Ask A Pisces Man Mailbag April 30, 2012
I’m an 18 year old Pisces girl and have developed feelings for a 21 year old online friend of mine who’s also a Pisces. He lives in another country so we only communicate via Skype. We have cybersex sometimes, which has led me to worry whether he talks to me because of what we do or because he likes my personality. And whether his compliments were genuine/truthful, and not triggered by the type of video chatting we often do. Right now, I don’t know where we stand, but I would like to be more than just his friend with benefits. How can I let him know I want more? And how can I know if he’s interested in “me”, not my body?
In my personal opinion, this situation is kind of straight forward where it’s almost like asking how do you know if someone is only after your money for example. In that sense the simplest answer is that you need to take that factor away and see if the relationship stays true as building something long lasting is more than just say physical needs. In your situation, I think a good way to test if he is simply commenting you to get what he wants physically is to bring up a subject that is dear to you and see what type of action he takes.
For example, maybe you are starting a new school path. In my view, if the person cares about you and is genuine about it they will tend to ask you more questions about it and then offer suggestions/concerns as they want to help you be as happy as you can be. Typically, if the person doesn’t care much and say is only after your body like you say they will listen but not do much other than that. Everyone is a little different of course. If you are serious in letting him know you want more you have to get semi serious and ask him the tough questions such as what is his goals in life and with you potentially for example.
A personal note too, I would say you should really consider slowing it down. I don’t know all the details of course, but meeting someone online only and then jumping into all this is a little sudden I feel. Take your time to analyze what you truly want in a person and with that everything should come naturally.
I BADLY need advice from a Pisces man. I’m crushing on this Pisces friend of mine – we knew each other since I was 4. We are 18 now. But all along our lives, we never really talked with each other; never on the phone, and EXTREMELY little in real life. Just 5 months before, we suddenly became really close friends and after few weeks, I started to feel drawn to him A LOT (I am a Cancer woman).
He would joke around and make me laugh and also laugh with me (but hey, he would do that with others too). I asked him to teach me Modern Warfare 3. And he did. Ha-ha. I would try to show him signs (very weak ones though, by holding his gaze and smiling). One night, me and some of my friends were at his place. Later, everyone (except him) decided to walk to this other girl’s house (who lives 5 mins away). I secretly ditched my friends and didn’t go. Rather I stayed back with him alone. He kept asking why I did that. “I was not in the mood,” I lied. After 10 minutes, they called me up and started screaming. I finally thought that maybe I should go. I requested him only once to come with me and he instantly agreed. We decided to take a walk. We didn’t enter right-away as we reached the front of the house. We stayed outside (in the cold), just talking, for 15 minutes or more. But the conversation was constricted within the friendzone conversation. Sometimes I’d wonder if he feels the same as I do. Sometimes I felt he did, sometimes I felt he didn’t.
After few days, for the first time that we talked over the phone and it was more than a forty minutes conversation and was going pretty good (I would joke, he would laugh and vice versa; there were also some flirty comments involved), till he suddenly said “I am a good conversationalist” – Jokingly I said “No, you are not.” – I meant it as a pure joke (It was like, I say something where I am meaning the opposite!) He started to say that he got offended and all. But I apologized RIGHT THEN on the phone and said I was kidding (he won’t believe me though; I kept wondering whether he was kidding or really meaning it). I told him that I will hang up then. He said “Nothing I say will change your mind.” I asked “What will you say? You are not accepting my apology.” Later he said, “Bye” and I hung up. I felt hurt, I will be honest.
Unfortunately, right after 5 days, we moved to this new place (a new country). Before shifting I called him up and apologized honestly. He said that he was kidding. We talked for barely 5 minutes. But he sounded normal, but not that friendly as he was before… and a little aloof. Plus, I asked his sister who said that I am being stupid by being bothered because “he doesn’t get offended that easily”.
Few days back, I was skyping with his sister who is a close friend too and asked her to hand me the phone to him too to wish him HBD. He was nice, but kinda distant yet again. We talked for barely few minutes, cause he said that he was kinda busy and apologized since he won’t be able to talk much.
