I thought this was an interesting phrase that some readers used, so I guess I will dive into the topic. So far I have talked a lot about my personality and why I approach things the way I do where it seems like you are going to have to be the one to take initiative first. So what exactly are the signs that people like me give back to show that we are interested in learning more about you? Again, keep in mind that I am writing all of this based on my own experiences.
I remember one example in my life where there was this girl that met me at a place I was working at. My job was to interact and help customers find products that they were looking for while educating them about it. After talking with this girl, she seemed happy and proceeded to head home. Afterwards, she comes back a few seconds later and asks if I used things like an online chat software incase she doesn’t see me again and this way she can ask me questions about new releases and so fourth. I agreed and gave her my contact.
Now here is what was going on in my mind up till that point. Generally speaking, I was working at that job because I was very enthusiastic about the things I get to do and as well it revolved around a hobby I enjoyed. So whenever I talk to people in general it doesn’t feel like work and it’s great to meet other enthusiasts. When this girl came up to me I treated her like any other customer while having fun talking about the products.
When she turned around and came back with a semi stuttering voice asking me for an online contact I immediately knew that she liked me and was interested in getting to know me better. Now here was a big clue that I gave as a way of saying “you seem like a cool person and I would be really interested in learning more about you too”. She asked for an online chat alias and I normally don’t really use those programs. So, while I did give her an alias I gave her an e-mail address as well as I told her I actually check that often. So, she smiled and then left the store.
So what happened? She didn’t send me an e-mail. What happened was that she would come back to the store to chat with me again in a semi nervous type of way. She even started to do the girl stuff such as touching her hair a lot which from my knowledge/observations meant that she is trying to grab my attention (Correct me if I’m wrong ladies).
Again, I knew that she wanted me to say ask her out or something. To give her another hint that I would be open to it, I started to ask her about her personal life such as what school she went to, the type of courses she was taking, etc. If a guy like me asks those questions then that means you can relax as there is something about you that I like. Sure enough though, she seemed to just walk away with that “Nothing is working” mentality and questioning whether or not I had any interest in her.
So here is the ultimate attempt she made in trying to get me to ask her it seems. I guess from visiting the store she generally knew when I worked. For this particular day, I am usually one of the associates that help to close the store down for my department specifically. Sure enough, she arrives about 5 minutes before the store closes saying that she was looking for something for her dad. I mentioned that we didn’t really carry that item here and that the store was closing up. So, she asked if I knew any other places around the area and I mentioned there were many.
What happened was she waited for me to show her and so right after work I walked with her as if we were shopping together I guess you could say. Unfortunately, a lot of the stores were closing too which meant she couldn’t buy the item. As a result, we just started to head our own ways in an effort to get home. However, during this walk in my mind this was partly another attempt in trying to get me to say set a date up with her as I guess that was her definition of a reassurance that I liked her.
As kind of a final hint from myself, as we were walking she started talking about her collection of her video games and I commented in a playful way how I should visit her sometime and we can have a fun match. She responded in a subtle yet enthusiastic response saying I should do that. However, I didn’t specify a date but rather I told her to let me know when she was free one day and I would be open to it. She smiled and all to it. In the end, she never followed through.
My assumption on what happened, most girls often say that when a guy doesn’t directly take initiative in those types of situations that means he has no interest in you. Therefore, in my opinion she was probably just self doubting herself all the time and eventually believing that I just thought she was a disinteresting person.
For my personality type, the ironic thing is while I may be a bit more indirect and mysterious to people when it comes to trying to find out if I like them or not, interestingly enough it is pretty evident if I don’t have any interest at all. Example, like in this scenario I wouldn’t have even asked about her background or education or even offer to give her my contact information. Just the fact that I even continued to communicate with her is a good indication already. If I start to ask you more questions too that is a really good sign to say that I feel comfortable being around you far.
If I don’t like someone too, with my personality you are just gone. No communication, I will ignore your requests and so fourth. In many ways it’s just like becoming friends with people. If you want to be friends then the both of you will be open to each other as opposed to a closed off way. The key thing is communication and whether or not the person is actively asking you questions in an effort to learn more about you. If so, they obviously like you to a certain extent to want to possibly build a relationship of some sort.
Hi Alan,
I really like what you write here. In fact, this was kind of what happened to me. Would appreciate if you could email me. I have a question to ask!
Help!
Thanks
bovary
Very interesting. I happened to be attracted to Pisceans a lot. The first person whom I approached didn’t work out for me. Total disaster cos’ I can’t read between the lines.
This second person whom I’m really interested in. I also can’t seem to read his indirect signs very well. Maybe u can help to explain…
Here’s the scenario: I asked him for his contact no. He gave me. So after a week or so…I try to call him and ask him out. But he didn’t picked up the phone. So I message him instead…setting up a lunch with him alone. But later he message back…saying that he is having lunch with someone else on another day and ask me whether do I want to join them. So is he interested or just want to be friends? I rejected his offer as I have something on on that day itself.
Before I asked him out, I was messaging him on friendster and he replies my message. But after I asked him out, he stop replying any of my messages. So is it a sign of not interested? He’s my colleague and though we do not see each other often in the work place, we still say “hi and bye” to each other. And I still approach to talk to him.
So what do you think…friends?
Bovary,
Feel free to e-mail with using the contact form. I was hoping to make a “Ask me a question” category too if your question is broad enough where you think it will help others too.
Nabully,
From reading what you wrote here is my personal interpretation:
He invited you to have lunch with him along with another person he was having lunch with. This can either mean he is very uncomfortable being around you alone or that he sincerely wanted to hang out with you and didn’t want to blow you off. Unfortunately, I don’t know the whole situation too well to really say which one it is.
However, you did say that you were messaging him on friendster and getting responses before this incident. Therefore, this leads me to believe that for whatever reason he is giving you the cold shoulder to a certain extent to be just friends. The fact that you pretty much just straight up asked him out too was the right step I’d say. Considering he didn’t follow up and started asking you out afterwards to me shows disinterest. It would be different if you didn’t bluntly ask him out.
In my opinion, this is going to turn into a “too much convincing” type of scenario and I don’t know if you are willing to do that. It’s his turn to start asking you questions and such if he is interested I’d say.
I am going crazy over here, I have been seeing this pisces for at least 3 years, he has been super supportive of anything regarding my life, I recently doubted him on a situation and he found out, the situation was not major, he alienated away from me for two months, I could not take it any longer so I reached out to him, suprisingly he did not reject me. However, after we spoke again he invited me to see him, I oblige and met up with him, everything was cool, so I went on to assume we were back to normal and fine, he started an argument with me a week after I visited him. Then invited me to see him again to discuss what I had done to him. He told me that I hurt him and he was surprised with my actions, I apologized in the sincerest way, he seemed to accept, told me we are fine and he is going to put it behind him because the siutation was not that serious. We laughed, talked and enjoyed each other, the next day he went his way and I went mine. He reached out to me the day after I left him and again a week after our last meeting. Here is the confusing part, we had one more conversation again, everything seemed fine, then, BOOM, out of no where he disappeared again!!! this time its been 2 months and he is ignoring my emails, calls and text. PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE ON WHAT YOU THINK IS GOING ON IN HIS HEAD. This is a guy who said, I am everything that any man could want, but yet he alienates. sidebar: before, I messed up and snooped behind his back, we would be good for 6 months and then he would alienate without any justifiable cause. Ia m so confused, I love him so much, my heart says wait, my mind says go, there is much more to this situation, good things, but I did not want to bore you with the details. Before anyone says he’s not interested keep in mind he persued me for a year before I accepted to go on a date with him and here we are 3 years or more in and now I love him and he is running why. He has told me that when he feels like he likes a person too much he runs and I think its bull crap. What are your thoughts! please help!!!!! thanks in advance
Shea,
Here are my two train of thoughts:
1) The first one is that in the back of his head he strongly believes that your action from before where you snooped behind his back has caused him to really think that you need to do something to reassure him that it was just an isolated incident. Words are not good enough (Regardless if he says it is okay). Therefore, you two have this game going on where he wants it to work but he is keeping his distance to see what you do.
2) The second thought is that you were a challenge before, so to speak, which was a big thrill of sort for him where people want what they can’t have. Now that you have strong feelings for him that has kind of changed. The reason I say this too is because a person with my personality type/style is not usually that aggressive in asking someone out. The fighting for love usually would come after once all the trust is there.
Possibly too, maybe you are one of the very few if not only person he has ever pursued and now that he has his doubt about whether this is right for him he wants to really think about his options while at the same time not wanting to let you go. Kind of a selfish thing in many ways.
You know him way better than me though. Personally, I think that “running away when you get too close” mentality is just a load of garbage. It’s an excuse from having to say what one truly wants to say, in my opinion. Again, if the person was like me it makes absolutely no sense too when you think about it.
Example, for myself I can be very difficult to open up as my mentality is I don’t want to open up unless I fully trust you. Therefore, it should be the other way around where if I am uncomfortable with you in some way then I want to do more activities/hobbies with you to see what you are really like. It’s only when I am not interested in you anymore where I would be afraid/unwilling to be around you.
So with the limited info I have, I’m banking on the mindset that his mind is elsewhere and that he is latching on to you just in case. I’m not implying that he is cheating as it could be anything such as a personal problem. The fact that you keep trying to contact him too is reassurance that you are still there and that he can get you back whenever he wants (figuratively speaking). Time to make him go to you to find out if he truly cares I’d say.
WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! THANK YOU SO MUCH, YOUR RESPONSE WAS SCARY, ALMOST LIKE YOU ARE SPEAKING FROM HIS MOUTH! I totally agree with everything you say 1000% and I am a Taurus, so you know we think we are always right, in this case you hit the nail on the head, I wish I could delve deeper into the situation. But, I cannot publicly, for various reasons. But wooooooooooooooooooowwwwww! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I have one more question for you, but I want to be sure its okay to ask you before I post, its pertaining to the same person and two contradictory statements he made, that has me confused. I feel sometimes when you search for answers from pisces, you leave more confused than when you first asked the question!!! I can not thank you enough! you are a GOD SEND!
Sure, feel free to ask.
Haha, Shea, I’m also a Taurus.
“In my opinion, this is going to turn into a “too much convincing” type of scenario and I don’t know if you are willing to do that. It’s his turn to start asking you questions and such if he is interested I’d say.”
Hi Alan, what does “too much convincing” type of scenario means?
I must say I don’t really know him to well either cos’ we haven’t had the opportunity to talk much. But whenever, I find the oppurtunities to get alone with him…I try to take the initiative to talk to him. And I’ve been trying to go to more group activities with him inside the group too…today, we had lunch together with some other colleagues and he asked me how was I. Good sign? hee…
No pressures…we can start being friends first. But he’s leaving his job soon…so I don’t know when I’ll see him again.
OOPs! meant to tell Nabully I am a taurus!
To you Alan, question:
He said “you are everything a man could hope for, when you come around you are a breath of fresh air, you make me so happy when you are around, when you leave its back to the bs” He said I care for you alot and I am not ever going anywhere I am right here”
The he said “I am not in love with you though, ouch!!!” what warranted that? he said that before he found out I snooped, (actually, I retract that, I think he knew I had snooped already when he said he was not in love with me) I say that because the very next day is when he put me on blast for snooping!!! go figure.
Second question: Before I snooped, why do you suspect he would alienate for months! then come back acting head over hills in love with me? When he would alienate in the past I would pay it no mind being the taurus I am I figured, “I would use reverse psychology”!! and of course he would resurface. We did everything as a couple week sleepovers, weekends, sleeping in, dinner dates alone and with friends, partied together, invited around family the whole nine yards, but yet in the mist of it all he says……..”I hope you don’t think you are my girl” ouch!!! again!!! WTH??? this man has me so confused and I have never been so attracted to anyone as I am to him! helllllllllp! I am taking your advice and falling back hoping he contacts me, but other than that I am dying!!! (not literally) but emotionally! lol! Thanks again!!!!
this story gets better….trust me… 
Nabully,
Too much convincing is like say me finding this girl super attractive and to impress her and to try and get her to talk to me I start doing the activities that she does. Likewise, it could be she always goes for these certain type of guys and then you see me trying to continually dress and act in a way simply to grab her attention in a positive way.
So I would basically be trying way too hard to convince her to be or talk with me when really it should be the efforts of both people I’d say. With my personality type it should always be if you give a little then I will give a little back to show the interest level and not just you doing all the work.
Like with that I’m sure if you persist long enough and find the right buttons to push then you can catch anyone’s heart/attention. But how long will that last too is what I would think about. If you do want to keep trying though, with my way of thinking/personality I think the way to see if he is truly interested in you in anyway in “that way” is to setup a small activity of some sort and invite him or just make sure that he knows about it indirectly.
Small event could be that you both love to watch comedy movies or say you both like to play a certain sport. Then, set something up with your existing friends that you are going to do together anyways and make sure that he knows that he is invited him to come along. If he rejects the offer like three times flat out with a lame excuse then that is a good sign to move on I’d say. People that do like you to a certain extent will make an effort to show up. Even better in this example would be he will tell you a specific day when he is available and if you could set up the activity on that that particular day.
Shea,
I must say, that sounds very cruel. Did he literally say all that sappy romantic stuff and then follow it up with a “I don’t love you” type of phrase? Maybe I am just interpreting this all wrong. Although, my personal translation of that circumstance is “You are great. When I need someone to talk to you are there. When I need someone to hug you are there. I’m so glad that we can be this close as I need someone like you to not feel empty inside. However, I wonder if there is something more out there as you’re not perfect and I don’t want to commit myself to you. I just don’t want to be alone as I have emotional needs.” Sorry, but I am gonna go back to the point where I think this is a selfish thing that he is doing.
As to my theory why he would alienate you for months, the whole exploring his options and using you as the security blanket, so to speak, is my bet at this point with what I know. It’s almost like a battery charger emotionally. Basically, he gets what he wants emotionally from you, leaves….and then when he is drained and needs more you are there in open arms for him. I don’t doubt for one second where if you ignored him he would come flying back. In many ways you can say he is taking a lot from you and not wanting to give back unless he knows that he will lose you for sure.
Thanks Alan! but last question! what should I dooooooo! I am only asking because if you knew the hold story you would understand why I am holding on, i would normally walk away by now, my mind says run! my heart says have patience, I have a correction I said he disapears for 6 months, I meant to say more like a month and a half max, he sticks around for at least 6 months at a time. This is the longest time he has not talked to me, last I spoke to him was in
June. I miss him so much. Do you have any tips or advice on winning him back, from a pisces point of view? clearly me apologizing is not working. It has been said anything worth having is worth fighting for and he is worth it. If he was not I would have given up a long time ago. I am just so hurt, you know, I think its the taurus curse of always wanting closure on things. I mean if its over do you think he will ever tell me or will he just leave me to guess??? I mean like what the hell!!!!! enough already!! I hope this is my last question!!!!! thank you sooooo much
Well, it’s kind of hard to say how you can win back someone as I don’t know to what extent we are talking about here in terms of who wronged who and to what level specifically.
As mentioned before, I’m pretty sure if you try hard enough at anything you can get it. But will it necessarily mean it will last for the long term while being what you truly want? As a semi joke, it’s like saying I can try my darnest with this car that looks so fantastic and has all of the bells and whistles. Drawback? It can only drive one block on a full tank of gas that I give it. Is it really worth all that effort for me to try and own this car and to make it work in a way that a car should? Is this car truly for me then?
Of course, this is all a personal choice in life, but I just hope I am giving you the logical way of thinking in all of this too to really think about what you really want and your direction from here on.
For me, my answer would be to enjoy life. Cause in some ways it sounds like he has you in his grasp emotionally. It is that same thrill mentality I was talking about before where when he approached you initially it was a challenge. If my theory is right, then a person like this that sees you enjoying life without him and all that will drive him nuts to want to get your exclusive attention again.
If that scenario is true too, then the only way he will tell you straight up that it is over is if for whatever reason publicly being with you can somehow affect the image that he has created of himself to others or if you hurt him bad. I’m trying to think of it from his perspective too where why would he need to change anything? It sounds like he is getting everything he wants and when he wants.
