truthful they are to relationship.
This is a long one!
I came across your site by asking the question “How do you know if a Pisces man likes you?” on Google. After reading your post, a handful of responses you gave, and a few other posts that you have written in the “Personality and Mindset” category, I am persuaded to believe that you might be able to give me sound advice in a situation I have come into with (I am believing) a Pisces man (he told me his birthday’s in March; reading about the Pieces sign I am persuaded that he is one).
After a short work day I decided to head to the university library to get some studying done for upcoming finals. After setting my books down I headed to the computers to quickly check my email. The computer area is a large room filled with computers (and that evening, a full room of students), so as the computer loaded up I glanced around the room out to take in the buzzing environment. In the process I glance over this guy, who happened to catch my eyes. I recognized him from our high school (he graduated a year before I did, eight years ago), but unsure of whether or not he recognized me I did not pause and look back at him. Instead I finished my scan of the crowd and turned back to the computer. In less than a minute I hear him say “hi” to me. I forget if he used my name, but I recognized his voice, so I turned to him. We ended up talking for an hour, and I never checked my email.
Before I get in to what went on in that hour I’ll give you my summary of him. I remember him as quiet, friendly, and polite guy with bright and deep eyes. Handsome, yes, but his unintentional goofy way about him (his height and lanky build assist in this, I believe) set him apart from the popular studs of campus. I never got to know him; I never crossed my mind to get to know him, for my focus was elsewhere. I just remember liking him from a distance. I do remember feeling him to be a sensitive guy. To add to this, we went to a very small school; his mom was the girl’s P.E. teacher and my brother was in the same grade.
Now, for what we talked about: We greet each other and talk about our upcoming finals. Conversation turns to personal life: our family (our siblings and his mom), friends (if) we still keep in touch with from H.S., etc. In between he asks me more personal question (do I think I’ve changed, in what ways? Am I in a relationship, why not? Do I stay away from guys? What else have I been doing since H.S. What are my beliefs–we had gone to a religious school). He also opens up quite a bit. He tells me what I think to be personal issues (past girlfriend, medication issues from major surgery).
He also mentions that he has a baby son, and talks about his ex-girlfriend not being who he would like her to be. There’s more we talked about, but one way of expressing what I felt of our conversation is “odd”. See, we crossed paths at the same library a couple of years ago, but our conversation was simply one of surface information, and much shorter! I felt like he was trying to get me to open up, but I am one to have to think about what I want to say, so I wasn’t able to give him quick responses. He would ask his question, but then, seeing me pause he would blurt out that I didn’t need to answer if I didn’t want to. I was fascinated by his questions because, to me, they were deep and personal. They were topics that I wouldn’t talk to just anyone about. Topically speaking, he opened many doors. I picture him running down a hallway opening one door after another, only pausing now and then at one, but not long enough to explore the whole room, let alone get both feet in!
I would ask him question about a situation he went through, and he would answer, seemingly, thoroughly. But, at one answer I quickly caught him saying that he didn’t want to tell his dad something, but when I asked a different way and he told me his dad’s response to the news he previously said he didn’t tell his dad. I felt like he was getting caught up in telling me about his life. There were pauses where I’d think we’d close up our conversation (part of me didn’t want the conversation to end because I liked that he was talking to me, I was fascinated by the fact that he approached me and was being so open, and because I was remembering the him I remembered in H.S., also because I was wondering if it would be possible if, and if yes, it would be good to stay in contact with each other), but he would then ask another question, or either of us would comment on a previous thought.
Well, he ends up asking me what I do for enjoyment. When I tell him that I plan to try out surfing he immediately asks if I have a board and where I planned to go. Even though I remember his family being into surfing, I didn’t mention this because I knew that. He makes suggestions that we go surfing and that his family has wetsuits and boards that, I take, he is offering me to use (one of his sister’s is a a year younger than I and has about the same body structure as I). He also makes suggestions that we should go mountain biking (something we had talked about earlier). All along I am feeling odd, but I don’t let myself scurry off. He tells me that he like talking with me and wants to hang out. Oh, and when I’d talk I feel like he was peering in to me, trying to get through me and pull something out of me. Anyhow, we eventually end up exchanging numbers with him, again, telling me to let him know whenever I want to hang out.
I will also add a bit about me: I am a Virgo. I notice myself not to be one to emotionally open up to anyone. I tend to over think pretty much everything I take seriously…to the point of missing the point or spoiling an opportunity. Also, I give great impressions of a rock: I hardly show individually directed emotion outwardly (I can be cheerful or anxious over my thoughts, but people wouldn’t know for what), so I feel that I leave people wondering what I am thinking/feeling (am I interested? Do I like them?). In our conversation I made sure to not show my excitement about getting to talk with him because even though I felt a bit uncomfortable with his openness I was getting excited about the possibilities of hanging out with him.