Why the aloofness? I know that I will get to know what’s really going on once I return. Thinking about it right now won’t be of much use. I can’t call him up now nd talk to him much either (it will get awkward)- Rather I want to talk to him about it face-to-face, once I return after 2 months.
I REALLY like him! Please advise me how to get him back-I don’t want to lose him; I can’t. I still get bothered. I get worried. I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t. Plus, I was not the only person who would joke. He would joke too. I know he said that he was kidding. But was he lying?
What can I do to make things go back to the good old days?
I will REALLY appreciate your insight! Thank youuu
Unless I am reading it wrong it doesn’t sound like he cut ties with you or anything and that in some ways you are taking what he says and do a little too literal. In my view for example when a quiet person with an extremely reserved personality uses sarcastic remarks like pretending to be offended with what you said it can in many ways be the equivalent of someone telling you that you are funny or pretty. If this quiet person said nothing after you said that comment that would be more common to something negative as they most likely just soaked it up as an insult and instead of confronting they will bottle it up.
My personal hunch is that he is a bit scared of you now as after that last incident it seemed like he was trying to be playful in his own way and that in his view you freaked out which killed his confidence in terms of how he should/can interact with you. Almost like a guy thinking that making you a good steak and lobster meal is what would get a smile out of you to only then find out at that moment you are a vegetarian where you then go off on him on how it’s wrong to eat meat and such.
In my opinion based on what I read he still likes you as a person. Just take it easy and enjoy each other’s company as he needs to rebuild his confidence with you. Example, go own him in Modern Warfare 3 or something and have some fun. 🙂
Bianca Brown Asks:
Hey my message got cut off and erased so here I go again. I’m a cancer women falling for my pisces boss. I’m 24 and he recently turned 28 I’m so confused as to if he truely likes me. Everyday he gazes into my eyes and tell me how beautiful I look he would always stare at me from afar and I’m a cancer so I can sense it causing us to lock eyes all the time its like we are speaking through our eyes.. he touch is so gentle and he shows interest by asking me about my personal life like my interest and such. He has the tendency to float around me often and gets very protective when males come around me. He winked his eye at me for the first time the other day idk if it was because I got promoted or because he likes me. Then however he gives me mixed signals like being distant and moody… once I. Was having a bad day and took it out on him andive never seen him so upset it was like we were an couple. I keep him balanced at work a lot of times and calms him down. Help I need to know if he likes me before I tell him how I feel. I can’t stop thinking of him and sometimes I can still his presence een when he isn’t around.
It’s kind of interesting that you say you had a bad day and took it out on him as if you were a couple after. Based on what you wrote it feels like a situation where at the moment it is more about a relationship of convenience where it’s as you say if he is in a bad mood you are there or vice versa at the workplace. Therefore, the closeness/bonding is developing more because you two seem to be around each other so much. I say it is kind of similar to like say two people working in a film together for so long where feelings are developed eventually.
If my assumption is true for him in this case then I would say this relationship is completely open ended at this point where the path can go in any direction. He obviously feels for you in many ways but he himself doesn’t know where this is going or can go I say. Thinking if that was me I would say the best way for you to get him to say whether or not he likes you is that you need to think of a way to help an obstacle he is having. Example, maybe he pays too much for something and then you gave him a great way to save time and money.
I say that because in my mind it’s a way for him to see/imagine how you would be like with him you are experiencing hard times in a real relationship. If it works out then that opens the door where he would say “Okay, it’s my turn to try and help you and see how appreciative you are of it.” Just try not be pushy about it.
I met a pisces man not that long ago. We sort of met through a friend of his. I am a cancer and I felt such a strong, instant connection with him. Within only a week I felt almost as though this was someone I wanted to spend my life with. There were some issues because I was sort of with his friend, on a sexual level, once before meeting or talking to him but that brought some issues into our new “relationship.” He did ask me to date him a couple times and I rejected that because I felt it was too soon. I now look back and wish I would have said yes. Recently we had made plans, and ever since some issues went down I’ve noticed he doesn’t speak to me as much almost as though I fight for his attention, we made a time for 9 pm and once 10:30 came I messaged him but was quite harsh. I basically was saying that I felt he didn’t care and that if he was busy he could have told me etc. He got upset and started ignoring me which led to me deleting him from where we were chatting on. Usually he calls or contacts me if something like that happens but he didn’t. I sent him a text and he responded for me to leave him alone. I have texted him multiple times apologizing and telling him how much he means to me but all he says is to leave him alone and “bye.” Now he just isn’t saying anything. I feel so at loss. I miss him terribly and don’t know how or if I can win him back!! Please help!