It’s easier than you think I’d say to get the answer out. If he thinks he is losing you permanently either in terms of his options to be with you or having your trust that will reveal everything.
A crazy example is that if you all of a sudden became the talk of the town I’m sure he will want to talk to you everyday for the fear of losing you if he doesn’t do anything. Another off the wall example, I’m sure if you were able to catapult his professional life where he stands to gain a lot from it that you would win him back in an instant. But is that what a relationship is about?
It’s kind of interesting about the closure thing though as from reading your comments you told me that he pretty much flat out told you that you weren’t his girl. So with the contradictory thing if that is the closure you are looking for, my way of thinking based on all I know here is that it is like how a person says that they love to hang around this millionaire (Let’s say that’s you) yet they tell you that they don’t love you. So as the outside person why do you think he/she continues to hang around?
That’s what I would really think about in your situation. While it is probably not materialistic like that example, really think about what he is getting from you. Cut off that source and then see what happens I’d say as it should work on its own.
Wow, thanks for taking so much time,that was a lot to digest, but well spoken and much appreciated. Man, they say pisces are “psychic” maybe you should look in to that to see if you are lol! because you pretty much hit the nail on the head from every angle…scary. You are the best, friend, in my head
. To be continued, I will keep you posted on any future, exciting updates on whether, I walked or not…that car scenario was funny, haha. Man you are good….talk to you soon 
Hey Allen…thank u so much for your guidements..
so you’re saying that it’s impossible to read a pisces man…
i love the mysterious way they are…but sometimes it really hurts me
there’s a guy who i like so much…i met him in a group of friends..sometimes we hang out with that group..and i receive some of his signals that he’s into me..
i’m so playfull around…so barely i don’t signal him back
in chats and Ims he seems not that interested in me…he never leaves me a message…
i’m so confused… i cant guess his feelings about me…
what do you think?! give me some advice plz…i’m so into him…
You seem to give such excellent advice, I hope you can help me…
My Pisces boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago, every day up until then he seemed so in love with me. The day after we split he called me repeatedly and begged me to see him because he couldn’t be without me, I was very apprehensive but said I was willing to see if we could make it work, the next day he seemed very upbeat but as the day progressed he finally said he couldnt do it and we broke up again.
He still calls me everyday sometimes in tears, saying he misses me and hates this, but if I give even a hint of wanting to work things out he distances again saying he doesn’t think it can work.
It all started after a couple of arguments (nothing major) I then told him I was having doubts about us (they didn’t last) he begged me not to leave him. Over the next week he distanced a lot then ended it.
Please help me, I miss him so much its killing me!!
Sarah,
Your situation seems a little too vague for me to really interpret anything. But if you are talking about chats and online messages, I think the time or quality of response is more revealing than whether or not the person actually initiates contact to show interest. Example, if you sent him a message and he replies within a day that actually shows a lot for a person with a quiet personality. Odds are he is too scared of being rejected to send you the first message. This kind goes to the point where many times you need to take initiative.
Moonchild,
While I am unsure about the extent of the argument and who decided to break up first, to me this sounds like a scenario of a “I want to mold you into my view of the perfect person and don’t want to throw away what I have made so far”. Almost reminds me of someone playing one of those online games where they spent all this time building up a character with all these collectable items but at the same time they just can’t stand the monthly fee. So, they don’t want to throw away what they built. Hence, they close the account knowing that they have 30 days to redeem it…so they jump back saying they don’t want to lose it now. When they get it back, again they think “I can’t stand these fees” and so they quit again. It goes on and on.
I guess my question for you is would this scenario be kind of similar for you too? Everyone has to dig deep I’d say on why they are latching on to something as that will provide you with all of the answers on how to proceed with something and if it makes logical sense to do so.
Alan, thank you for replying…My Pisces returned on Tuesday night begging for another chance, but your thoughts have scared me a little…he said he tried to walk away because he became so engrossed in me that the rest of his life began to fall apart, that he put me before everything, even his daughter. I told him I never asked him to do that and he said that none of it had been my fault.
He told me he tried to walk away but his heart wouldn’t let him…that I was in his head, his heart, and well everywhere! HOWEVER he did speak of one or two things he wanted to change…firstly my sleep routine (I am a total insomniac) he said he wanted me to sleep at midnight when he stays…and perhaps he could give me a little more space (something I was hinting at before the break up) he also wanted to keep argument at a minimum, but now I am worried I am just some project, he said his feelings for me scared him because he couldn’t walk away even when he tried, now he seems afraid I will leave HIM…because I had tried to get it in my head we were over…and I can’t just be right back there over night. Oh I don’t know what to think now.
Hey! What’s going on with Shea and Moonchild? I’ve gotten interested in their stories but now they haven’t posted in weeks!
You guys must come back and update us! I sure hope this is a good sign that you’ve both been able to work things out and you’re too busy with your loves to post!
Best Wishes to you both!
Hi I like ur post, very interesting altough a bit late for me to read it. well I’m a scorpio woman who also end up fall in love with a pisces man. being with him feels so amazing as he always manage bring smile and laughter in me with all his funny act and we surely have a lot of fun together but then again, the relationship between us is a bit impossible as we have 10 years gap and I don’t think he see me more than a little sister.
in the end it turn out I’m correct when he introduce me to the girl he likes and to make it worse she is also a scorpio and I know they loves each other, only matter of time before their relationship become official.
well I know very clearly that I must give up on him as the girl is better version of the scorpio woman than me so now I help him to chase her cause I want to see him happy. hopefully I make the correct decision.
So ive read this page at least 3 times…trying to figure out my pisces guy…and I thought that u actually could help me…
theres this pisces guy at work and we became really close friends…and we hang out at least 4-5 nights a week..is a groups of friends usually 4 of us..lately we have hang out day time too just the two of us….he sends me all the signals that he likes me…he know i like him….we have this weird thing between us..kinda like we talk wout even talking w some subliminal messages in the air..by music fb status stuff like that..and i asked him if it was just me and he said he felt that too…anyways…theres this new girl at work..and he knows that i dont like her bc shes always all over him..well the other night we were at his house just chilling w some friends and this girls showed up…he knew that i was upset bc i left the house to go to the gas station…i just needed some air…and i said i was gonna be back but didnt say where i was going…he texted me instantly as i left asking me if everything was ok…finally he got the message that it was bc the girl was there…i got back and he avoided the girl the whole night totally ignored her…and he came to me later that night and asked me y i was mad..if it was bc of the girl..and i didnt say anything and he said he knew it was he could read me…anyways i thought he liked me bc he was all worried about me…next day i was hangin out w the same group of people and he wasnt there we tried to call him and he never answered…next day i go to work and i found out that he went on a kinda of double date with that girl that i didnt like…..and i got really confuse…he told his roomattes to not tell me where he was..but Imean we dont have anything and nothing is stated…so he could definitely tell me wout a problem if he didnt really care for me…but he tried to hide it from me thinking that i would never find out..since than he has asked me whats wrong ..many times…and ask why i dont wanna talk to him or if im having a bad day..but the thing is that he really hurt me w this whole situation and im actually loosing all the interest forhim…but i never knew if he really cared for me..or only liked the attention that i gave him…he did somethings that seemed like he really liked me…but i dunno anymore…do u think he ever liked me…or it wass just a friend thing?
Scorpiogirl,
My personal thought on this situation is that the guy actually likes your company a lot and that you are the most openly available person to him many times. I would personally only say he liked you in a serious relationship kind of way in this scenario if he ended up doing more of the activity/hangout initiations during non conventional days while specifically wanting to be with you.
Example, both of you working one day and then hanging out at lunch time together doesn’t mean “I love you” or anything. However, if consistently during non working days it looks like he could be hanging out with say the “group” of friends and instead he asks you to hang out with him doing something else that is more of a sign of a person liking you. Basically, he is taking the initiative in wanting to be with you in a different fashion as he wants to learn more about you in a relationship way.
That kind of fits in with the scenario you gave where when he saw that you were mad about the other girl he simply ignored her in-front of you as he still wanted to keep your company/friendship and how he tried to keep it a secret from you when he did meet up with her again. With that in mind too, I’m not surprised that when you guys as the “group” tried to call him he was unavailable. Hence, kind of like what I just said above where the guy took initiative to be with the girl which is outside the realm of his regular activities/routine.
Here’s the thing though too which I‘ll thrown in as a food for thought item. Obviously, you two connect in many ways to want to hang around each other. To me, it’s just that the guy has this particular thing about women that gets him in that “Woo” mode. I don’t know the guy personally and so that can literally be anything. So the thing is, if you found out what that is then you can easily get him to become closer to you in a more serious way. But would you want to? That is up to you.
As a personal note, I think for sanity sake you should really think about the reasons you hate that other girl. Just based on what I read you told me that the main reason that you hate her is because she is always all over the guy. Remember, it takes two to tangle. If she is all over him and he allows it then in my opinion you should be more angry at him if anything. I have no doubt that he could just shut her down cold turkey to the point where she won’t even try anymore. But it’s obvious he doesn’t want that. Something to think about.
Hi AlaN, very interesting posts!
Please, can you help me too?
I’m 23 and I met this guy at school. He’s 23 too. We had the opportunity to make a school project together (with other mates). The project went on for a week or 2 and during that time he texted me often about our work, honestly, nothing really important… When the project was almost done, our group had a meeting with our tutor and in that occasion he made eye contact with me and smiled. I didn’t answer his smile because I wasn’t sure if he was smiling at me or not, since I had one friend of him right behind me… He became cold immediately witn me (I could feel it!) and I came home feeling like the one who killed his puppy! A few hours later I texted him somenthing about our project, just to “feel his mood” but he never answered it! The day of our project released he told me that he was trying to arrange a dinner for our group and I told him to let me know when and where. A few days later he texted me about the dinner, complainig that it was to hard to find the right day, according to 20 people’s schedule. The night of the dinner I went to the restorant to find nobody and I called him to discover what happend. He told me that the dinner was in another restorant, very far from where I was. Rationally I thought that he forgot to let me know about the new solution, but I was too angry to go there and I came back home. He tried to call me a couple of times but I turned off my phone. The morning after, I was much more calmer and I texted him to explain my bahaviour, but he gave me the silent treatment again. A few days later he sent me a mail about a new dinner, complete with the missing people at the first one. I told him I was in, but that dinner never took place. During the summer I tried to text him a few times but he never answered my messages.
Do you think he was interested or he’s just a weird person and I’m loosing my time thinking of him?
Thanks
Aram,
I thought his was kind of coincidental as I just posted up a reader question about eye contact which you can read for reference at http://www.piscesview.com/2009/11/21/pisces-eye-contact-and-showing-interest/
To answer your specific question I am going to have to make a lot of assumptions here to try and fill in pieces of the story such as your specific reaction to his smile. I know you mentioned that you didn’t answer it back, but that could mean anything where a person could interpret it differently such as you looking at him and then looking away abruptly, lowering/raising your eyebrow, etc.
For someone like myself to generate that kind of hostility in this type of scenario I would say that for some reason you came across as a self absorbed diva to him now, so to speak. I’m over exaggerating here, but imagine me asking for your autograph at a convention where I am a big fan of your work. However, you think I am just a waste of your time to even acknowledge and so you sway me off.
With that in mind, assuming that scenario is accurate then I would say everything like with the dinner plan arrangements were semi intentional. That’s not saying that he purposely misled you into going to the wrong place, but rather he didn’t care if you were there or not. Basically, if you phoned him ahead of time before leaving just to make sure he would have told you without a problem. He’d be doing it more as a way to mold his personal image as being nice/courteous to others so that you can’t bad mouth him. But if he can he will ignore you out of spite.
Hence, this is like a retaliation game where you ignored him in a way he took very personally and so there is a big part in him that wants to do the same to you. It is a very childish mentality in many ways I guess you can say. Again, this is assuming my assumptions are correct, but that was my immediate thoughts on how something like this can occur.
Did he like you before? I would say yes. Are you losing your time thinking of him? That’s a personal choice. My best piece of advice here is that if you are continually texting him and all because you do want to start a relationship with him, think about the personality here. I have learned in life personally that you don’t really know the person until you see how they act when they are at their worst.
Assuming what I wrote above is correct where it’s like you knocked him down pretty bad and he is retaliating, you are seeing his real personality and how he treats and deals with people. That is up to you if you want to stick at it and learn more.
Hi Alan,
I liked your discussions on pisces guys and I would appreciate if you could also help me out a bit.
P.S. its going to be a lil longer read than the previous posts but I hope it makes for an interesting one
I have known this pisces guy since 2nd year of my university when he was in his 4th year. Initially we didn’t know each other even though we had a mutual friend but I used to notice that he was always around in the same area I used to be hanging out and kinda staring my way and all. So i decided to add him on facebook. He added me but didn’t say anything as I wished that he would take the 2nd step. So after waiting like 2 days I decided to send a short message across just saying Hi and all and if he knew who I was and he replied back after like 3 days saying that yeah he knew who I was and had seen me around and stuff. I don’t remember much about our messages coz this was like 2 years ago…but I remember we did exchange a few messages on facebook and then I was like we don’t live in different parts of the world so why not just talk on Msn..and left my address there…He added me on msn promptly and we used to have good conversations on msn….He used to ask me alot of questions and such…and like always make these group events on facebook and invite me those but I never went to any….I was a little shy at that point in my life although I did initiate the contact with him….and I thought he was sort of a shy guy as well but I came to know that he used to go clubbing alot, attend parties frequently, get drunk and all….So like during one of the semesters, there was an inter university dance competition happening…he was participating in it and asked me to try out for it but being shy and all I didn’t although he did persuade a bit. Anyways so he used to have alot of dance practices and such and there he met another girl whom he started liking and at that same time I noticed he started ignoring me alot. I got the hint and stepped out although I heard that the girl already had a boyfriend and was just playing him and that he was very heartbroken after that….but he had already graduated by then and I never msged or saw him until like last year.
Last year around this time, I came on MSN around 3 am and he was on and he goes..look whose online. We started talking and we were on the relationship topic and I was like so did u find a girl and all? He said no I didn’t..help me find one. Then goes like I am sure you have some hot friends, cousins, family friends?? I don’t know but he seemed like he was too desperate to just get a girl….So I just subtly said to him that too bad you cut me off your list…and he was like…maybe you cut me off your list…and we were just quiet for a moment there….coz I wasn’t sure if he was still into me or not…and also I didn’t know if I wanted to again develop feelings for him coz I didn’t like how he ignored me in uni once he found the other girl who ultimately ditched him anyways….so we chatted for a little bit on just general stuff and then we didnt touch base until like April of this year…
It was my final year and we again started talking on msn….mainly it was me messaging and all….He likes playing the lotto every week and so do I from time to time whenever I remember to….so he proposed that we play together and I was like we need to meet in order to do that…So he said then we should and asked me when I was free and such. So I told him that my final exams were on and after that I am good to meet…During my exams, he did message me to ask how my exams were going and all. So after my exams ended, I touched base with him and let him know I was free….and then he goes I will confirm with you but he didn’t….then again we set another day…and I gave him my cell and asked him to text me to confirm….he did text me the same day we were to meet but around 11:30ish at night saying that he knew he was to meet up today but he just left a friend’s house…..I didn’t know whether he was apologizing or what….so I didn’t reply to him until like the afternoon of next day saying its ok….anyways we never met up during the summer….He always proposed to meet up but the meeting never happened….I got fed up of it and took another break…then i started full time work this sept so I got pretty caught up in my busy life…
Then in November…while at work on a friday I just texted him saying…Hey, how is it going? He didnt reply until like sat afternoon…apologizing for the delayed response and asked me how i was doing and stuff? Then over the weekend I was attending a session in Toronto for the as well as the monday of it….and I remembered he had mentioned that he worked in Toronto…So I just texted him telling him that I was in Toronto and that if I remember correctly he was working here too and asked the whereabouts of his work….So it turned out that we were actually pretty close to each otehr….and I suggested meeting up for lunch…to that he said yes we shd meet up….but said like…maybe after work coz he found that lunch time is not enough time…so I suggested Monday…and he said what about another day…and I wasn’t tehre any other day of the week….He again wouldn’t agree really…but he hadn’t said no either…So Monday came along, I don’t hear anything from him..and around late afternoon I asked him if the plans were still on and to my surprise he said yes, we will meet up and that he looked up on the map where I was located and we were pretty close…
So we met up finally after 2 years! I wasn’t nervous at all coz in my mind I was just meeting another friend but then when I saw him coming my way I was like…shit! what are we going to talk about? Coz we hardly had any face to face conversations in university as it was his last semester. We didn’t hug or anything…jsut exchanged our hellos and went to the nearest coffee place…This was at 5:30p.m. To my surprise we never had a quiet or awkward moment of silence….our conversations went smooth, talking about alot of general things….from our families to our work and all….Never really touched on the relationship topic…But he seemed more mature, he said he didn’t attend too many parties now, life after uni was a little boring, he didnt have much of a social life, etc etc…doesn’t get drunk now and all…asked me alot of questions about my work and stuff….then it was like 9 and he suggested we head out…He dropped me off to the subway station parking lot as my car was parked there….I usually wear a ring that my grandpa gave me on my ring finger so when I sat in his car…he noticed my hand and he asked me what’s up with that ring? To that I jokingly said that I was engaged and all…but he knew I was lieing…When I was leaving I thanked him for the ride and said that it was nice meeting and all…he said the same…and said we will keep in touch!