A bit over a week after our conversation I left him a message on the phone telling him that I mentioned him to my sister (I found out that he and my younger sister were friends during his senior year) and simply wishing him a “happy end of Fall semester” and a “Merry Christmas”. I really didn’t need to call him, but I felt so confused about what I was to do with that whole situation of him opening up to me. Did he like me? Do I like him? Does he really want to hang out? What am I to make of this? Three days later (after Christmas) he texts me with his thanks for the Christmas wish and that he came down with the flu. He ended with telling me that “we still have to go surf and ride!”.
So, with all this being written, I would like to have your perspective on this situation. Should I go ahead and hang out with him? Does he seem to be in a clingy state of being? I don’t know where he’s at emotionally. I am interested in befriending him, but does it sound like he is interested in that? My main fear is that I get emotionally entangled with him and ruin a potentially good friendship. But, is a friendship possible? We aren’t teenagers; he’s a dad (I seem to think that this fact alters his view of women…) and we’re both just past 25. What are your thoughts?
Looks like you are technically the first e-mail of 2012 I got. 🙂 Long one indeed too.
Assuming that this person has a personality like mine, I must say that is petty aggressive to just open oneself out to another person so quickly. In many ways too it feels like he already knew about your background a little bit for whatever reason. By that I mean it could be simply he knew that you were potentially interested in surfing for example which sparked his curiosity in you. I know you mentioned that you knew his family was interested in it and didn’t mention it too which is the funny thing.
You did mention too that you “crossed paths at the same library a couple of years ago, but our conversation was simply one of surface information, and much shorter!” So don’t underestimate what point about you he discovered that got him interested. Based on what you wrote it feels like he is looking for more than just friendship though in the long run. Maybe not necessarily you specifically but definitely someone with your traits at this moment. This is not true for everyone of course, but if you see that he starts to do things like in a future get together where he specifically asks you if it is okay to bring the kid along it’s not an uncommon way for people to test how okay you are if you were to be serious with them in a relationship way.
I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t say hang around with him at the moment. Let’s think of the worst case scenario where like you said you are afraid you will get emotionally entangled with him that it would ruin a friendship. Doesn’t just say avoiding him right now equal to not even opening up the possibility of friendship anyways as if it is ruined already? With that said I would think it sounds better to hangout with him and if you think he is trying to push it in a direction that you don’t want it to go that you can simply use ways to stop it.
At this immediate point the only thing we can safely conclude is that he wants to be around someone like yourself as it makes him feel good. The purpose and intent of it is something you need to explore still.
Hi Pisces guy,
I am in strange situation with this Pisces guy. I will try to make the long story short but I met this guy while travelling to Europe. We met through a mutual friend and our chemistry had been building since the first time we met. However, at that time, he was in a long distance relationship. Of course, I respected that. It turned out he had plans travelling to America (where I lived). This Pisces guy and his friends stayed over my house for a week. We talked a lot until wee morning getting to know each other. It felt great knowing he’s not trying to make a move but made the efforts to get to know me which was nice. Until a night out at a bar with other friends, we were under the influence and needless to say, we kissed. He went back home in Europe. One month later, he apologized for about what happened on that night.
Pisces guy admitted to me that a guy would be very lucky to have me. I expressed the same thing to him, however, we don’t talk as much as we used after that. Few months later, I moved to Europe in search for a job. My Pisces friend offered me to share a room with his roommate and I moved in. He was still in relationship but it was on rocks and he broke up with her. I suspected he’s talking to other woman. I am confused because I don’t know if he’s still interested in me or why is he’s talking to another woman. We still have chemistry where I find myself nervous talking to him now that we are roommates. I really wanted to express my feelings for him but I am truly confused about his intentions now that he’s talking to another woman. What can I do??
I think the simple answer in this scenario is that he at this point just doesn’t see a future with you for whatever reason. Could be your careers are conflicting, your lifestyles don’t match, etc. So despite getting along there doesn’t seem to be a reason to push for a relationship. In this scenario I think you just have to be a little more blunt and direct with him and see what his reaction is. Even though as you said you were under the influence, the fact that you two kissed gives you a good catalyst topic for example to start up the conversation.
hey! i asked you a question 3 4 months back and got a really nice reply, now i think i need some help again :p okay so we had two dates , the first one didnt go well, he asked me out for a second one the next day but i said no, coz i thought we should wait sometime before we meet up again, the second time we met , it was good, after that he started staying in touch and stuff, it was all good but i;ve started to feel he’s become distant since the new years. he asked me if i had plans for new yrs i said no coz its usually with the family, he didnt stay in touch much over the new years weekend, then apologized on monday abt how he wasnt in touch with me over the weekend, his weird acting is now too much for me. it was all ok we dont really talk for hours or text eachother so much but its usually how he is and abt his day when he’s in the office, he was texting me first always and suddenly i dont know whats wrong.