Oh, my. Sounds like he is gone as that is similar to what I do to people when it is “Goodbye” so to speak as I have written about before. If he thinks similar to me then as I have expressed before you saying sorry a million times won’t work. The slim chance is based on your actions in life and whether or not he values/recognizes that. Example, if this was a “Goodbye” because he think you are materialistic and greedy person then he needs to see you naturally and genuinely doing things like helping a charity consistently. Cause that stuff is harder to fake as what you say at the moment is just words.
Like in this situation my guess based on what you wrote is that he views you as not very compassionate or that you are very confrontational. So the only real way to break down that wall he has for you now is that he needs to see you say go through a challenging time and how you deal with it and whether or not he agrees with it. It’s one of those things where you can’t change people too. So if his idea of compassion is you helping a baby yet you detest kids then this is going to end up stressing you forever. If what you do naturally and how you are doesn’t suit him in his opinion then I think it’s better to move on and take it as a lesson. Anything is possible of course, but how much is too much in terms of convincing is up to you.
Ok I cannot believe I’m doing this… But maybe a GUY insight would be great. I don’t think only the sign of the person dictates their personality but this guy is a pisces- a workaholic (like me- who’s a cancer), sweet, charmer. Heck I know we have a lot of commons. I also know we both like each other- both scare each other- I’m a commitment phobe- so is he- I got drunk one night and broke down. Honesty is pretty clear with us: we call each other out when we both see indescrepencies in each other. We read each others mind. So here’s the obvious help I need.
Recently we got drunk together and he tells me his life plan he’s leaving in a few years(first it was 2 years few days later it was 3 years seems to be Incrementing) early retirement (I’m 28 he’s 42) cool guy who honestly is ambitious as I am. Tells me his normal girl would be dumb/slutty just plain easy to dump– I laugh I get where he’s coming from as I have stayed away from relationships for the past few years. Point is he says I scare the living shit out of him but he wants to continue with me. Why?! And reason we didn’t finish speaking about is for the simple reason we passed out.
He has got 5 companies and when we talk no time for me but we talk every day then few days later makes time for me even wants me to stay all day, when I know he’s got a ton of work to do. Hes got a few members in the hospital and im the first to hear about it.. I get all the personal stories. But just wish you could point out the obvious that I can’t see. I don’t want to change him I like him as he is.. Just wish I knew what hes scared off and even with my commitment issues I still break my own rules to see him. Ok go for it and lay it on me. Thanks!
In my opinion, he is scared based on his experience with women. Of course this is all just based on a few paragraphs you wrote, but to me the clear message is he is scared in a sense that he is falling for you in a way and that each day you are getting closer and closer to him. In his views too love will never work for him to a certain extent I guess you can say.
I say that because that comment about the “dumb/slutty” is a jab yet real thought he feels I say on how most women he meets simply wouldn’t work for him and he has semi surrendered to that fact. Example, he feels they are all goldiggers or people that think their looks will get them everything. So the fact that he feels you are so admirable to him in many ways scares the living daylights out of him.
A stereotypical example just to get the point across think of it as a beautiful women where literally every guy who is like a bodybuilder she as ever met just wants sex with her and other than that they are muscle-heads. Even when she has given them a chance to show otherwise it always ended up that way. So eventually she hangs around with a guy that fits that look/profile but he just doesn’t seem like those other guys. So gradually they get closer and this scares the living daylights out of her as in her mind a large part still tells her that all guys like that must be just after sex. Therefore, she says he scares her but still wants to continue.