So then the next day, I couldn’t resist but text him while we were at work….he texted me back right away…and we exchanged a few texts…after like 2 days…we were on msn chatting…I msged him again…and I had a funny story to tell.about what happened at work…which he actually found pretty funny and couldn’t stop laughing and called me funny and all…then i said my bye and left…
So then Monday comes along…and I happened to be in Toronto again and it was my last day…so I texted him asking if he wanted to a grab a coffee…to which he never replied….
3 weeks pass by and just last Monday I get a text at work in the afternoon from him…saying Hey, How is it going? I was like what the hell…I replied saying that everything was good and how were things at his end….he said things r good…nothings new….so you have any plans for xmas holidays? To which I replied no not really…I have an exam to write so guess I would be studying and asked him about his plans knowing that he is a party animal…To which he goes…no no..lol not at all..no plans at all…its going to be a quiet xmas this year…so I replied saying…well that makes 2 of us…P.S. I am a little mad at u….So he was like…omgggg…why are you mad?? I told him that he didnt acknowledge my text that I sent like 2-3 weeks ago…He never replied to that….then at night..I was like see no comments on what i said..ur mean!!…He never replied still…..Then the next day at work…around lunch time I msged and asked him what he had for lunch..and to that he replied right away and we again exchanged a few texts…
Now I don’t know what’s the deal with this pisces guy…He seems like a recurring theme in my life…and nothing really comes out of it…I don’t if he likes me or not…He was very sweet when we met up…That was like one of our first real conversations and went pretty well….But I don’t know how to deal with this situation? I would like to give us a try but he sends mixed signals..I don’t know if he wants me to take the lead since he has been heartbroken in the past or he just considers me a friend.. I would appreciate if you could please provide your thoughts on it. Sorry for the long read!!!
Simple,
That looked like it took a lot of work to write. I’m going to feel bad if I don’t write a response that is equally as large. lol.
I did read everything and here are my genuine thoughts:
To me it appears that the guy is using you as his “escape” in life right now. What do I mean by “escape”? Example, what do some people do when they are stressed? They suddenly enroll into like a gym to work off the stress. What do some people do when they are mad? They go to like a park to try to walk it off or say a distant vacation. Or, if you want the more stereotypical example some guys drink a lot of beer as their “escape”.
People like that usually have issues in their closet, for a lack of a better word, and so when in need they always go to people who would appear to support them at that moment. That kind of fits in with everything that you wrote in terms of the behavior pattern in my personal view.
I guess this is entirely open to interpretation too, but a guy asking a girl to “help me find one” and then follow that up with “maybe you cut me off your list” in context of the conversation you had with him shows me that he intentionally planted seeds in you where the hope is whenever he feels like he wants you for whatever reason he can just water you a bit where a flower will grow. Then, the hope is he can pluck it whenever he wants/needs it.
So if you are like a rose right now, basically he comes by and smells it whenever he is down to give him a boost. Does that mean he likes it? Well, yeah of course if he keeps coming back. Does that mean he loves it where he goes out of his way to nurture it while wanting to have it around him at all times? Doesn’t seem like it.
Speaking for myself too, I have a more quiet personality and can’t imagine saying something like ““maybe you cut me off your list” if I was interested in pursuing a serious relation with a women or had those kinds of feelings for her. My reaction would probably be something like “What made you think that?” Basically, more of a genuine shock rather than a calculated chess match of sort.
Because if shyness was the reason for being afraid to take initiative in pursuing a relationship with you before then hearing you say something like “too bad you cut me off” would immediately make me think “Holy cow……say what? When? You mean you actually liked me too? This is so cool”. Hence, that would be followed up with probably an apology on whatever thing I did that made you feel that way.
So, my view is he is looking for a boost in life where being around like a girl is just the means to getting it at the moment I’d say. I do find it interesting that you keep bumping into him in life. It’s almost like that thought how everyone you meet in life is for a purpose.
I’m a scorpio woman and i met a pisces. He appeared to be interested in me however he stopped calling one day. I met him we spoke the entire night and into the next morning face to face. We were even in a club/bar and it was if noone was there but us. We ended up at my home. We didnt go inside. There were no sexual advances just deep conversation. He said all the right things and I really thought it was too good to be true. After leaving to get some sleep. He called five minutes later and came right back for a kiss. It was magical. I had butterflies and its never happened to me before. We spoke later that day and then I went to visit him. We talked more he inquired a lot about me as did I about him. We kissed more and I left. I called him on my way home and he was speaking to his daughter. He said he’d call me back. He never did.
He text me the next day “smile”. I text him back that I did in that very moment that he text me. He would “poke” me on facebook and comment he likes my status, but no other communication.I called him later that afternoon, no answer. I called later that evening and left a message, no response. I called that following day and no answer. Maybe I reacted to drastcally, but I dont like rejection. I felt stupid and confused because I fell so hard in only one night. I erased his phone number so I wouldnt be compelled to call him and I deleted him as a friend on facebook. He hasnt made any attempt to contact me. My phone is now disconnected which Im sure he didnt call anyway but I’ll never know. What did I do? What should I do?
Okay…So I was talking to this picses man…and I unfortunately…met him through my EX…Not the greatest of situations…But the ex and he didn’t really share time together…or even like each other that well. When we first began talking…it was really strange…because he was kind of internet abusing me…I didn’t understand why…But every time I he saw me on anyones social networking sight…he’d hone in on me like he had radar! And attack me! Say awful things…and I am not one to bite my tongue…so I gave it right back!
Well that got old…so I decided to ask him what was up…and when I did…he immediately became apologetic and said he should have never said the thing’s he had to me.
So it was as if it never even happened…which I don’t mind..I may be a pit of a push over…But he was being sooo sweet! I couldn’t stay mad! …We talked…just as friends for a few days…and then it just started taking a turn…and it was so obviously mutual…I told him he should take me out sometime…he said he didn’t know because he had met me through a friend…my ex…yeah suckage…but anyways…in the same conversation he changes his mind and asks me what I am doing the next night
I tell him I’m free…we then go to a movie together….Doesn’t seem like the best “first meeting” as he called it…He refused to cal it a date…which is cool and all..but it was a date…if it walks talks and acts like a date…its a date.
But like I said I am pretty easy going…didn’t bother me what he called…especially since I had a blast…just sitting next to this guy was like….I can’t even explain..
So he says we need to go out again when he drops me home…we continue talking…he never asks…he tells me hes conflicted…says “when I was with you…I felt amazing!”…but never tries to continue seeing me….Then begins to tell me about another girl he is seeing…
Which in normal circumstances would have really ticked me off…but he’s just such a cool dude…I wouldn’t care if I was in the friends spot…I just like being in his presence…
So then he decides to keep talking to me as a friend…and then tells me it’s not gonna work with this girl…I tell him the truth…that I’m sorry he feels hes wasted his time and what not…I genuinely like him as a person..So even though I was jealous…I wanted him to be happy
Well then we continue talking…and about twice a week his “internal” conflict becomes public…I am the public…and he is expressing it to me about me…makes me not very comfortable…but I deal…and tell him my view…That there is nothing to lose in my opinion…I can earn a great friend…or possibly more…and either way I am happy
He never makes a decision….Eventually I became fed up with the back and forth…because after he would go on about how much he was feeling…and How he has this HUGE thing for me…He would then avoid me for days on end…And when he popped back up…pretend it was never said
I told him I couldn’t be pushed back and forth in that way…and that I thought it best that we go our separate ways…It had begun to hurt me a little…And I just am not dealing with that…So as of about a week ago…He and I no longer talk at all…I miss him..But not enough to go through his emotional musical chairs…I would really just like to know what happened? Possibly, what was going through his mind in this? I took the closure I needed…But I still want to know if you have any insight…Thank you for your time!!
Sorry I forgot to add a timeline for this…It was almost 3 months…From the time we actually became friends…maybe 4 from the start of the online abuse lol…And I am a Capricorn…thank you!! <3
Sorry for the delay in responses all.
Tiffany,
I noticed you sent me a message and I gave you a response already I believe.
Birdy,
Was this seriously a relationship? This sounds more like a social club where the guy was purely using you in a way to say
“Look, I can get girls! I’m cool!” Hence, it was more for his image. Reminds me of like a person that looks so buffed up and all for image sake where in reality a simple rat would scare him.
To me that explains him attacking you behind the computer and such too as many people feel that behind the screen they can do anything. Very insecure in a high schoolish type of way I think personally. Could be he has a lot of personal problems you are unaware of too and hence he is using you as a way to lash out since it sounds like you were allowing him to before.
Can’t really say much other than it sounds like he just has some growing up to do to gain life experience while discovering what he really wants to do in life and all.
Hi Alan !!
I really like this Piscean Guy…Been friends with him for over a year..He knew I liked him sorts thats because he asked me if I did and I foolishly said a yes…He said he like me too but said he couldn’t carry on with me because he feels I’m a good girl and he’d hurt me later and lose the friend he has in me…we were still friends..but all of a sudden he started maintaining a distance from me…hardly spoke..made faces everytime…it hurt me real bad..I would cry every night just pondering over the same..thinking what bad I did to make him behave all weird…he became close to my friend…i know he considers her only a friend…he doesn’t like her much because he calls and talks a lot of bullshit…I am kind of shy..and I can judge his behaviour too…he knows that too..we never spoke for like months..we were still friends though..maybe he didn’t like the fact that I had started going out too much..partying sorts with friends…and what made me feel worse was when he actually confessed that he dislikes me..Earlier he thought of me as a decent chick but now he has hardly any respect left..he said he never thinks about me..but if he does..its always in a bad way..maybe he feels disgusted sorts…But we recently went for a trip…and he was like the sweetest to me..i am having doubts he started liking me again…he glances at me..looks at me from his corner eyes..gives me a deep sweet look…smiles..stays close…stays quiet…intensely looks at me…i look and shy away…we got a little close when he was teaching me to play cards…as in we were looking at the same set of cards….there was like a sort of connection…I don’t know what’s happening…does he like me the way I do…or he is just being a good friend ? I’m really confused..I love him a lot..Its coming close to 2 years now and I can’t get over him…I know him inside out..but just this thing confuses me about him..Please help me…I’m a Taurean girl.
Alan Yu:
There was this guy that I met in junior year in college. I really didn’t pay him too much attention to, but he paid me a lot of it. Anyways, he managed to walk with me to my car at night and finally he came out to tell me that I was pretty and asked me if I had a boyfriend. Well at the time I did, but my ex and I were on verge of breaking up. So, I finally got feed up with my ex, and the new guy out the blue asked me if I wanted to hangout, get some coffee. So we did and we also had a great conversation. We exchanged numbers that night and from there began to text and call each other. We finally got really close. So close that he introduced me to his mother, father, and other relatives. We spent a lot of time together, and I mean a lot. I would cook and afterwards we would take naps, we where so ffffaaaatttt…LOLOL. Anyways some things came up with him that I thought were unethical, and some of the stuff we did messed with my spiritual life so I began to get uncomfortable. By me being uncomfortable it made him uncomfortable and in turn caused things to turn sour. I admit, I did not handle everything right, and some things I dealt with in an immature way. So, by us being on bad term, I began to have little conversations with my ex, and my new bf found out and was very upset with me. Anyway, he called it off and said that he didn’t want anything else to do with me. I was so unset with the outcome. I tried to make things work, but he didn’t want to. It hurt so bad to have him push me off like we didn’t have anything. Anyways, time went on and I heard from him four months later and I asked him if he thought we could work things out and he got really ugly. So, I went on with my life, and it wasn’t until a new year came and he contacts me in Feb (10). We talk and text each other, so I thought it was okay to ask him if we could hangout since we hadn’t seen each other in a while. We sit aside two times and he canceled on me both time. However, it was one time out of the blue that he agreed upon seeing me, but we didn’t spend too much of that time together. I wanted to be mad but I couldn’t because I am better than that. So, his b-day is coming up and says let hangout then, and I said okay. I am excited, but I hope he doesn’t cancel on me again. I have been telling that I apologize about how things went, and wish things didn’t turn sour between us because we could have worked things out and he agrees. So now I just hope he does keep his word about the b-day thing, and I hope there is room that we can work it out. What do you think? Sidebar: He did tell me he was talking to someone, but he isn’t now, but now he says he is talking to someone else. So what do you think I should do? Should I hold my breath and push things to work out of should I just treat the outing like so random outing? Basically, should I be looking for more out of this situation?
Thanks In Advance
Iwishiknew…
Hi I’m a sagittaurius girl. And I really like this picses guy. Well text sometimes here and there and he even called me one night. It went well although I had to do a lot. of the talking…is that good? And id be quiet on purpose to let him talk first for a change and he kinda got the hint. He said things like your funny and he wants me to cook for him Hahaha, we hungout once like We haven’t hung out like a year ago, so I haven’t seen him. Since but were planning on it soon. Then we won’t talk for a week…why does he do that? Then hell text me again and he cAlled me 3 times last weekend and now he won’t text me for a while again. Do u think he thinks of me or likes me even just a lil bit? I really like him but I’m waiting for him to talk first, should I just wait and do my own thing? Or should I be the first to say something?? Or will he think I’m desperate? We have a lot in common,botoy? If you do know that has to do with anything.
I’m a sagittaurius so I hope there’s hope between us! I know picses man compatibly is poor w sagittaurius. so please let me know if there’s even hope because were opposite signs. we have a lot in common love to draw n basketball so I hope he sees a keeper in me. thanks a lot id appreciate it if you speak truthfully with the most insight u can give me on him since you guys r the same signs:)
Alan Yu,
This is the first time I’ve seen and read a post like this. You are a blessing to share your deep intuitive thoughts with all of these posts. If you don’t mind here is my story. I met my Pisces guy thru a co-worker on 12-3 10. Pisces guy FR said he was interested in meeting a Samoan woman. Little did I know MP co-worker had been telling FR about me, single good person, Samoan ect.. FR was ready to meet me. I waited and it took me a month to meet him and I tried my best to not say my name cuz I know he would of known right away it was me due to my name being unique. When I finaly told him my name he started smiling saying your the one.. your the one I’ve been waiting for, your my Samoan Queen.. I was tickled that he thought of me and had been waiting and remembered what my co-worker had discribed. I was very hesitant bcuz FR is much younger than me. We exchanged numbers anyway.. a month later he called. Since then we have been talking every since. After 2 weeks of convo We went on a nice romantic date by the water, talked and walked. Simple but very nice. We have gone on several more dates and we talked on a regular basis. He would text me in the morning or in the afternoon saying thinking of you.. He opened up slowly, now he always say’s my name repeatedly, when we talk on the phone or in person.. he say’s my name in a song that he makes up off the top of his head. I asked him, why you always saying my name?? he said I dont know? it’s sounds like a melody.. then he’ll start signing.. so cute;) I questioned myself about he’s true feelings bcuz of the age gap but when I was sick, he came right over and took care of me:) after that night I knew he truly cared. He told me he loved me after 3 months of dating. I was suprised and speechless. It’s been 5 months and we had an issue one time when I said I needed my space, valentines day.. we spent 3 days together and I got a lil overwhelmed.. he was quiet and then admitt he was hurt after not speaking for a week this was in feb, but we talked it over and we both have learned how to approach eachother when we are going tru personal issues or need our space. We both know that we are here for eachother, he gives me time and space when I need it and I respect his time and space for himself. He said he trust me with everything and I’ve notice that he has gotten more protective. Is that a natural sign that he truly cares and loves me? I believe and feel that he does.. I’ve been hurt and abuse before, It has been almost 6 years since my divorce, Now, I have met a man that shows his aprreciation for me it almost feels like a dream. He has cooked for me and my daughter, when we cuddle he loves for me to lay my head right on his chest.. or sometimes we spoon.. when I cry he kisses my tears away. Does this sounds like a Pisces man in love, or just in love with the fantasy of love? Thank you so much. sorry for this long Post. Have a blessed day!! Oh, I’m a gemini woman, but have been told that I’m a Cusp baby
( Taurus / Gemini ) so I’ve been told. 5-22 is my b-day he’s b-day is 3-9.