okay now im starting from first week of January, he texted me thursday if he could call me if i werent too busy and i was asleep so when i woke up i saw his text and asked him if i could call him up, he said he was heading back home from his office so he’ll text me when is good, i said oki, then he never texted or call me over the weekend , on monday morning (last week) i texted him if everything was alright coz he hasnt been in touch lately, he didnt text and called me monday evening, it was hardly a 5minutes call and told me how he was busy , his senior has gone some place for vacations so he had to do filing for him then his dad was here and stuff, i said it was alright and if he was okay, he said he was good, thanked me for asking and stuff, then next day tuesday i msged him again if i could call him, he said he wasnt home so he’ll text me when he’s back, i said oki doki and he sent back a smiley, that was the last time i heard from him, then i messaged him Saturday morning ‘hey how r u? still busy busy?ha the work load decreased yet?hope u r feeling better. enjoy ur saturday:)” and i got no replyyy 🙁
i dont know whats wrong and im not the sort of person who would just call a person up, i usually text first and see if the person is free to talk and now i dont know what i should do :/ its my first time that im seeing someone, i’ve never been out with anyone. he asked me out at a concert last year in june, i said no, he added me up on facebk, i guess u know the story i sent u or should i write it all over again??errmm, we started talking, in december he asked if we could meet up coz i said no the first couple of time he asked, i said okay, so we did. i dont know just tell me what i should do?? he did this once before when he didnt texted me for 5 days but that was when we didnt even meet, but now its like we’ve had two dates together and it was all good between us , he was nice texting calling n stuff and suddenly he’s started acting weird.
I still remember your letter from last time. Just based on what you wrote there is a possibility that he is just slammed with work right now. As well, all this texting back and fourth makes me think in some ways maybe you aren’t specifically asking him for anything which he may need as his mind is elsewhere with work at the moment. For example, if you want some time together it may be better to just ask if he is free one day as you want to say do a particular activity for example.
In some ways it sounds like he tried to connect with you too but you were unavailable. If he is just stressed and busy right now too maybe it would help to send messages where you can offer him some help. Example, something as simple as after his work invite or treat him to dinner to relieve the stress I can imagine how if a person is stressed then small chit chat and text messages can come across as a burden during those times too. Just try to find out what is specifically taking up his time and see if you can help in anyway I say to be the positive of his day.
Unless you feel the person should treat you as a priority no matter what. That of course is a personal preference.
I met a pisces man a while back while I was dating a good friend of his. He was also in a relationship at this time, but both eventually ended. We would bump into each other on nights out since we have a lot of mutual friends and we would chat, sometimes quite deeply about emotions. He would often say things like ‘people think there’s something going on between us’ and a friend once joked with him that he wanted to kiss me but he said ‘she’s my friend’s ex’ so we left it at that. Other than our nights out we never really spoke to one another except once where we messaged back and fourth on facebook for a while and eventually I asked whether he had any plans for new years; he never replied, which left me wondering why didn’t he reply?
But anyway he ended up in the same place as me and we went back to a friends house to stay over. Now by this time I had previously been sort of seeing someone else who broke it off and really hurt me, and that night of new years in this mutual friends house, me and pisces man kissed, but ended up talking about the guy that hurt me and, being a little drunk, I got quite tearful over it. He was very understanding and empathetic, and the next morning we hugged and said goodbye but he hasn’t messaged me since and I haven’t seen him out. He did say that night that he wished he’d met me before my ex/his friend. I think he feels bad over it. I have since said I didn’t like this pisces man in a romantic way (to someone else, not him, but it probably got back to him), but that’s only because I wasn’t over someone else at the time and now, having had a lot of time to reflect, I realise that I do like this pisces man and I may have thrown it all away.
So my ultimate question is this; have I ruined my chances of starting over with this pisces man and trying for a relationship with him? Because I do feel I messed him around and I don’t know how he felt about me talking about other guys in front of him. I’m unsure of how to approach the situation when I next see him again, keeping in mind that he potentially heard from someone else that I didn’t like him, so any advice on this is welcome. Are pisces hard to get back and how do I go about explaining that I do like him after all?
Thanks in advance. PS I’m a scorpio female.
From what I read there is no immediate reason why you can’t potentially start something with him. Speaking for myself, if I ever said a line like “ I wish I met you first” that means it will just require some convincing in terms of whatever doubt he has. For example, you say it might be due to the fact that you are an ex of his friend. Just to give you a more deep perspective, it could be that seeing how hurt you were he saw that these changes made you a different a person such as someone who is less trusting of others now where he doesn’t want to be with a person that doubts him every second based on what a different person did.
Even assuming he did hear that you told someone else you didn’t like him in that way, again it’s just going to require a bit more convincing. Even for myself if that was the case, in my mind I would be super sceptical about you wondering “So what exactly changed?” If this was me, I think the route I would be most comfortable with in terms of you as the girl approaching me with these circumstances would be to slowly show genuine appreciation. This can be done many ways such as writing a simple e-mail thanking him for what he did the other day and then offering to treat him to something as a sign of good gesture. From there you can gauge as to what level he wants to be involved with you at the moment and go from there. Or you can wait when you see him in person. Ultimately you get judged based on your actions. So there is no real need to explain so to speak unless he specifically asks you. You just need to show it.