Pretty straight forward overall though I say as it is a path he never really really expected to come and the results of the unknown is scary for many.
hey, alan i just started talk with this pices man who is 4 year older then me and it all started…
my Aries friend had taken responsibility for finding her best friend (pisces) a girlfriend so me and her were hanginng out and she texted him telling him a little bit about me and i didn’t know that she did this. We then thought about prank calling him (just for fun) and him being a smart pisces caught it that it was me. After that the weird thing he did is sent her a few pic of himself so she could show them to me even when he don’t even know me or seen me (we have never met). maybe he was joking around with her and acting to be sad but my friend started over reacting that we hurt his feeling by prank calling him and when i couldn’t take it anymore i called him from my phone to say sorry, we couldn’t call from her phone because it was her sisters phone, and this way he got my number and just so you know this all happen in one day. the next day he started texting me and flirting and i even told him that i don’t want a relationship right now and i told my friend to call him and talk with him and tell him to just be friends with me, i told her to do it because i didn’t want to hurt him. but she didn’t do that because she said that he would think i’m jealous. and she gets really quiet when i talk about the way he is flirting as if she is jealous i even asked him if he likes her and he kept say no we are buddies. i never text him first he does and he never texts more then once. once i was sad and i said i will talk to him later and then right after he texted say i like talking to you, what’s wrong, etc and i meant to say it nicely but when u text someone u don’t know they think it was mean but only you know that you where being nice so i said to him nothing is wrong so there is nothing to tell and all he said is ok and for a week he didn’t text back. then i started talking to him on april fools because that same friend wanted to fool him. he did reply and we talked again but then he started asking for my pic again and i said no try imagining how i look like and he said no i don’t want to forget it. i thought i should talk with him a clear things out, i texted saying “i have to talk to u i will call u” but i didn’t because my other friend (Scorpio)said that they both are using u and u should test to see if he calls u or texts u more then 3 times and he call once and texted once after that no text. and when we talk we talk for hours and he says really sweet things, is he using me to make my friend jealous? he had a gf who used him, is he hurt because of that? or does he not want to seem desperate? he also said that he saw a pic of me and i look like his ex but then said no he didn’t see a pic, what does that mean?? what should i do?? plzz help thank u
It felt like a maze reading that with all this texting back and fourth deal between you guys(Hope you are using an unlimited texting plan). Based on what you wrote it sounds like he is simply being laid back where he doesn’t really expect anything from this but rather he wants to see where it goes. You say they are playing a prank on him but at the same time I would say it feels like he is having fun with this in his own way as it seems like he kind of just wants some company as well.
So I personally don’t think he is trying to make your friends jealous but rather you are giving him responses that semi indicate maybe you would hang around with him and it seems like at this point he is doing it in a playful way that he knows would get a reaction out of you.
I started college in January and it was very hard to me to talk to anyone in the class because I´m very shy guy. By the way, I am homosexual but not openly. In spite of that, everything was working well until this “Piscean” guy approached to me when I was sitting on a bench.
He was very friendly and he was always trying to find an excuse to talk to me. I never paid attention to him before but someday he gave me a nice look and smiled, and I realized that he was so handsome. So I started to feel attracted to him.
We got along very well and soon I started to feel that he was my new friend. He used to hang out with a group of girls before but then he suddenly stopped doing that to be with me. I was so excited that I thought there was a possibility that he liked me too. But then he told me that he had a girlfriend, and that he has had many girlfriends before. I believed him because he is so manly and good-looking.
As the weeks passed my feelings for him got stronger and I proposed him to study together in my house. He seemed to be very enthusiastic about it.
In the night of the first day we studied together we went to sleep in different rooms of course. A couple of hours later my bedroom door got opened. It was him, he lay on my bed next to me and told me that he couldn´t sleep because there were many mosquitoes in his room. I was so happy because I thought he really wanted to spend time with me but nothing happened that night. We just slept and I got extremely disappointed.
The next morning we studied together but I was very moody because I felt so sad and frustrated. He noticed my mood and kept on asking me what was wrong with me. Then, we cooked lunch together and afterwards we took a nap together in my bed again.