Thank you again Alan,
Most grateful..
This site feels like a godsend. I have been reading all of the posts and it seems like all of them are talking about the guy I am currently dating. My situation starts with us meeting from an online dating websute. I’m a virgo girl, just to start with, which I already know means we are polar opposites, and therefore have a lot of chemistry. We met and started sleeping together after only a couple of dates and Ilve never had that type of chemistry with anyone I have ever dated before. What began to trouble me was that even after almost four months of dating, spending weekends together, meeting friends, and having fun together, I still don’t know if I’m technically ‘his’. It still says he is single on facebook, even though he claims he only goes on once a week or so. He says his friends like me, that he is not seeing anyone else, and that he does things with me and tells me things he says he has never shared with ‘just anyone’. He felt hurt when I asked him about what I was to him, but the next day it was like nothing happened, and he forgave me for questioning. My fear is that I am going to be away for a few months. I’ve promised to write him, and he says it will be tough, but that he’d like for me to write and call, and he says he will be busy with work. From what I have read so far, he must be pretty into me for me to have even gotten this far. He says he wouldn’t contradict me if I introduced him as my boyfriend, but claims I am what I am to him, and that I shouldn’t worry about it. I know they hate worriers, pisceans. Does he want to stay with me, or will he drift away while I’m gone, because he can’t be alone?
Hi all,
Been a busy few weeks for me again. Okay,time to share my thoughts to hopefully help.
Dee,
I had a little trouble trying to understand the exact dynamics of your situation as it sounds like first you were talking about yourself and then another girl as you keep saying “her” all the time which confused me.
Overall it does sound a little harsh though. For example you mention that he confessed that he dislikes you? That seems pretty blunt if the person has a more timid personality. Just based on what I understand from reading this though it sounds like the main part of you that interests him is the fact that you are different from the regular people he hangs around with which is kind of thrilling to a certain extent.
Basically, you are like a rollercoaster for him when normally he only goes on ferris wheels. So once in awhile it can be a thrill, but generally for a person that isn’t that much into high adrenaline type of stuff it can be a drainer and something you wouldn’t want to be around all the time.
That is kind of what it sounds like as you mention you are the one that say goes to parties and stuff more. When you guys are back within his comfort zone area then that is when you will see him open up more which isn’t surprising. To me this also seems like one of those situation where you have to ask yourself do you really want to try and change each other so much to be compatible in more ways than one? Personal choice of course.
Iwishiknew,
Okay, my response seems very late for you as everything probably happened already. But as it is, I can tell you that I am personally almost the same way when it comes to cutting people off. Basically, if someone does something extremely bad to me I literally treat them like the plague where I want them gone from my life.
My basic thought is that you can’t change people and if you made a conscious decision to do whatever it is that you did which I found was bad then most likely you will do it again in one form another. So I would rather just not associate with the person anymore. Of course, everyone is different.
If that is the case too I would say it is time to move on from him as it will always be on the back of his mind regardless of how nice he sounds at the moment. As well, it is now an arsenal of his to use against you and to some certain extent people will use it as an immature reason to get back at you in a mean and spiteful way. Not a very healthy situation I guess you can say.
This is all just a perspective though as I don’t know the person personally. But I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it turned out that way based from the things I have seen.
sagittaurius lady,
I’m one to say if you get along then you get along. Again, I always try to write my thoughts based on experience and personality as opposed this being some kind of rule of law.
In your scenario it sounds like he likes you but not quite enough to dive into deep waters for some reason. That would kind of explain to me how he calls you but then leaves you hanging for weeks. Basically, he needs to send you messages to tell you he is still interested in being around you in some ways. It’s definitely in the friend zone right now though.
It all depends how much effort you want to put in. Actually, I remember a situation that was semi similar to this. The girl literally had to take a very aggressive approach in inviting me out to places such as bluntly telling me what her schedules were, how she was going by herself to like the movies, etc.
Like in that scenario it’s like she made me feel bad for not taking at least some time off to be with her and I would kind of do something similar such as sending her messages to be nice as a friend. With that example, it’s definitely true though where I did not want to pursue that relationship any further than a friend.
I would definitely say he does like you a little bit. As mentioned, just not enough to go into a relationship mode for whatever reason.
SWEETHANG35,
Wow, my first comment is that you sure have a lot of life experience in trying to analyze the guy immediately. Especially with the comment where you are trying to determine if he is truly in love with you or if it is a fantasy love, so to speak.
That is interesting as my first thoughts revolved around how you mentioned the guy was looking for a specific type of women and then immediately claiming you are the one. It truly did make me wonder if there was like an ulterior motive or anything.
I think the key here is to find out what his long-term vision for life in general is. Speaking for myself, with my timid personality and wanting to find “the one” as much as I would like the person to just fall from the sky I would never just immediately jump at the person saying “You are the one” without trying to learn more about you in various passive ways first. Reasons are simple as I don’t want to get hurt and when I pour out all my energy and such I want to be fairly certain that it is with the right person.
So in that sense it makes me think that this is just a fantasy for the guy. But I still think the key is the long-term thinking for him. This is excluding any love stuff he says to you. Example, what is his goal when he is older? What will he do if he is umemployed all of sudden? How big of a family does he want? If he had a million dollars what would he do with it? I know that these sound like silly personality questions, but this will clearly differentiate if the guy is truly that serious as a serious person would have at least thought about this stuff I’d say. You just need to personalize the questions a bit more with your scenario with his while bringing it up in a clever way.
If it was like a fantasy for me I would have to second guess my answers for example as oppose to it coming out naturally. It’s semi easy to improvise things on the spot like saying how beautiful someone is, but those types of questions will definitely separate the serious people to the fantasy ones.
Jennifer,
Hmmm, this is unfortunately a polar opposite of me and all the guys I have ever met in life that were like that usually only end up using one girl after another.
Course, it’s not fair for me to pre-judge the guy too much as again I don’t know him. So take my comments with a grain of salt as you know him better.
What I immediately thought here was how you two got intimate yet he still listed himself as single on the site. Then, he also gives you the “You are the only person I tell this to” routine to build trust. For my own personality, do you know how proud and happy I would be to confess my love to the women if it went that far? If the person was searching long and hard for the one while wanting to cherish it they would be happy to advertise it I’d say.
Like the saying goes, it’s not what you say but what you do that counts. To me, it’s like he is setting everything up where he can jump out at anytime if he finds something new to keep him thrilled. I mean, even the part about how he says he won’t contradict you if you tell everyone he was your boyfriend even shows signs of that. So if it didn’t work out he could like tell his friends “Yeah, that girl was all over me but I wasn’t too into her though.” A solid relationship should go both ways I’d say where the two couple are equally excited.
Why would you be the only one promising to write to him if you are away? Again, it should be equal where the guy wants to write to you too. It is a personal preference too of course. I wouldn’t be worried about the guy drifting away as opposed to trying to make sure you are certain of a person’s true colors in this scenario.
Thank you, Alan.. when my Pisces guy said I was ” the one ” it was because he had been waiting a month to meet me. My co- worker discribe me to him and I made him wait. When we did meet I didn’t tell him my name right away so when I finally did that’s when he said ” your the one I’ve waiting to meet.. I asked him why he wanted to date a certian woman of my culture he said because Samoans are very family orientated and that’s very important to him. Other types of woman he had met was all about them selves.. Things seem to have turned for the worse. After the I love you’s… I want to have children with you, I would spend a million dollars in building a shelter for homless children and their parents and helping my family.. create jobs for the youth… build an animal shelter, my Pisces guy has given me the silent treatment.. My b-day was 5-22. On 5-20 he had come over to rest after work and he got a call from a client while we were in bed. He said his feelings were hurt in the convo and said he had just laid down and only been sleep for an hour. Told the client if they wanted thier car detailed to come to the shop in the afternoon and that he would call them later. I assumed it was a woman he said it was a customer, I kinda gave him the cold shoulder bcuz why would a customer need to know personal info like that?? He surely didn’t tell her that he was in the bed with his girlfriend resting… he felt my tention and tried to hold on to my waist, and quickly yet in a soft voice said I love you in my ear.. I got out of bed and started to get dress. He asked if he could come over and give me a body rub and fix me breafast for my b-day sat morning but I said sun morning would be better since I would be getting off work and getting ready for a bar b que. He was a lil jealous a day prior 5-19 because my co-worker that introduced us we have the same exact b-day and asked me if I wanted to do a twin b-day together and I said yes.. I have not spoke to him since 5-20 2 days b4 my b-day. I called on 5-23 couldn’t leave a message for some reason when I got ready to leave a mess the call ended?? so I texted R u ok? haven’t heard from u in afew days I pray all is well. No response.. Now it is 5-26. I was so hurt that on 5-25 I put his belongings in a bag and dropped it off at his job. No one was there. I wrote him a letter in tears saying I hope he was ok and that I don’t know what’s going in his life for him not to return my call, but obviously he doesn’t want to include me in it. Since my divorce 6 years ago he is the only man I’ve told and truly showed love to.. I never mentioned him not coming to my b-day bar b q.. I thanked him for showing me love when he did and that he helped me stop and embrase the good in the world and in people. I told him I wished him the best and we both desrve to be happy. I apologized if I did or said anything to offend him and signed Love always.. I tried to write kind words and not write anything bad. I feel like an a** for not waiting to hear from him, yet I also felt abandon and disreguarded as if he was silently telling me it was over, I got so scared that I gave up on him / us b4 talking to him. I feel there is no clouser since we haven’t spoke since 5-20.. My actions by putting his stuff in a bag and leaving it at his job is saying I’m moving on.. I know this to shall pass. If I have given up for no good reason I hope he forgives me.
Sorry Alan, I forgot to mention.. the last time we were together
5-20 as he got ready to go I can tell he was dreading going back to work. He held me in his arm and said that I was his safe haven, that he is at peace and can be himself and not worry about the cares of the world and everybody’s problem.. then he said i love you.. How can a man say those things and then not call you for 5 days, miss your b-day not call to even say happy b-day.. I’m so cunfused?????
I met this pisces guy who is my a friend of my friend. We clicked instantly and although he didn’t give me his contact number, he added me on msn. He then invited me to his birthday party. After that we didn’t really contact each other much apart from him thanking me for going to his party and the present. Recently, we met at a party and we talked as if we have known each other for ages. I invited him to dance coz he seemed to fall asleep in the corner. So we danced and he started to tell me how to say i love you in another language. Throughout the rest of the night, we seemed to catch glances of each other and even my friends were pointing that out to me that he was staring at me. After theparty we didn’t talk to each other again, as I expected. But a few days ago I asked him fover the net for help on some work and he offered to meet up if he’s able to find his copy of work and if I want to. The conversation kind of dirfted off that. I’m confused..if he likes me why doesn’t he ever take the initiative to talk to me aside from face to face situations?
Hi Alan,
Ihave read the posts above and found them quite interesting.
I have a question and wanted your perspective.
I have been talking to a Piscean for just about 2 months. We have hung out a few times with friends and also alone a couple of times but we mostly talk on the phone. I like him alot but due to my circumstances cannot/will not take the friendship any further – I am in an unhappy marriage.
My piscean is aware of this fact as we have both been very open to each other (he has been married before and is now separated). No sex has been involved but still our connection is quite intense…at one stage I would say that if you can have an affair w/out sex then I was probably having one. My conscience stops me from going any further…because USUALLY i believe in doing one thing at a time…so to speak. He has a couple of ‘friends’ and to be honest if I was single he would not be a good contender because he is not doing commitment and I wouldn’t like the idea of his ‘friends’. All of this considered…..i really like him and one minute I feel to call off the ‘friendship’ coz thats all it is at the moment and i cannot get to see him how I would like to. and the next minute I feel like I can’t. I distance myself from him deliberately cause I know he will cause me to ‘put myself in trouble’. But I also miss him when I don’t hear from him.
If I don’t call him for a few days he gets annoyed (sarcastically) and then has been known to do the same to me (maybe to prove a point, maybe not)
What do you think I should do…..for his and my own sake….Cut off the relationship or continue as it is and see where it leads.
Thanks for your response in advance
Can you advise me, please? I am the SAG, I met a man fish on Skype. We are knowing just only 2,5 month. From the beginning we wrote just about everything and nothing and I must say this writing was amazing. I wanted l to see the man who can write so beautifully. I started to slightly push for a meeting about three weeks .His response was that the time will come when we will meet. I could not be put off and on, I slowly began to talk about date, again. One day he wrote on the skype that he still is not ready for serious relationship and that he does not want to hurt someone who does not deserve and who is expecting more from it. (he was 4 months broken up his relationship … it lasted many years….. she broke with him…why I do not know yet .. (Whereas tried to find out why, the answer I did not receive)…..I wrote him that my relationship lasted many years, too…… that I would like to be only friend with him, just to go for a beer, some movie and so on.… that the SAG is not easily to obtain .. and if SAG something takes seriously it will take a long time …. honestly, I did not await a response on his part…but for 4 days after I wrote it, he appeared on skype…. and so far we are writing and write about everything … We are in touch 12 hours … from 9 am to 5 AM the next day (of course with a pause for a job). it’s unbelievable …. dream together, touching, we are taalking about a job…
We finally met a month ago … some coffee, it took about three hours … we came home and go to Skype … we said our impressions of the dating …. The next day we saw about half an hour …. and then three weeks, I waited for the next date ….. but he has already suggested that we should meet, but he always had to do something else … but week ago we dated. it was the third date ))…. and after our the third date I went to Skype but he was not there … so I fell asleep, saying to me he does not like me … and to my surprise … . morning on skype 3 news – as you arrived home?, and if it was so bad that date? , so bad that date? and that the next time he would not speak so much that I will talk about yourself …………. and that he did not want to go away from me, but but he perhaps can not fairly show it……, and even I got txt, he hoped that the contact will not lose …. I wrote him on Skype that I thought I was boring him and so on. And I added that we can meet more in reality (if he wants) to learn about us .. no reaction on his part … The next two days, we again wrote from morning till night then …. two days he was not on the Skype…On Monday I wrote him txt – how are you and what about your daddy…..any answer….on Tuesday to hear from Skype that he has broken phone (connects via Mobile), what he will do for two next days … that the father will be in hospital …. and that on Wednesday he will be on Skype. .. and how I feel, what I am doing …. on Thrusday I sent him txt – how is father feels and any answer from him no…. Today is Saturday and any answer…. I probably know where he is, he mentioned it on our last date (in abroad), but I am not sure…. Why he did not answer me txt? I wea just asking about his father….I do not know what to think about it .. . need his space? Should I sent him txt? or should I wait he contacts me? Do you think we have the chance to be together? I feel great with him, even though I only met him three times …I am mad oveer him…I tried to not show him, but I tnink he feels it
I was even surprised when he was on vacation with friends and we txt at least 5 per day ….he surprised me gave me a gift from his holiday…
Please, give me advise. Thank you
SWEETHANG35,
Hope everything works out in the end. As to why a person would say stuff like that and not contact in say five days…….my personal thought is that he has a past issue which he is keeping in the closet. Whatever that may be, I’m not sure.
