I have an amazing boyfriend, but a Pisces man confuses me
Lo Jones Asks:
It s complicated. No judgement please.
When I (Aries) was 14/15 I joined my church youth group. There was a Pisces guy there, D, who was 4 years older. Obviously the age gap was an issue, but over the years we grew very close due to our similar interests. I was often left confused about his actual feelings towards me.
He moved away for work and got with someone else. I moved away for uni and got with my current boyfriend, (Scorpio) J. This was 4 years ago.
D has now gone on to have a son with his gf and get engaged.
I consider J an incredible guy that I love completely. I ve never gone near anyone else, nor been tempted to. He s my first everything bar kiss.
D and I have been talking on and off. I never thought much of it because we are great friends. Then on Monday, he messaged me and we ended up sexting/having cyber sex, whatever you want to call it. I didn t hear from him Tuesday so messaged him Wednesday saying I know we chat, then don t, we re busy people, but not talking after Monday night felt a bit crap. He apologised repeatedly for mixed signals, said he d just been really hectic with the training course he s been on.
I saw J yesterday and still have the strong feelings towards him that I always have.
I m so confused. I don t know if D is using me, is also confused and we should draw the line and be friends, or more…I don t know. I don t want to hurt or lose J.
Sorry this is long, but trust me, it s the short version… Thanks in advance for any advice.
This feels more like an issue of unresolved feelings that you have to be clear about for yourself. They often use the term it takes two to tangle which I think is relevant for this example. He could give you all the mixed signals that he wants in this instance where ultimately it sounds like you have the power to say no. I would go out on a limb to say J is missing something for you to in a sense be devoted to him and is something you would need to honestly address I feel. Otherwise you will always be stuck in that situation where people like J are more of a placeholder than what you truly want and I think it’s only fair for everyone to really understand things like that to make a decision that is good for all.
The age thing is a bit of a concern too though I don’t know the whole story of course and whether or not D did anything to cause this continuous confusion for you per se. But either way it’s about making sure you are completely certain for all the answers when it comes to yourself.