After an hour he got up and I remained in bed. He tried to woke me up but I pretended to be sleeping. Then I felt his hand on my butt, and I got scared, I didn´t know what to do so I closed my eyes again. Then he touched my butt for the second time almost squeezing it and then he left the room. Shortly after that I got up and I was almost sure that he liked me, so I was happy again. The only thing that confused me were the text messages he sent to his girlfriend from my cellphone. He didn´t delete them so I could read them. He texted “I love you” and “I miss you” the whole time. It had to be real I thought.
The next week, we met again at home, and we slept together again on Monday, nothing happened. On Tuesday, he didn´t stay but promised me he would stay again on Wednesday.
On Wednesday morning he called me and told me that he wouldn´t be able to stay at home because he had to go to the gym. And I got furious for that, so when we met at college that morning I told him that it was hard to study together if he was so irresponsible and selfish.
He laughed at me and started to make me feel even more upset. He was acting like a child trying to irritate his parents. And then he confessed me that everything was a joke to see my reaction and he was planning to spend 2 days at home. He even said:”Don´t worry, I will go to your appartment to sleep with you”.
I responded that I didn´t want that, I just wanted to be constant with the study thing. But I felt so happy again because I thought that this time he was really into me.
He came in the afternoon and wanted to take a shower. The lights of the bathroom didn´t work so I told him to let the door open and that I wouldn´t look at him, I would be in the kitchen. He responded that he had no problem with me staring at him naked and that I could join him in the shower if I wanted to. I blushed and went to the kitchen and told him to stop making fun of me.
That Wednesday night at home meanwhile we were studying, I received a phone call from my mother and went to my bed to answer it. He immediately followed me and lied very close to me and started to touch my hair and my neck. I continued talking on the phone as if nothing happened. Then I hung up and he proposed to continue our reading in my bed because it was very cold.
After a couple of hours we went to sleep again together on the same bed. And I stupidly felt that this was my opportunity to take the risk. So I hugged him, he was sleeping and he didn´t do anything so I thought he didn´t have a problem with that. Then I approached the rest of my body to his back. He didn´t move and we stayed like that for a couple of minutes. Then he moved, so I put my hands on him again. He constantly moved the whole night (he moves a lot when he sleeps) and I constantly moved towards him and I even got to touch his legs with my hands and my legs, and even got to kiss him very softly on his back and arms.
I was still hugging him when he got up and went to the bathroom. When he came back he told me that he was considering going back to his bedroom because he felt that my bed was too small and he could have been disturbing me because he moved a lot. I told him that I had no problem during the night and that I had hugged him.
He asked:”Why did you hug me? and claimed that he didn´t feel anything. And I said that I did it several times so it was impossible not to feel it. He insisted he hadn´t felt anything and that he didn´t like sleeping that way. And I asked him why. He claimed that he didn´t like sleeping that way with another guy.
I got mad at him and told him that I had never had any problem with him touching me and I couldn´t understand why he disliked when I touched him. He told me that he had never touched me before. And I mentioned his hands in my butt incident and some other “incidents” when we was very “touchy”. He told me that I had misunderstood everything, that he was joking. I told him that he was making fun of me and trying to make me look like an idiot.
The next day he went back to his house and he was very weird, like melancholic or distracted.
The 3rd week, we met at college again. I spent the week in my brother´s house so we didn´t spend any night together. But we hung out at my brother´s place after class. When we were alone on the lift he started to make fun of me again and he was touching my face so I couldn´t hold it and I tried to kiss him. He got shocked and rejected me. He was speechless after that. I thought that I couldn´t be more direct. I showed him that I liked him and if he didn´t like me at all he would tell me to stop studying together the next day.
The next day he was pretty distant at the begining but then he approached to me again and acted friendly. When he said “goodbye” he told me that we should study again in my place next week.
I was super enthusiastic about it. If he was straight, he would have run away. I was convinced that he liked me in some way at least.
The next week (4rth week), he spent the night at home but he refused to sleep in my bedroom. He was friendly but a little bit more distant, when he felt unconfortable by the mosquitoes he went to sleep in the couch. When we said goodbye I told him “not to miss me so much” during the weekend as a joke and hugged him and he laughed.