Whether the incident reminded him of a past happenings or he is thinking that he may be revealing a bit too much that will make you think negatively of him. That’s usually why people do that I’d say.
Scorpion girl,
Your situation is kind of interesting as it is usually the reverse where if the person is shy he would be inclined to chat like crazy online but distant in face to face meetings. But in general it sounds like basically there are qualities about you that he likes. Just not enough at this point to take initiative in plunging further. So times such as you two bumping into each other is just a good convenient and “why not” time to try and get to know you better to see if something is there.
Nearly40,
I can’t really say too much about this situation as it doesn’t really deal so much with trying to figure out what the person is thinking. In my opinion, it should be more about thinking of ways how you can make your marriage better before even worrying about the other person.
I am inclined to say that you are simply talking to that guy because he has qualities that you would like to see in your husband again. Example, maybe more compliments, initiative to be with you, etc. So I’d say for everyone’s sake it is better that you deal with your marriage first. Communication is the key.
Mask,
I always thought people would use Skype primarily for voice and video chatting. There is a good chance that he simply needs his space if everything about the situation with the father is true and all. I’m inclined to say that something about your live meeting made him less interested in you though.
I think an important thing to keep in mind is that trying to complete a portrait of someone based mostly on the words they write in say a chatroom is not the same as actually meeting the person. Because it can be so easy to interpret the words in a different way than intended.
That’s why in many cases too when people actually meet in-person they don’t see the same people that they envisioned. Hence, in cases like these it could be that he is slowly shying away as his vision of you wasn’t the same. With that in mind I think the best way to approach it is to use the old inviting routine. Example, think of something you genuinely need help with where he would be the perfect candidate and see how he responds to that. Whatever response he gives should be a semi good indicator in terms of his stance with you.
Hello, I find you very insightful so here it goes….
I dated this guy for about 6 months back when I was really young and things were great and light. We broke up because he entered a very demanding career, but stayed in contact as he told me that he could never see me as a friend. Six years later, we are both single and I would like to give it a shot. He has always made sexual jokes with me although we have never been intimate and made it clear that he is attracted to me (I think the sexual references are made in an effort to stay out of the friend zone). Recently we have been in touch via text and telephone, but I am the one always reaching out. He responds promptly to my text messages and last time I asked him to call me and he did it very promptly during his lunch break. He is a police officer and has made it clear that it is very difficult for him to have a relationship because of his schedule. I mentioned that I never slept with him because I cared for him and I didn’t want to be one more girl on his list and would rather keep him in my life as a friend. He also stated that he feels empty having random hook ups and that the reason why he never stayed around was because he didn’t want to break my heart. He added that I should call him and we could talk and text, but not hang out because he was sure he would make a move on me. In your opinion, does he like me or is he just being nice? Or perhaps he is drawn to the fact that we have never been intimate and just wants sex? How do I proceed? Should I be aggressive or have I done enough and the ball is on his court? By the way, he is 30.
Gemgirl,
To me it sounds like he really does like you. Example, you mention that you take initiative to reach out to him and in return he replies promptly. That is genuine interest in my view.
At the same time, in my opinion it sounds like his mindset at this point is that he is a little conflicted as one side of him is saying “Time to settle down” while another side is saying “I don’t want to give up what I have”.
Meeting a person like yourself embodies that settling down part as to him it seems like you obtain a ton of qualities that he is looking for in a women. I dare to say too, even though I don’t know him, that you are probably one of the closest ideal matches for him in his view and so he doesn’t want to screw up.
In my opinion, the biggest fear for him is that if he takes the next step with you something might come up in the process that will destroy what was originally perceived as the ideal girl. Confusing? Well, think of it like a stereotypical transition from a dating relationship to a marriage where people say once you are married the fire will die. Therefore, a person doesn’t want that to happen and hence makes every reason in the world not to get married.
Let’s be honest here. If a guy with my personality type truly did not want you to get close in any way they will not even entertain the thought of even talking or texting you back about things that will inevitably get you two closer together. This is one of those actions speak louder than words situations too I’d say.
Is he drawn to the fact that you two have never been intimate? I think this comes down to what you mean by when you told him that you never slept with him because you cared with him. Example, are you saying he was desperately trying and you kept turning him away? Because if so then of course there is a chance that he is just trying to get some. But from what I am reading so far I think the above is a more likely scenario right now.
So if the above is accurate and assuming that you really want to go for him then I think the best way to approach it is to be suggestive in such a way where your conversations with him will make him think more about what life would really be like with you beyond this friendship situation.
You will have to be semi aggressive still due to the fear. But the important thing is to wipe that fear away from him that things will change for the worse as opposed to making things better for the both of you.
Good posts
I am an aquarius and have found this all very interesting! Do you ever regret not calling the girl from the shop alan?
All this advice, couldn’t read it all, think it freed me from my hang up.
Thank you. My heart is singing a little tune http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRy8N1P1EUI&feature=related
I feel so freed, no longer broken…. thank you with all sincerities, with all honesty I felt something for this piecian man that stung my heart, I know my love is intense, don’t think he could handle my love. I need all or nothing, and my heart is intense, and I need someone to trust me, cause im the most trusting person you would ever meet.
When I had a fling with this piceian man, he said I was a cheat, he never actually asked, or thought to ask or give the chance, that me and my x had been talking bout splitting for some time, the night after I was with him, we broke up at 8am. Then thought we would try for our daughter, and since we had known each other since we were 14, we tried hard, mad an effort with affection, dinners, chatting everything a couple could do. There was no hope. We told each other there was nothing, we kind of knew it was over, and kind of happy going out without each other, e.g. clubbing, we knew there was nothing that we both where looking for someone else. I actually told him I was with someone else. He told me he had been. You see maybe I wasn’t an open book, but isn’t that what you said it’s about trust. This man has no trust for me, after all my forgiving, attempts to let him in. I would be open to being friends, and going out and getting messy and fuking round with big expensive toys, music, movies, most my friends are guys, and think he would make a good friend. But my heart aches, I feel an intense passion, it’s left a hole in my heart, I had to let go. SO many people can’t handle my intensity, I grab all my friends by the faces and give them intense kisses on the cheek, and I can see in their eyes that they know I love them, (that each time I do it that they are like wow, no one does that) and that I would do anything for them, (that’s my friends) imagine if I loved this man, I don’t think he could handle it. WHEN I hug people I connect with even if it’s the first time I meet them, I can tell they feel my intensity, and the look on their face is WOW. I grasp a hold on to a lot of people. I connect with people easily, Im a lover, im all love, and it’s full on. But it needs to be recipicated, even in a friend way, a first meeting of someone in a pub; I either love and trust straight away or not at all. All or nothing kind of girl. And so many people love that bout me. I love that about me. I’m the kind of girl that stops and asks cute little old ladies in the street if they are ok, give all my change in my wallet to the homeless, I have had many homeless friends, that I took time every week to speak to and connect with. I am just all love. Im the kinda girl if someone pays someone out for a diability, I will say how would you feel? If someone pays someone out for what they are wearing I will say, what happens if they cant afford anything else? (I am not saying I have the odd chuckle) (if they are honestly mean, I will say that is slack) And because this man thinks im a liar, cheat, twisted, and unworthy even as a friend or to trust me, when I trust him. It’s gone. Thank you for your amazing kisses.
hello again alan.
remember when i was telling you about my pisces guy? well things have changed, and i thought it would benefit others to read what i’m going through…
so for others to know, me and this guy have been on and off since like may of this year. were both pisces signs but i’ve never dealt with a pisces guy. when i first met him he just wanted to be fwb, and i agreed. but when i would go over to “see” him we did more than have sex. like he was hanging out with me. talking about things he liked, opening up about himself, and acting like guys do when they hang with friends who are girls…
needless to say that i like him now. theres things about him that i be and have in my life, and for some dumb reason him being so quiet makes me even more attracted i guess… but he keeps telling me that he doesnt want a gf. that hes got 2 jobs… one at night and one in the early morning, and he has goals and bills to pay off… but one thing he keeps saying that i think is the reason is that he has had other girls break his heart and he doesnt want that again.
so pisces will call me, ask how im doing, strikes up ransom conversations, and then asks if i can come over. but now that im busy too, we havent seen each other since october.
so now he has the upper hand over me, but i dont like jump at his every beck and call. i have been thinking of calling it off but i still hang around likea dummy. alan, do you understand pisces girls? or atleast my pisces guy in this situation?
Ok, I hope you still check these comments… because I am really stuck on the fence with this guy. I’m a Virgo and he’s a Pisces (obviously). I normally have guys figured out in my head when we first start dating but I am so confused with him. We went to highschool together but didn’t talk much until we became facebook friends. He commented on how he liked a few of my pictures and I took that as the first hint that he was attracted to me. Then we would chat and he would ask things about my work and my family (I have 2 daughters). That was hint #2 right? Asking questions and showing interest. I thought I had him figured out. So, one day he text me to tell me to get a babysitter for that night… attempting to not seem excited about that, I replied “For…. ?” and he said so we can go out. Now I’m really excited and then he says “I was definitely just joking. I’m at a football game.” LOL I was so disappointed. He texts and calls often, but as soon as I say something that might hint that he’s into me – he tries to shut down the thought. WTF! I have a few Pisces guyfriends and they normally say hello like “hey beautiful” … he acknowledges me like one of his homeboys – ughhhh I’m so confused! HELP!
Hi,
You are very insightful and I was hoping you would be able to give me some input on my situation with my pisces…
I met him a few months ago on a dating website. We instantly hit it off and went on numerous dates. I’d say we dated for about 6-7 weeks, when all of a sudden he became distant. Of course, he wasn’t the one to bring it up, I was. He admitted that he had a lot on his mind, he was sorry, he knew he had a wall up… blah, blah, blah.. but then said that he thought that his feelings for us should be stronger at this point in our relationship..that I am amazing, funny, super sweet, he love spending time with me, gets excited to see me, but he didn’t have emotions for me yet. I was like??? Huh? It’s been a while since I’ve dated, but I didn’t know there was a time frame for emotions… (Oh, I forgot to mention that I was also away on vacation for a week during those 6-7 weeks that we dated.) I was thoroughly confused. I felt like asking,, are you the woman in this relationship, or am I ? Needless, to say, we no longer date. We did agree to stay friends though. We had soooo much fun together, it was unreal! Plus, we have numerous common interests. So, we kept communicating for a bit, and then he goes an disappears for a while (week, week and a half)… I was confused, to say the least, plus it made me second guess the whole ‘let’s be friends’ agreement that we came to. Made me think that he said it just to appease me or make me feel better. I assured him that I was fine/ok and that he didn’t need to keep communication if he didn’t want to. He was adament that he did…. However, low & behold, just when I am about to write him off, what does he do? Texts me at 6:30 am Monday morning telling me to have a great day & he was thinking of me… WHAT??? He’s decided to come out and play again? and he’s been texting me for days and constantly tells me how I make him smile all day long … I’m sure it will come to an end when his mood changes or he finds someone else to pass time with. My question for you is do these men have a tendency to act this way? Retreat like this? Do you think he is using me merely to make himself feel good? He literally asked me the first day we were in contact again if I was happy that he was texting me again? Hello? Vain? Is it me, or is he sending me mixed signals here? Did he want to hear it from me cuz he likes to have his ego boosted or due to insecurities? Even though I am a Leo, I am insecure. I worry, that if I show him too much compassion/emotion- he sill take it the wrong way and think I want more than our friendship. Which… I’m not sure whether I do or not. I am confused as to what his motives are. He was/is an amazing person.. however his walls are definitely up. I would love to be there for him, but don’t want to be a china doll that he takes down off the shelf whenever he needs something/his spirits lifted/to pass time/to figure out what he wants/etc. Does that make sense? Do you have any thoughts? Input? Ideas? I really appreciate you taking the time to read my post. Thank you…
Alan:
I really liked your article. Maybe you can give me some insight into my situation. Pisces guy and I’m a Scorpio. Anyway, I’ve been working with this guy, not directly, since May. His body language suggests that he likes me, i.e. eyebrow raise, always looks at me, smooths his clothing to include socks. Plus he compliments me all the time, not on my looks, but on my intelligence and experience. He is very respectful of me. At our summer picnic he said that he didn’t think I was going to make it, suggesting that he was looking for me. I am smitten. Recently, a girlfriend suggested to him that he invite me to a Christmas party; without the invitation I would not have been able to go as it was for management and I am not a part of management. Anyway, he obliged. I got to the party first when he got there he checked in with me and I invited him to sit with my girlfriend, her boyfriend and me. He said he would, but he wanted to go say hi to some other co-workers. He never came back. At the end of the party, he came back to say good bye. By the way, I won tickets to a
New Year’s comedy show in a raffle (incidentally, I drew his ticket for the flat screen t.v., unfortunately he had traded his ticket…how coincidental is that???) So, when he came back to check in prior to leaving, I asked him if he wanted to go to the show. And he said…he was busy, he’d be going to dig razor clams…and then that he would think about it. I haven’t seen or heard from him since!!! I am really bugged out because I thought he liked me. He notes any change that I make to my work area, asks about my kids, gives me personal information, on and on. Last year he helped me stuff and stamp 180 envelopes! And he is a project manager! What gives??? Help Alan!
Mod
Hi Alan,
I need your advice, I have a Pisces boyfriend, we met last week everything was good when he left for home. Now suddenly he is not taking my calls, when I call he cuts my phone so I thought he is busy, now when I call there is no response. Strange thing is when I call from other numbers he is not picking them up also. I tried 10 different numbers. Send him mail, sms, but no response. I am Libran and going on crazy now. What is going on, what happened suddenly. A day before this person was taking of spending life with me and now where he vanished suddenly.
Is he busy or left me what should I do wait for his call or keep trying. His lot of stuff is lying with me, some urgent work also is pending due to his non-response. Where he is?
Pl tell me, just share with you , he is married and I am a divorced women.
madhvi
Does long distance relationship work well with pisces guys?
I met this pisces guy (I’m taurean btw) last July. At first, I wasn’t really attracted to him. But contrary to your post, it was him who made the the first initiative. We were together on a business trip and stayed at the same hotel, separate rooms of course. In the first week, we get along well like friends but things changed when I got transferred to a room beside his room. He started to do things like he would give me morning wake up calls, and wait by the door so we can have breakfast together, go with me when I do groceries. But I didn’t do anything, I just accepted whatever he did but didn’t really responded in return. Then what he did was. He stopped making morning calls. I was like worried he wasn’t able to wake up so I was forced to call him. Then everything went opposite, it was now me calling him in the morning and I felt like I was falling into a trap. I was starting to like him. It was this one instance when he asked for a good night kiss on the cheek. He kissed me near my ear and it really made me so weak. He saw it and just smiled. And so it started, we had this secret “mutual understanding” relationship. Although our colleagues were teasing us, they never knew that when we are intimate when we are alone. That went on for a month and it was time for me to go back and he had to stay there for some more months. We never really talked about commitment. We never really exchanged “I love you” but I heard him say it twice but when I asked again he would take it back. I was thinking back then that when he comes back after the business trip, we could try our relationship. First few weeks we were apart, we would talk on skype. But then after that, he said he was getting “home sick” and had to go out most of the time. Then I heard news he was being linked to this other girl, I asked him about it and he just said those are only rumors and I believed him. Then come the time, we were talking and he said that I might find someone new already and so I answered jokingly that maybe he was the one who has found another. And right there and then, he admitted that he has developed feelings for this colleague of ours who is there with him. I was hurt but I can’t do anything about it. I asked about our relationship and about me. He said he thinks I’m perfect and he is happy with me but there is something lacking. He used to have this ex-gf and the happiness he felt for that girl he still hasn’t found again. I was expecting he would say something about this new girl but the excuse he made was about his ex. He never really mentioned anything about the new girl. I accepted everything and never really asked anything. He requested that we be friends. I said ok. Do you think it’s ok to be friends with him still? He did say “friends for now”. I was like no “for now” it would just make me hope. So he agreed, ok friends. He just got back but we haven’t really seen each other or talked to each other because of the holidays. I just want to know what he meant about friends (for now). Does he want to reconsider our relationship? Does he honestly think I would just take him back just like that after he admitted having feelings for another girl. We were apart for only 2 months. It was expected anyway cause our relationship wasn’t that deep I guess. We were together for only a month.