We´re going to meet again tomorrow at home as usual. I would like to know what is going on here? Is he straight? Is he into me? Is he using me just to study? or maybe I have done the wrong advances? What should I do to get things clear? I need your opinion on this situation, please. Thanks!
To start off my opinion in this matter may be a little clouded as I am not gay and I would think if the person is 100% straight a lot of what you wrote is a bit too much even if it was a joke as I don’t know any straight guy that would go that far. But based on what you wrote and trying to analyze it I think the key section is the part where you say you were sleeping next to each other and hugging him where he claimed he didn’t feel anything.
It is a little counteractive for example if he is claiming you misunderstood everything yet he continues to do these physical actions to you. You would think it’s no different than a guy and a girl where if she complained that she thought his touches meant something more and he claimed she is taking it wrong that he would just stop completely to take himself away from being misunderstood. If he continues to do it in that example I would say he does like her as well as the affection he receives but saying she misunderstood is a way to maintain power/control over the situation while still getting what he wants.
I’m inclined to say that is what is happening with you. So an example is let’s just assume he is bisexual or is actually gay but is too afraid to say it. Basically, it’s like he enjoys the physical moments with you but lifestyle wise he would rather keep it under wraps and saying things like you misunderstood helps him to maintain that. To me that all makes sense with the actions I am reading based on what you wrote.
As to how to make the situation more clear, even in the guy and girl example I think it is really up to you. For example, if he is saying you misunderstood then if you have enough self control to not touch or flirt with him then seeing how he reacts will unfold a lot. Like in the above example if the girl ignores any kind of personal/physical affection and assuming what I said is true you will then see the guy become more aggressive/desperate in trying to get it. That is when I say is the time you can semi confront and be direct to get him to ask what it is that he wants or is doing.
hi Alan! So glad to find ur site, i have been reading and following ur descriptive analysis about pisces for long now,and im so much impressed coz from last 2 years im obsessed with this Pisces man who is giving me no clue as to where i stand in his life.
Well i met him on facebook 2 years back accidently,as i was trying to find a man of same name on fb,but instead bumped into him.i add him out of curiousity. Turned out that he belonged to my city but was living abroad for higher studies and then finding a job. He was suspicious of me from the start that how i got to him in the first place,he accused me of being set up by one of his female cousins(in our relegion cousin marriage is allowed) to play game with him of some sort.i assured him it was nothing like that. He was so polite, soft spoken and seemed so gentle when we talked on skype dat it took my breath away. But after 2 days of chatting for long he awkwardly confessed to me that he was engaged to someone back home where i lived. I was devastated..i couldnt speak for an hour..that time he kept on making fun of me and showed his compassion that he was sorry for me.
Anyway i decided to keep him friend just to have good chat wid a good person on net.for next 2 months while i tried to keep our conversation light he kept on asking me loads of questions, like about my family, my profession(im a surgeon) he asked me how would i treat my inlaws in future, how will i treat my husband if his income and education was lower than mine. All these sort of things, i answered him just to be polite. Then suddenly a relative of his told me that he is single and not engaged to anyone. When i asked him about it he became furious that why i interrogated about him from his family..anyway we kept on talking on skype on and off, till time iwhen i got near to give my specialising exams.naturally i got tensed and impatient with him, demanding more of his time, at that time he was silently trying to find a good job for himself,as he was unemployed and had visa problem resolved recently. When i kind of tortured him a lot like giving him 50 to 60 miscalls when he wouldnt pick my call..one day he suddenly cut all contacts with me.he deleted me from fb and skype, didnt pick his fone or ans my sms any more. I begged him , but he wouldnt listen. Just once he told me that he didnt want to do anything with me any more.
It has been more then 18 months now that he didnt speak to me again, only on some occasions like when my aunt died or my brother was shot in an incident,i informed him by sms and he called back to console me. Twice this happened also that when i constantly tried to call him he gave his fone to some female friend to answer me, i didnt get it the first time dat why there is a female voice on fone who was kind of taunting me for calling on such late hours of nite, but then he took the fone and when i asked what was that all about he said she is just a friend, and he asked me in a strange way that didnt i feel any insult for the way that girl treated me on fone.. I still didnt get him..why should i feel insulted by a stranger.