I don’t know where to start
~ my english is not that good so PARDON me -Im a SCORPIO WOMAN-intense,secretive,emotional,misterious
I was on fbook and i was trying to look for a friend that interest me the most by just looking at there face and likes, but i suddenly see this PRETTY GUY i was instantly attracted to him because his goood looking LAD! and decided to add him right away…then after AN hour of surfing in the internet..I decided to start a conversation to him…TELLING THAT I LIKE HIM… THAT IM SORRY FOR ADDING HIM SO RANDOMLY….
he replies no need to b srry let’s b friend how about thAT?
i WAS THINKING MAYBE HE DIDN’T LIKE ME for saying that i like him, that’s why he asked me to b his friend and i just said YES cuz i know it start from just a friend to a new relationship but for me its just admiration because his such a BEAUTIFUL GUY and his MUSICIAN too! which makes me like him more n more.. im his FAN… it was not even a long convi cuz i know his a BUSY MAN doing his music,,so after a week or so i went online n FBOOK and for me it was very RARE to this guy to b online… so I make the first move saying HI to him in chat, he did the same way too but then it wasn’t a very long chat that he immidiately say I G2g let’s talk nxt time..so i PAUSE and think did i just make him RUN AWAY it because of what i said to him in the PAST that so am confuse??…we rarely talk in fbook like were nothing but a STRANGER now~
but what’s the point of asking me to b his friend even tho im doing my best to b like a FRIEND to him. he did once ask me how’s my xmas and i reply~ but didn’t give much detail to it cuz maybe he doesn’t like those ppl who give lots of information even tho its just a short question..but i do understand that his on d BAND but he treated me like an INVISIBLE friend
unlike his other mates but i still respect that cus it his closes friends before he ask me become one.
now i look like a fool w8ting to his replies even tho i know his not gna reply much about it!! btw his PISCES man, very mysterious, hard to get etc..but still admire him
Im quite too but wenevr i feel comfortable with ppl arround me i became more n more safe that’s what i felt to him right now but he doesn’t realize it at all..
so am kind of tired reading about pisces and scorpio comaptible thing and i still believe at some point hell regret it
or maybe not haha who knows…
but i lke the atmosphere here its like a DEBATE from different sign just for PISCES male.
additionally is he not interested with a scorpio woman like me cuz they’re both alike….what do you think is it just more than a friend or for nothing but stranger?
anyway he lives in JAPAN and i lIVE n UK maybe that’s d anotha reason to it as well.
maybe its hard for him to show how he felt…right? so i decided to let go and in fact I ADMIRE him only but i felt something wevenr towrds this guy..his friendly to all of his friend but doesn’t tlk to me that much..
Hey alan,
i got a couple of questions for you and i was wondering if you can answer them. it’s ovbs about a pisces guy lol. anyways this is my story. i meet this guy through a friend and thought he was really cute. i have added him to my e-mail and we chated ever since. he has told me i was cute but not sure if he was only being polite because i said he was cute first. we talked alot for a couple of weeks more like everyday he would usually msg me and sometimes i would msg him. i found out that he was talking to one of my good guy friends about one of my friends and he questioned my guy friend about me but the convo was more about my friend, so i thought he wasn’t interested in me but more of my friend. we stopped chatting everyday. so one day i was going downtown i thought i would give him another try and see if he wanted to go. he said he would like to go. when Saturday came around he actually ended up meeting up with me downtown surprisingly because i thought he wouldn’t make it. we talked about all night and there was some eye contact. he would sometimes hold me close because it was cold outside since it is winter. there was one point we were dancing and my friend looked troubled so i grabbed his hand lightly to come but he adjusted his hand to hold my hand. he did that about 3 times that night. i have no idea if he is interested in me or if im just another girl he wants to play a game with. what do you think?
HI! COULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME ANALYZE THIS SITUATION. IT KEEPS PUZZLING ME. THIS GUY I MET ONLINE REALLY SHOWED GREAT INTERST INME IN ALL LEVELS (INTELLECTUALLY, EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY), BUT WHEN WE WERE GETTING DEEP ALREADY, HE JUST FADED AWAY LIKE SOMEBODY AFRAID OR SOMEBODY BEING PRUDENT… IN SHORT WE FELL IN AND OT OF LOVE IN JUST 10 DAYS… BUT IT BOGGLES ME STILL… YOU SEE I AM AN AQUARIAN AND I SOMEHOW WANTED TO HAVE AT LEAST HIS FRIENDSHIP BUT HE REJECTS EVEN THAT!! HOW COME?
I’VE PASTED OUR LAST CONVERSATION FOR YOU TO SEE… I WAS THE ONE WHO INITIATED IT AFTER TWO WEEKS WITHOUT NOTICE…
HIM: I am ok
[1/15/2011 7:53:20 PM] HIM: thanks for asking
[1/15/2011 7:53:26 PM] HIM: hope you are well.
[1/15/2011 7:53:49 PM] ME: it’s a relief actually that you’ve responded…
[1/15/2011 7:54:29 PM] HIM: can we chat a bit? that’s if u r not busy…
[1/15/2011 7:58:20 PM] ME: r u busy today?
[1/15/2011 7:58:46 PM] HIM: HONESTLY, I’m done chatting with you.
[1/15/2011 7:58:51 PM] HIM: I don’t mean to be rude…
[1/15/2011 7:59:01 PM] HIM: but I just don’t want this energy anymore…
[1/15/2011 7:59:10 PM] HIM: there is nothing about it that feels good to me.
[1/15/2011 7:59:10 PM] HIM: sorry
[1/15/2011 8:00:12 PM] ME: I understand you, but not even as friends?
[1/15/2011 8:00:26 PM] HIM: i don’t see the point.
[1/15/2011 8:00:58 PM] ME: I just can’t consider you as a virtual thing that happened to me on a day in december..
[1/15/2011 8:01:02 PM] HIM: why?
[1/15/2011 8:01:33 PM] HIM: This is the fate you created for yourself. I can’t and don’t want to deal with your energy any longer. sorry.
[1/15/2011 8:01:40 PM] HIM: I wrote an email that was very clear on this.
[1/15/2011 8:01:46 PM] HIM: I explained my side of this.
[1/15/2011 8:01:50 PM] HIM: I don’t want to be rude.
[1/15/2011 8:01:55 PM] ME: what email?
[1/15/2011 8:02:27 PM] ME: oh yeah the two lines…
[1/15/2011 8:02:30 PM] HIM: you rsponded to it, so you got it.
[1/15/2011 8:03:34 PM] ME: would you accept my apologies… I just kept thinking and it really occupies my mind…
[1/15/2011 8:04:01 PM] HIM: you have nothing to appologize for you. You have every right to be precisely who you are.
[1/15/2011 8:04:06 PM] ME: but it doesn’t work with me…
[1/15/2011 8:04:18 PM] HIM: you should connect with someone who appreciates your natural way.
[1/15/2011 8:04:22 PM] HIM: that person is NOT me
[1/15/2011 8:05:28 PM] ME: If you say it’s not you, I believe you, but I guess friendship doesn’t choose people at all…
[1/15/2011 8:07:33 PM] ME: you seem to be a good person thatt’s why I am still drawn to you…
[1/15/2011 8:07:55 PM] HIM: well, I appreciate the well wishes, but I’m not interested.
[1/15/2011 8:08:18 PM] HIM: you will repeat, and recur, the exact same conduct, and you are still clueless about it. This is who you are . You should just be who you are.
[1/15/2011 8:08:27 PM] HIM: As I said, I don’t wish to be rude, but I’m done.
[1/15/2011 8:08:36 PM] HIM: Only a fool retraces prior bad steps
[1/15/2011 8:08:38 PM] HIM: sorry
[1/15/2011 8:08:40 PM] HIM: no offense
[1/15/2011 8:08:43 PM] HIM: but I’m no longer interested
[1/15/2011 8:09:43 PM] ME: do you consider me bad? or somebody with prior bad steps?
[1/15/2011 8:10:35 PM] HIM: i am not interested, ok?
[1/15/2011 8:10:37 PM] HIM: i’m done explaining this
[1/15/2011 8:12:26 PM] ME: so you are suggesting I delete you from my contacts..? I know you are a good person and I treasure and value the friendship of good people…
[1/15/2011 8:12:56 PM] HIM: we are both good people. But I am not interested in knowing you any longer.
[1/15/2011 8:12:57 PM] HIM: sorry
[1/15/2011 8:14:44 PM] ME: That I know… so you mean, If you pop-out online, I’ll just neglect the fact that I want to say hi to you? not even to say “hi”?
[1/15/2011 8:15:12 PM] HIM: please just delete me from your conatact list
[1/15/2011 8:15:13 PM] HIM: thanks
[1/15/2011 8:27:26 PM] ME: I don’t know why you are behaving like this… as an intelligent man as you are, I thought you’d understand I wanted to become a plain friend…didn’t know you’re the type who rejects even a simple friendship…and this is what I don’t understand, as every person for me in the world is as valuable as myself, even if I’ve met them online…but, nice to meet you, anyway.
[1/15/2011 8:31:19 PM] ME: If you need a friend (though I know u have lots) or just somebody to say “hi” to, I’ll be here… I just didn’t want to have guilt feelings of any sort and certainly didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings intentionally…
[1/15/2011 8:34:13 PM] ME: ok, I won’t disturb you now… peace…
Good Evening Mr. Alan,
I need a bit of help. I like a guy who is a Pisces. we met on an online dating site (we both left it now). but we talked for a while, i asked him out, but he told me he’s very cautious so i didn’t bring it up again after the second time, thinking this would go nowhere. After talking for 2 months, he brought up the hanging out. We set up the hang out and everything. We met in January and had an awesome time! we pretty much hang out for 8 hours! i was so thrilled! and he wanted to hang again, like asap! he’s so cool and down to earth, and I’m falling for him hard! lol we’re still talking via facebook and text. we plan to hang out again this week Saturday! but i hit a dead end, he’s leaving for Massachusetts Feb 24 but its a bit iffy with his landlord. I was thinking of telling him i like him in a poem, were at the end i say “I like you” since he loves poems (and i used to right it), it would be great! but i don’t know how or when to tell him, and i don’t want to stop him from moving either. I want to know officially if he likes me before, i break the news to him. If you want more details just ask. Oh, don’t pisces like gifts? he was omg! when i gave him a gift, i plan to give him another for his b-day in march but he doesn’t want it. Giving gifts to people is the ultimate way of showing i care (usually lavish gifts, if i have the money lol). Thanks for the help!
Oh and he broke up with his gf (for 4 yrs) who they planned to get married but it went down hill. He said he’s not looking for anything now, but you never know, also i don’t want to fall into rebound.
Hi Alan,
I am so happy that I came across this website today and I enjoyed your story… I had a question that I would like to know the answer to…? I am a Capricorn woman and I am interested in a Pisces man that attends the same college as me… In my opinion he is a really nice guy and I would really like to get to know him more. Just recently a friend of mine told him and ever since then he always says hello and has a big grin on his face… But lately he has been trying to spark conversation with me and I enjoy it but I don’t want to get too excited just because he talks to me more… With him sparking conversation with me and being more friendly all of a sudden could this mean that he likes me or is that normally just the personality of a Pisces man? He is very funny to me and he just has the traits that I look for in a man…
Also… If you think he does like me how would you recommend that I show him that the feeling is mutual?
Please help…lol…
Thanx for reading,
TRIECE
By the way, I meant that ever since my friend told him that I like him he has since spoke to me and had a big smile on his face…sorry I didn’t proof read…lol
Hey Alan,
There’s a pisces guy and i kinda have a huge crush on him
he is born on march 17 and i am born on 5 february, most of the time during classes i find him staring at me and then when i catch him looking towards me he immediately looks somewhere else. Some of my friends who know him a bit say that he is shy, and somtimes it happend that when i look at him and he see’s me looking at him, he raises his eyebrows up and then down. Sometimes he behaves as if i don’t exist even though i was present there. We have chatted three times in Facebook, and i am always the first person to start the conversation, but then he seems to chat very sweetly. We have never talked to each other face to face, my friends are telling me to say him a ‘HI’ in school, but i never got the courage to do so, as i am not sure about his reactions, whether he would completely ignore me or respond nicely. I am extremely confused.
I would be glad if you suggest me some tips on how to go about it
thank you !
Oh my,
Sorry all, lots of catching up to do I see as I have been gone for awhile. I’ll try my best to answer each comment. And yes, I do read each and every one of them. Just haven’t figured a way in life to clone myself to be everywhere at once.
Shell,
Always interesting to hear how things are turning out with people. In terms of me understanding a pisces girl, I think it has more to do on whether or not I understand why certain people do and feel the way they do in certain scenarios. General answer with that would be I am no mind reader or anything as I have expressed many times, but I just base everything from what I know and have seen. Was there something specific you wanted my opinion with in regards to that?
For the guy in your situation, I still think my original comments I gave you about him holds true and it still fits with the scenario you just gave me. Mostly about keeping the options opened, so to speak.
Chan,
For your situation there is so much back-story to it that would reveal more information. For example, how did you two became Facebook friends? Did he just add you out of the blue or did you add him? Based on what you wrote though, it sounds like he thinks in some ways that you two have no chance with each other despite you having qualities that he really likes.
I am just using this for the sake of an example, but it could be the fact that you have children already which makes him unable to envision being with you in the long term in that type of way and so it is a constant forced “sway off” when it comes to a relationship mentality. So whenever it feels like it is getting too outside the friendship area that part of the brain kicks in to back out.
That is the most logical answer I can think of at the moment and would kind of fit in my view. If that is the case too, you have to go with the sneakier route and find ways to ask him about his general views about relationships. His philosophy when it comes to love, what he looks for in an ideal marriage scenario, etc. Just treat him as a “homeboy” too and it will be easy to dissect this way.
Leochicka,
The main type of people that would act like that from what I see are ones that want reassurance that you yourself feel empty in a way without them. The extreme example would be you phoning him everyday saying how you can’t bare to not be around him everyday and such. Basically, he is looking for something like that.
That would explain why he went absent all of a sudden as it was more of a “I hope she does do that” type of test and how you mentioned he contacted you afterwards with all those questions to reassure himself as it didn’t seem like you took the plunge for his test. I guess insecurity would be a good word for this scenario.
I don’t know the person personally as he could very well be just a guy that is using you for his own ego, but my guess based on what I read is that his way of testing a girl is just extremely counterproductive for a person like yourself. Even by reading your comments it sounds like you could eat him for breakfast. So for him it’s probably better to be a bit less procedural in his approach.
Mod,
My assumption would be that for whatever reason he doesn’t want the whole world to think that you two are an item. Why that is the case? I’m not sure of course as I don’t exactly know anything about him. That kind of explains the party situation too as inviting you shows he cared. But not sitting at the table with your friend and her boyfriend is like the perfect scenario for him to get others to not even fathom the thought that you two are even remotely close to being a couple in anyway.
If that is the case too and you are trying to pursue him then you need to find ways to do it outside of the work realm environment. Hence, him saying he is going to dig razor clams could have been a subtle hint on something that he does and would give you a window of opportunity to do so.
Madhvi,
I am kind of confused at your message. You say he is your boyfriend and at the same time he is married? Generally speaking though, I can’t really tell what is going on as there could be infinite amounts of reason why he is not picking up calls. But from what you wrote it sounds like he is simply trying to avoid you for whatever reason.
Using a stereotypical example, if he is indeed a married man then it would make sense for him to not want anyone to know that he is with you. Imagine the backlash that would cause to him.
k,
My general thoughts on long distance relationships is that they only work if both parties are actively working to actually be together in-person. It shouldn’t be one person trying so hard and not the other.
It’s interesting that you mention that you felt like you were falling into a trap. Cause based on what I read this was most likely just a challenge for him. Basically, see how far you can woo the lady and get her to be all over you.
With that said, if that is all true then saying “friends for now” is basically just a way to keep you hanging. If a guy truly cared for you and wanted to be with you they would find the time to do so and would look forward to seeing you. Having to go out all the time cause he was “home sick” contradicts all of that I say.
If it was me and assuming everything is accurate, I would just treat the person as a colleague. Business only.
Sei,
Sounds to me like he was replying to you initially and all to be polite and courteous. Even I am inclined to say you two are kind of like strangers to each other still due to the way you two have met. If he is a musician too then it makes more sense why he is simply trying to be nice to everyone as you are a “fan” so to speak as well
Anna,
To me it sounds like he is interested in you. If the person is sensitive then even holding someone close cause of the cold whether should be a semi big deal in their minds. Overall though, there is not much to go by at the moment as it doesn’t sound like there is anything concrete to judge with on whether or not this is a serious relationship situation. But generally speaking it sounds like the interest is there.
assertivegirl,
This is going to be a really subjective interpretation of that chat log as I don’t exactly have a story book on all the details that lead up to that point. It would seem though that he felt you came off very strong and aggressive when it came to an opinion of some sort that makes him question your personality and if you are someone he wants to associate with.
For example, maybe you were constantly telling him that he is the one for you in life and that you will devote everything to him. Then, maybe he tried to slow it down but you were still aggressive in that manner.
I am basing that on the odd comments such as him apparently saying “This is the fate you created for yourself. I can’t and don’t want to deal with your energy any longer. Sorry.”
As well, other lines like “you have nothing to appologize for you. You have every right to be precisely who you are.”
As expected after, he wanted to end it. That part is pretty black and white. It’s mainly the exact reasons that are unknown as again I don’t exactly have every detail.
Samantha,
I don’t think there is a reason to wait in telling the person that you like them in that scenario as it sounds like you two are in a semi comfortable position where either person can announce it to see a reaction. Your suggestion of a poem can actually be a very good way to do it if the person has a personality like mine. Cause you know that is something the person had to put some time and effort into doing.
As always though, the key to seeing if he truly likes you and all is to see what initiatives he takes to contact you and such. Similar to the poem too, gifts are always appreciated as long as the person feels that you put thought into it and all.
Triece,
If he is actively trying to initiate conversation with you then he is definitely interested in you one way or another. If that was me, I think the best way for you to show that the feeling is mutual in a neutral way is to simply take initiative in inviting him to do some kind of activity.
Example, maybe you two talked about a TV series a lot and so asking if he wants to watch it with you would immediately give him the reassurance that the feeling is mutual, so to speak. While in some ways you can say it’s like you asking him out on a date, there are other variety of ways to do it. Another creative way for example is you can offer to help him in some kind of task he needs to do. Many times with this particular circumstance, it is reassurance to them that you like them enough to even offer that.
As well, how he accepts or rejects the offer is a good telling sign of just how interested he is in you.
aquariun girl,
I think the best course of action is to use Facebook as your main tool to open him up a bit at this point if you say he is a shy person and that you are just fearful of how he would react to you. Example, find a game app that you think he would enjoy and ‘invite” him to play it with you. If the person is interested in you in that way they will take initiative to participate or at least reply back to you asking what the game is about and all.
Or likewise, send say a funny clip. Again, the person will take initiative to say respond to you after if they like you. In my opinion, that is probably a good way to approach the situation with these circumstances.
Very good observations! You should get paid to do this lol.
I seem to have alot of pisces in my life, one of which is my mom.
The other, a guy I was recently liking. To this day, I still can’t decipher the mysteries of you fish. You guys are hard to catch. As with any sign wrought with complications and protracted struggles.
One thing I know for sure we can not have anything without a challenge. Everything a endless chase, power struggle etc. My situation with the pisces…I just chose to take a step back…I sense an attraction….a rare closeness there…but keeping the momentum going is proving to be exhausting. I know pisces are not the ones to take the first steps…but I made alot of iniative…and even though there is something undeniably there…I can’t see myself as a Leo/Virgo woman making all the moves to push it along…. I would feel like im trying to woo myself. haha.
The way I see it, if it is truly meant to be…something will happen to bring us together. Until then, I’m spending time to learn about myself and live in the moment. Your advice to all these women has given some great insight on not just pisces makes…but men in general. Thanks!
thankyou thankyou.
in plain english you answered my concerns. hopefully in the future i will not look at my ‘video games’, in resentment.
all the best to you.
Hey Allan, I love this site and I think it’s really great that you are helping people with Pisces! I was wondering if you could help me?! I’m not really good at explaining stuff but I’ll give it my best try! So, there is this Pisces whom I have known for maybe a year and a half. We know each other through work. At the beginning I was really cold to him, and we had this thing where we would just stare into each other’s eyes(It’s amazing the feeling you get) and he’d smile, and we’d give each other smart remarks. (playful arguing) Than, I’d always end up catching him looking at me when I’m not, and he was just different around me then he was with everyone else. Over time, He started making it really obvious that he was trying to get to me by making me mad, ignoring me and trying to make me jealous. So I know I probably shouldn’t have done this but I did it back. So, some days would be intense gazes and major flirting, other days would be trying to start a conversation and be friendly, and other times he would just ignore me. Recently, for maybe a couple months now we no longer are flirting a lot but he suggested that I should come swing by his office.(he still sometimes just stares into my eyes a lot but not in a lusty but genuine way and I still catch him looking when I’m not) I don’t go every day, but I have been going. The time I spent in his office kept getting longer and longer. The thing that sucks is when I’m trying to be friendly to him I sound nervous and stutter, and different things like that. Sometimes when walking by me, he’ll stop talking to someone else and without even looking up says hi to me. Other times he just completely ignores me. What bothers me is that the last time I was in his office like 2 days ago he asked me a question, and I started to answer than someone else came in and started talking to him. He then completely ignored me. So I just stood there and smiled waiting for him to acknowledge me again but he got up from his desk continued to talk to the other person ignoring me so I left and I haven’t been back since.(well, for 2 days) lol. Today, he walked by the room I was in with a bunch of people looking directly at me.(like he was checking up on me) There’s a lot more that I just can’t explain but he keeps flip flopping on me. For a while he will just try to talk to me normally, I just get this feeling from him when he’s looking at me that sometimes he likes me back, but I’m not sure. Of course you amazing Pisces people always know when someone likes you. I’m sorry for writing so much, but I guess what I’m trying to say is he gets close to me then he goes and ignores me and he just changes it around all the time. Thank you for taking the time to read all of this stuff I wrote! Why do you think he gets close to me than ignores me? Do you think he likes me? Should I go back? What should I do? What do you think about this whole situation. Thank you so much for answering!!!!
Oh, sorry I spelled your name wrong Alan.
And just to add, it wasn’t all just trying to make each other mad and arguing..sometimes he can be really kind and sweet to me. I’m sorry it’s not a lot of detail!
Hi Alan,
Quick question. I’ve known a Pisces man now for almost five months. Extremely flirtatious from the get-go (generally at its most heavy under the influence of a little alcohol) on both our ends. We’re from the same state, but we got separated due to grad school. Our Skype conversations last anywhere from two to six hours, and I was feeling extremely confident. He lets me read his writing (I let him read mine), we discuss art and life choices, etc.
However, last week, I made a joke about having a lunch date with someone else (which was not was happened — big misunderstanding) and even though Pisces acted fine, the next five days were impossible to get him on the phone, e-mail, etc. I felt terrible. I cleared the air, explained it was a joke, and tried my best to explain it away without letting him know I knew what was wrong (if that makes any sense.) He e-mailed a few days later to say, “He saw these links and thought of me,” and we had a Skype chat that lasted 3.5 hours soon after… except it was like we were right back at the beginning., the “Hi, nice to meet you” phase. Only towards the end did things loosen up, and we talked about things other than our careers as students in the same field. My question would be… how badly did I mess up? I feel like things are getting a little better… but I still get the sense that I’m a bit blackballed. Or at least have more work to do. My biggest fear is that I’ll come on “too strong” in trying to fix it and chase my little fish away. How can a dumb Leo woman fix this situation??
Hi again! Since i posted a while ago i guess i’ll update you now that i did go back and we are talking normally…and i can tell he’s trying to start more and more conversations and stuff im getting positive vibes from him, and sometimes it’s like he still likes me. I can’t make any kind of move on him now because he is taken. lately he has been smiling a lot at me. I don’t know if that means anything…so how do i know if he likes me? thanks so much!
SagGirl,
It sounds like you did all the analyzing already such as seeing if he was making you mad to get you to like him and all. Assuming that is true, then usually I would say the getting close and then ignoring you tactic is precaution not to put all your marbles in one basket for fear you will lose it all if it doesn’t work out.
Do I think he likes you? To a certain extent he must enjoy your company to even respond back to you. I suppose it is a little tricky to really test out since you did say that he is “taken.” The only semi safe way I think to determine his intentions I say is to evaluate the type of conversations he initiates with you. For example, if he takes initiative to talk about life values and philosophy usually that is a good indication that the person is trying to evaluate you for something more. This is as opposed to talking about like a funny clip you saw online.
That would be what I would look out for without crossing any lines due to the situation.
Cait,
From what I read I would say it’s not as bad as you think. If it was that bad he wouldn’t even talk to you period I would say. Even the fact that he took initiative to reconnect with you demonstrates that. Saying that he saw some links and thought of you though would say to me he is a little afraid to express himself emotionally to you at the moment for fear that you will not show the same in return. Basically, fear of rejection in a way as I would imagine before in his mind he saw great things with you and took it seriously and then out of nowhere from his end it’s like to you it didn’t mean the same.
So it would seem that he still sees potential but it’s up to you now to show by action that you do care that he means something more to you. An example is you mentioned that you two skyped. If you normally only did voice chat for example then suggesting that you wanted to video chat to be able to say watch a movie together can be an example of you showing initiative. Then afterwards you can tell if he is comfortable again as he will start to throw suggestions.
Thanks Alan
I’m glad you replied! I’ve been really enjoying the things you post on this site 
Hello Alan, I’ve been reading all your posts and I am quite impressed with the advice you give. Not only do you give great advice, but you also take the time to answer everyone. That is very kind of you. I have been dating this Pisces man for about 8-9 months, however, we have not had sex or anything like that because of his current situation. He is married, but very unhappy and unfulfilled. He gives me a lof of attention and really took the time to get to know me as a person. There is a 15 year age gap (me being younger) I filled a void in his life (emotionally) and we got very close. He was “obsessed” with me and put me on a pedestal. He gave me chocolate for Valentines Day and and e-card teddy bear hug and also took me out during the days several times. On my birthday he gave me money so I could buy myself something nice. Keep in mind that I always give him his space and never ask him personal questions as I am aware he is in a very delicate situation. I life my life and go out and have fun with my girls and he knows this. He is very attracted to me as he refers to me as “his dream woman” and that he should have been married to me. We are both extremely sexual to no end. We have such chemistry. He constantly tells me that he wants to do things the “right” way – as if we do things right, things will end up right – meaning he wants to take things slow and doesnt want me to be considered as a homewrecker – thats why we havent gone out at night – but during the day – we had 3 dates in one day! He said he wants to be with me but waiting for the right time. Thats how much we love spending time together. Lately things have slowed down quite a bit and he hasnt communicated anything to me. Our conversations have been based on purely sex. I got offended so I moved on and am considering giving me ex boyfriend another chance. I recently told Mr. Pisces about this and he told me I should not go back to him and that Im too good for my ex – and pisces and I havent spoken much since then. He hasnt communicated how he feels about this. I can’t fit our “story” on this post, so this is the gist of it. I have no idea what he feels and I wish I did. Could you please shed some light? Thank you Alan. If you need more info, please let me know.
further to above email, i do not chase him. I never did and never will. I am sure he doesnt know exactly how i feel. Maybe he senses a little bit, but because of his situation, i never felt that I could open up to him. I have to feel totally safe in order to do that. I show myself to be stronger than I think i am. I know i am strong, however, I have a very tough shell thats extremely tough to break. Because of this, people do not know where they really stand with me. However, I show a lot by my actions – i am super sweet and kind and helpful. No one can fully read me because of my shell. But I am a tough cookie. Thought this might help. Thanks Alan. I look forward to hearing what you have to say.
So I’m a Libra lady very much in amour with a Pisces man. We have had a rough start to say the least. We met at work, then he got fired by a board of 12 people, our last week at work was horrible, very teary and dramatic. On the last day a Friday, worst day of my life to date, he left and I got a text that went “don’t contact me again, you have problems I can’t help you with” I was like, WTF. The only problem we had he didn’t communicate.
I let 3 weeks pass, sent him a card to apologising if I made his last week at work harder than it should have been. No response.
He called into our office, I was relieving the front desk, I almost fell over because it’s been now 11 weeks with no contact, he couldn’t look at me at all.
Should I assume that I should let my heart heal and move on, or should I give this guy more time or is he done. I know I’m not. But I’m not going to beg to get his attention.
Any advise?
hey,
I have known this Piscean guy for a while now, and he just . . .confuses me. We started as friends, but I always feel like he wants more, being a very intuitive person. He has been showing a lot of attention to me, offer to help me even with the tiniest thing, smile A LOT whenever he sees me and during our conversation etc. I started to like him back too, because he is such a sweetheart. We were good friends for a while as no one confessed anything, so to break the ice, I confessed. Before I went on a business trip for 2 weeks, I wrote him a letter, saying that I have feelings for him, and told him it’s fine if he doesnt like me, we could continue to be friends. He wrote back to me, saying he’s looking forward to see me, but didnt mention anything about the whole me-liking-him thing. I was a little hurt, but when I got back, he shows me even more attention than before. He always worries that i’m mad at him, or tired, he freaked out when I saw him talked to another girl on a night that we are supposed to meet and send me a letter to explain things, and there seems to be even more adoration in the way he looks at me now, compare to before I confess. But whenever I try to spend time with him, he always seem so distant. He could run to me one night when I say let’s talk, but could be very distant and cold the next day. One time we were supposed to meet, but then he showed up with another girl, who I know for sure likes him. I felt that he was … scared of me misunderstanding this, so he remained quiet most of the time when I was there. But again, I feel like I cannot trust my inner instinct when it comes to him, as I like him now, so I have a reason to be biased. You know, when you like someone, you are likely to fool yourself in to thinking that they like you back, too. And i dont want to lead myself on. My instinct has been working great so far, but… I really dont know if i can trust it this time.
I’m so very confused right now whether he is doing this because he likes me and just too shy to make the first move, or because he is just trying to be nice and friendly to me because he thought he might hurt me for rejecting me. I dont know what I should do now, he is so hot and cold, and that confuses me a lot…I dont mind making the first move again, but i just dont know if he likes me, or just want to be friends…
Alan,
You were spot on. Thanks so much for the help. I put myself out there a little more (not something I’m keen to do thanks to Venus in Libra) and things turned around for the better. We are right back where we were and steadily rising.
Thanks again!
Hi Alan,
Just wanted to update that last week he started up with me again full force attraction. He’s saying that he’s getting turned on by me more and more everyday – and that one of these days, he wants to get physical. He also got offended yesterday because during our talks, I jokingly called him a loser in response for him saying something playful to me and he really got offended. He says at least now he knows what I really think of him. He was stuck on that for a little bit, but I quickly made him feel better and we put it behind us. His attraction is growing and he’s coming at me harder. What should I do? What is he thinking?
Cancergirl,
I guess my first reaction is just in a general sense as I know everyone is different and has different standards. But to me the guy is married you mentioned and at the same time is trying to get seriously emotionally involved with you as well. Would that be okay with you if it was a situation where you were his wife and he was then doing that with another women? Because odds are I say he would do that to you as well.