So now a month back one of his male cousin whom i used to nag a lot to tell me more about his pisces cousin told me again that my Pisces got engaged last year to a cousin. I blieved him and devasted again cried a lot, a friend of mine called pisces guy to confirm the news ,He told him that it was true and that he was sorry as he realy valued my feelings for him. When my friend asked him to tell me this himself, he refused by saying that he could not talk to me directly. Well a month of continously crying for him i found from his nephew that he is still not engaged. His friiends told me that he is not into other girls, he does not even drink and prays regularly, and very busy in making his career.
The thing here is Alan that i love him so much, im obsessed about him, i tried to date other men, like 4 or 5 guys, but no one compares to him. I feel he is my soul mate, i want to wait for ever for him. Once in starting when he was not talking to me for 6 months and i asked him why, he instead asked me that was it him or me not contacting him. I didnt understand wat he meant by it,as i tried every means to talk to him except for disappearing myself for a month or two making myself busy with other guys as he wouldnt ans my calls.
Now im so much changed for him, even in his absence i care for him.i have stopped talking and flirting with other guys. I send him every nite a msg of i love u before i sleep…
Alan i need ur insight in my life story, do u think he liked me too, or will he ever come back?what should i do to make him come back? Should i wait for him ?
This situation feels very complex. I think what confuses me most is that by the sounds of it, unless I am reading this wrong, you two have never actually met face to face. If that is the case then I think the simple answer is I feel in many ways he isn’t who you think he is. Essentially, it’s more about you wishing and hoping he is the person that you want in life as oppose to him being so.
Maybe there is a difference in culture too, but it was interesting to read the part you described how he was asking you how you would treat your husband if he made less than you and that he got uptight when you were trying to find real information about him. To me, that shows a high chance that this relationship to him is more superficial where he is gauging if it would make his lifestyle better and if so how he can make you fall for him if needed.
In general again my thoughts still hold true where if the person truly likes you and cares for you they will take the initiative to be with you. I wouldn’t say wait for him personally as it sounds like you can find someone better who would actually give you the attention and emotional need you are looking for.
Im an aquarius women who started seeing a pisces man about a month and a half ago. We really hit it off, calls and text throughout the day, how much we missed each other and wanted to be together, it was just great. He really brought me out of my shell, usually I cant TELL someone i like them I just show it but it came so natural with him. about 2 weeks ago I was over his house when I recieved news about my father in the hospital, i got really quiet and awkward. I didnt tell him about the issue I was just…quiet. My father passed away that night and I called him over and over again for support…No answer. I was ready to go to bed with tears in my eyes when I thought of calling him on private just to see if he’d answer…HE DID. I was so hurt that I didnt even speak, I just hung up! i deleted him off my phone, from facebook, from my life. i texted him telling him about my dad and how i just wanted some support and that i didnt want to hear from him ever again, no reply…
I thought about him everyday waiting for him to come back and he didnt…then just last week I was with a group of friends, we have some of the same friends, he was there and we didnt even acknowledge each other. I wanted to pull him to the side and tell him how much i missed him but i couldnt…He then calls one of my friends who he didnt realize I was with and basically tells them how he couldnt STAND me and a bunch of other really mean things that made me cry as soon as i was home alone. My friend must have told him because the next day i get a text that read “Im so sorry for disrespecting you…” I replied that it was okay and sent another text asking why he was so mad at me and all i got was “IDK”…theres been no conversation since (its been about 5days) but i miss him SO much..I just want everything to go back to normal, can i do this or is he over me?? Ive never been so comfortable with someone, He tore all my walls down! I love the way I feel when im around him and I just want him back…Please tell me how to do this…
I don’t know all the details on what exactly you two went through for him to say to his friends as you mentioned that he couldn’t stand you. In general it feels and sounds like you had other aspects in your life that he constantly was listening and consoling to where while it was tough at times he stuck with it. At the same time he probably feels that he gives more than he receives in the relationship emotionally speaking.
I wouldn’t necessarily say he is over you but rather he has obviously been unhappy for awhile with you in terms of the relationship and you deleting him off your contacts kind of gave him the technical reason to not having to be with you. For this scenario I would say the winning back solution if you are really trying for that is to try and understand what he wasn’t getting out of the relationship to make him accept you walking away.
It’s a two way street in my opinion if the guy isn’t replying to you. Just trying to put myself in that situation, I am definitely usually more quiet and reserved. I can easily imagine myself in that situation where if say everyday I gave you my attention and did what I thought made you happy and then one day as you mentioned you just go “quiet and awkward” on me. If I repeatedly asked if anything was wrong and you simply didn’t respond then it’s a natural assumption to assume whatever it is you are going through I can’t help you and so I will just stay away. It makes the guy feel like dirt too which may be why he didn’t answer your call after I say. I know it is kind of tricky too as you mentioned you had a death in a family. Does he even know about this to this date too for example? I’m not him of course, but if I was in that situation I think the best bet is that you have to explain why you were like that on that day and acknowledging how you hurt him as well as a starting point where hopefully he will tell you that himself.
Hello, I have a question to ask you. I don’t know how should I do with my close male friend, who happened to be a pisces. Our relationship are getting closer, he likes to talk to me, we can chat for hours in our room, and share our personal experience and feelings. We are from different country and happen to stay in a student hall. In less than two months, we will have to leave the student hall. He wanted to travel with me before we leave. And he told me about his future plans, which hurt me because I know that I need to go back to my own country and we seem to have no future together.
He told me that he will try his best to make me as happy as possible and he is going to miss me a lot when I leave. At first I thought he is just being kind, but he said he is not a kind person, he likes me and therefore he wants to make me happy. Even though he said he likes me, but I still think he just treat me as his close friend. All the while we are just friends, we never have any physical contact, he doesn’t touch me, not even a hug, though sometimes he touches my shoulder, to signal me.
My question is, does he likes me more than a friend? Or does he really love me? Sometimes he texted me and told me that he us thinking about me, but no more than that. But I remember him asked me whether I would give up my career in order to marry a guy , and I told him if I really love that person I would. The main obstacle between us is, if we really fall in love, it is also difficult for us to be together as we are from different country. And I can’t work in another country as a lawyer, other than my own country. I am not sure whether this fact is stopping him or not.
Or he just treats me like a friend. I dare not to ask him, because I don’t want to ruin the friendship. All I want to know is whether he really likes me as a friend only or he has something more than that. If he just treats me like a friend, then I don’t have to be so sad when I leave him. If he really loves me, then I think I will need to tell him how I feel too. But at the moment, I am really confuse. I don’t know how should I treat him. If I let him know how I feel, this may scares him away (he told me when a woman gets too close with him in a short period will scare him off); but I feel like if I don’t let him know how I feel, while he has some feelings towards me, I may regret for the rest of my life. I hope you can somehow give me some hint how he feels. Thank you.
If you are a lawyer then do I need to write a 10 page disclaimer how what I am writing here is just my opinion and personal view? 😀 Based on what you wrote, it feels like he genuinely does like you and that while in his mind it realistically won’t work out in the end due to the odds of you two being in different countries, which is why he asked the career question I say, he is willing to embrace what you two have together at this moment for what you can do. So possibly in his mind if in the end or last day all you two will get to do is kiss then he will value it. I say this based on the little but important signs such as sending you small text messages on how he misses you and usually a quiet/reserved person would be too scared to do that otherwise.
If he likes you in a relationship way you don’t need to ask bluntly in this scenario I think. In fact, I think that is counter productive. If he is like me then it’s all about action and reactions that we would want to see from you. Example, don’t ask if he likes you. Take him out or invite him to something that you know encourages being close or next to each other. Especially with the time-frame you told me, he will take initiative if it means something more to him and the scenario is setup right.
I think my only other side comment is to think rationally as in my view no one should have to give up their hopes and dreams to try and force something to work I think. And this is coming from a guy that has a dream big mentality. I know not everyone throws in a healthy dose of the factual reality at times. So just think about that too as if what I said is correct for him as well he will come out if you make the right moves on him but at the same time it may open up difficulties in the future if you two don’t realistically have a way to be with each other after.