My personal opinion based on what you wrote is that he is keeping you as an option. Basically, if his marriage goes down the gutter for whatever reason then he can go to you. It’s kind of like a setup where it is played in a such a way where he wants you to be committed in terms of being there as his option in life without him having to in return. So don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from him for weeks as things could be going well for him with his wife and then when he feels like going to you everything will be like fireworks again.
What further leads me to believe this is how you mentioned he specifically told you to not go back to your ex as you are too good for him. In my mind, this is contradicting as if he thinks that you and him are right as a couple then shouldn’t he just instantly end it with his wife? As well, it should make you think as if he truly believes that you two are meant to be then wouldn’t he say something instead such as “No, I am your man…stay with me” type of thing?
If I was to really push it and for some reason I was in that situation where I had your best interest in mind, to be fair I would say if you feel that going to your ex is what you want then I won’t stop you as it is only fair that I shouldn’t hold you up in life if I am still in a relationship. Because I would say a person with my personality in those situations who are genuine would most likely approach it where they would leave it semi open ended and then hope you take initiative to go back to them. So in my opinion, him saying stuff like he wants to do things right, which by that I am guessing he means like divorce his current wife first, is just an excuse.
To me, it just sounds like he wants something from you and is just trying to play with your head to cover his true intentions.
Determinedmummy,
I don’t quite understand what exactly the disputes between you two were and why he all of a sudden would say that you have problems that he can’t help you with. It’s hard to analyze the situation because of that.
But generally speaking in a very broad way, if you were say continually nagging him and then he gave you that you have issues and don’t contact him response then I would say it is almost safe to say he has written you off in his life. Though the other way around is if you are saying that text came out of nowhere for no apparent reason then the text could be interpreted that he is just super frustrated in life and feels that you can’t help him with it. So that would be just more of an indirect way to say he needs help.
BraveAsh,
It sounds like he wants to be closer with you just based on what you wrote but doesn’t really know what to do or what is the “right” way to approach things. Your letter example partially gives me that impression since you said you confessed to him and that he wrote back but didn’t reciprocate on paper on what you hoped for in return. Funny thing is I would say many times if the person has no interest in you and is super shy they would just play dumb and pretend they never even got the letter.
I’m inclined to say like with the example of him bringing the girl it’s a situation of he didn’t want to be mean and reject her where at the same time he doesn’t really know what to do with you and what it all means. A blunt way in these scenarios to find out if he likes you in a close way is to find some kind of activity that requires you to be next to each other physically. By that I mean something as simple as a movie theatre where you have to be next to each other by default.
Something like a bench wouldn’t work because they have an option to be far apart and so they will most likely take that route if they like you but are shy. The movie theatre seat example helps to ease up the situation because they don’t have to feel stupid or self conscience in thinking of a way to win you over to be next to them, if that makes sense. From there you can gauge the basic body language and such.
Alan,
Thank you for your response… As for trying to be one on one with him, I have done that many times, and here’s what I got : We never went to the movie together, but whenever we are alone together, he would always sit so that we would face me directly, he smiles a lot, teases me a lot and would listen to every little detail I said ( I know this because he would bring up things I said long times ago). He seems to want to know more about the things I like, and would always offer to help even with the smallest thing. I could feel that he’s into me, but he has never said so, and that confuses me a lot. When we are together with his friends or mine, he is acting a lot different. When he’s alone with me, he talks less, and listens more, and sometimes his face turn red if I give him a compliment. The way he looks at me is so sweet, gentle and warm… But when he is around other people, he’s extra hilarious, talks more and seems more social. With me, he’s just . . . shy. We had 2-3 hours conversation before until midnight or even later… So, there are signals that I caught that lead me into thinking he likes me, but I might be reading too much into this while he’s just being nice and friendly to me.
And as for the situation now, I have decided to ask him one more time. One night, I had the chance to meet him, so I let him know i’m confused with the way he is treating me, and tell him that it’s ok if he doesn’t like me, we could be friends. I also told him that his actions let me on, and if he doesnt like me, he shouldn’t be doing this. I also asked how he feels about me, and whether he likes me or not, but he hasn’t responded to me yet ( he had to leave before I had the chance to ask that question in person, so I sent him an email that same night). I really tried everything I could with this guy, and although I really like him; if he still can’t give me an answer like this, I think it would be better for me to stop. Do you think I did the right thing ? I’m worried things might never be the same again, as I feel that he might distance himself from me now…
Best regards,
Ashley
Oh wow Alan, great insight and I am so thankful that you decided to write a response to help clarify things. You make sense and what you said has always been in the back of my mind. I would like to say that I gave you a very very short summary. All summer he was very concerned that he was taking me away from my life. He would mention that although he wants to be with me, he is waiting for the right time and he didnt feel right to keep me waiting. Oh beleive me, he has said those things. He doesnt want me to go back to my ex because of the way he treated me in the past. I told Mr. Pisces everything. However, my ex has been in therapy for the last year and is doing really well and we have been talking as friends, so a reconcilliation is very possible. Had it been any other guy, i dont think Mr. Pisces would tell me not to approach him. I see him saying that I should do what makes me happy. The thing about this man is that he is so very compassionate and sweet and our chemistry is off the wall. He says that our chemistry is like an electric, sensual energy between us. He is not a bad person. But now im starting to think that maybe he is selfish, but I am not seeing it because of our chemistry. He has never cheated on his wife prior to his emotional affair with me – we just gradually gravitated towards one another. Alan, I am impressed with the advice you give. You are truly gifted. Any girl would be lucky to have you, beleive me – you are emotionally intelligent. I love it!!!! Thanks again for taking the time to answer my questions. Does this info change anything in terms of him having my best interests at heart?
Also Alan, based on what you said about him wanting something from me but playing with my head to cover his true intentions, what things could he possibly want from me and is he doing this in a devious way? On purpose? I never ask him to leave and i am understanding of his situation – so i dont push it, nor do i disclose myself and my feelings for him. I keep that hidden. Just kind words is what i give him. Would you think he just wants to have sex with me when he feels the time is right and is comfortable enough mentally do take it to that level with me? Please help I would really like to get ur perspective on exactly what he may want from me.
Thanks!
Ashely,
Speaking for myself, in situations like that what would be going on through my head is a sort of “I know where this is going” type of thought. Essentially, I get the hint that you are trying to pursue things closer but I wouldn’t want to say it to you. I would say if his frame of mind is the same then it’s simply a matter of knowing if you are “the one” that the person seriously wants to commit to or take in a serious relationship way. That means a lot of analyzing in seeing how you react. Kind of like wanting to take pictures of a subject to get natural expressions and not something that is posed. In the end, it’s seeing how he fits into your life and how you would fit in his.
With that in mind too, I would say just outright asking how he feels about you in that way is very intimidating and can potentially scare him off depending on what stage he is at. I know it could for me for example. Reason being is from my point of view I wouldn’t feel safe anymore in being able to naturally judge your personality as it feels like you are forcing me to make a decision that I don’t even know the answer to myself yet.
It might sound annoying, but it’s one of those things where the best approach I say is to just enjoy the person’s company and allow them to see who you are in every scenario. Then hopefully one day he will see a major need/obstacle that you have in life where he can easily picture himself being the perfect guy for you and vice versa. It’s those moments where we want to be so certain that on the day like say a nice moonlight walk we will kiss you. Yes, very fairy tale like I guess you can say. But that goes back to like the example of the movie theatre scenario where they are forced next to you type of thing as if they are ready they will take the next step. Could even be as simple as they will hold your hand, touch your shoulders, etc.
As I usually say, if they are openly talking to you and asking questions to learn more about you then you are doing something right that they like.
Cancergirl,
For me, my initial thoughts still holds true. In terms of what he wants, of course I am not him so I can’t speak for him. But generally speaking it does sound like he is mainly looking for say physical intimacy or just the thrill you give him that he is getting involved with another women emotionally. He just can’t pursue it fully otherwise he will look bad.
It’s a little tricky as you mentioned that you are giving him a lot of leeway room to take his time and you are not pressuring him in any way. For example sake let’s pretend we know for a fact that it is simply sex he is after. You wouldn’t have to tell him your feelings directly for him to know if he has a chance to get you in bed, so to speak. Just you talking back and communicating with him is a motivator for him to keep going and trying to woo you for as long as he can.
Since you don’t want to imply to him that he should leave his wife first for example the only other decent way I feel to discover what he is after is to just be semi stone cold when it comes to any topics that revolve around an intimate relationship between you and himself. That is assuming of course you agree with the notion that one person shouldn’t be doing things like that with another person if they are currently attached to another.
Cause like with that, if it is sex he is after then a common scenario would be he will start to try and make more time to be around you or say shower you with more gifts as he is like trying to lure you in. Whereas if he is more genuine about a relationship then usually the other scenario would be he would actually talk about plans on what he is doing to actually make things official to be with you. Those are pretty general examples, but hopefully you understand the point in terms of the different approaches one would use to see what side of the fence they are on.
Hi Alan, you are a complete and utter tool. How fortunate for you that you feel you gave that lady all the necessary signals. I find your assumptions upon her supposed self-doubt etc thoroughly infuriating. Did it ever cross your mind that she might not have taken that final leap of sealing the deal because she wanted you to meet her half way rather than feeling that she had done all the work?? Call me old fashioned but would it ever cross your mind that as a female, perhaps she didn’t feel like it was her place to do the asking? Perhaps she didn’t want to ask you out because she didn’t want to insult your manhood or perhaps whilst she may or may not have low self-esteem (I’m assuming you aren’t a psychiatrist moonlighting in a computer shop) she wanted to go on a date with you knowing for sure that you wanted to be there!! I think she had a lucky escape on the basis that you obviously take a more observational rather than active role in life and you would have sent her off her rocker with your constant manipulating and analysing of situations. Or maybe she didn’t finally ask you out due to realising you were a tosser because she’s more intelligent than you give her credit for! It seems to me to be your loss anyway and hopefully while your posting crap about your non-existent love life on the net she’s tucked up in bed with someone who knows how to treat a lady. She sounds pretty sweet and if she had such difficulty asking you out then that may have served you well if you’d ended up in a relationship with her as you would have been more likely to trust her. Point for future reference: women like to feel wanted and dominated (to an extent) perhaps as you didn’t make her feel wanted by asking her out; she didn’t ask you out because she sensed you weren’t capable of wearing the trousers in the relationship like a real man. Amen to the expression ‘women are from Venus, men are from Mars.’
So then I went back up to the top to read other people’s comments.. Whilst I stand by what I said above in relation to your own situation.. I would also like to say thank you for the replies you have given to these women regarding their situations. You have put in a lot of time and effort into helping these people with their relationship (piscean) issues and you have given them sound advice. so once again.. thank you and keep up the good work.
Thank you Alan. I really appreciate your feedback. Since I feel the way you feel about the situation, I am going to distance myself. I feel this is best for everybody involved. God will bring me to my path and since their are so many roadblocks with this situation, then clearly it is not my path.
Again, many thanks for taking your time to respond to my inquiries. I cant tell you how much I appreciate it.
All the best and God Bless
Cancergirl
Hi,
You seem to have a natural psychological ability to help people out and I would love to ask you about a Pisces guy I’ve just recently met
We met online almost 6 months ago. We had an immediate great connection (as much of one you could have over the Internet ha)
but throughout our conversations there are times where he was trying to contact me once or twice on skype and I would be super busy and not get back to him for a month, month and a half. Didn’t seem to bother him to much. He then gave me his number once or twice and Facebook info. I never stored it because I didn’t think I knew that much about him and I’m just taking precautions. Eventually I answered him and toon his info and Facebook and checked it out which made me more interested in him. He is a tattoo/grafitti artist. Great at what he does. He invited me to a tattoo convention. I told him I’d try and make it. Never did make it over. Another time we talked he mentioned when are we going to hang out or when I’m going to let him tattoo me. Stuff like that. Totally seemed interested.
So we chatted through skype for a couple months we web cam chatted once or twice for not long like 10 mins. He was usually always making the initiative to message me. He’s sweet and funny and gives me compliments
So it finally happened like this… He posts on his Facebook that he needs someone to help him with a project that he will pay the person. I didn’t think much of it. 2 days later we are chatting and I ask him if he found someone to help him out. He says no so I told him I’d do it. Not for money though but for exchange for a tattoo. He thought that was a great idea. Since the tattoo was an expensive piece he told me he would cover all the other costs and that I just need to pay the shop, $80.
We agreed to meet up after he got out of work at 9 and get started. Once I met him in person I though he was super hot! Totally attracted to him. I felt like he felt the same but he played it so cool calm and collected it was great. Me being a Scorpio I did the same, played it cool that is. Really on the inside I was melting with admiration <3. So we start this art project together didn't take long except we couldn't finish until paint kinda dried up so we had a good amount of time to kill. He invites me in which I actually felt safe around him so I go into his house. We end up playing cod on his xbox and watching tv shows. Had a good relaxing fun time with him. He even pulled out his little George foreman grill and made me a awesome grilled cheese with turkey (he tried) lol too cute
. I ended up hanging with him until like 4am he didn't want me to leave. Btw after a while he had these romantic candles going and great lighting and music and such. Which was all the better reason I sat on the other couch the whole time haha anyways so I get up to leave and he tries to give me $80 I told him that we agreed on a tattoo not money. He insisted I take the money to pay the shop with. I thought that was nice of him. This was all on a monday. So I made a appt with him that Friday to start the tattoo….
Friday comes along and im driving to the tattoo shop and I'm subconsciously super nervous! Nervous enough to miss the exit and have to text him that I'm going to be late (ahhhh!) I get there and he's
waiting for me looking super cute. Glad he didn't mind I was late. So he gets started and there's others around working and talking and I'm all being shy not talking much. If I do say anything it's to him. He put music on the whole time. Not much talking. He tattooed me for 3 hrs! And I still have to come in for another session. I was hoping that he
would ask me to hang out after. I heard him talking to one of his co-workers about how he's going to go out for a drink after he's done. He didn't invite me. I was a little bummed cause I wanted to hang out with him but I'm patient so it's ok…. For now that is ha.
After that he didn't really follow up on trying to get together again or text me or Facebook me :/. It's been two weeks and I texted him a week ago. Took him like 4 days to answer me back. He apologized and said my text got lost in the art Basel madness (art Basel is a huge once a year art show in Miami). After that I took the initiative again (which was what he used to do) and texted him again talking about some art piece I was doing that he asked me about a while ago before we met. It was a ok conversation. He also did acknowledge some posts of mine on Facebook. But I feel he should be following up? Like a text here and there? I don't know in a week I have to reschedule an appt with him to finish my tattoo and I'm nervous. I don't know if it's him or if I should just be more patient. I already initiated a conversation twice I wouldn't feel right about trying again. I mean I thought about asking him if he wanted to hang again? Or should I just leave that to him?
Thanks for reading
After that he didn't really follow up on trying to text, Facebook, skype me like he usual did before. Don't get me wrong it's not like he was constantly messaging me but it's been over two weeks and I initiated text messages with him, telling him
Hi Alan, I’ve been talking to this Pisces man for about 2 months now. I really like him, for the simple fact of his easy going personality.. Now, mind you we’ve never met in person, and we’ve been having some very interesting conversations
… Now, he’s starting to become alot more open with his feelings about me. But I’m a bit baffled on how he words things like “you make me feel so happy. No ones ever made me feel as happy as you have” or now he’s saying “I’m falling for you” and “I’m definitely falling for you” what does this mean? Now I’m trying not to read too deep into it, but I’m really baffled?
Help lol… Please
There’s this pisces guy that goes to college with me (I am also a pisces) and he was in one of my classes. One day near the end of the quarter, he asked if me and him could study together. Most of the time he told me last minute, where I was in another town (an hour away) and we never got to study then. But finals came up and he asked again, so I said yes. He met up with me and we studied some, got distracted every now and again by talking about what we like and what not, but an hour or two later he asked if I wanted to go help him move into his new door room, b/c he had this fridge he wanted to move in. So I went with him in his truck. He asked if i could hold open the door for him so i did and we reached his room where he tided up. I also found out more about him and that we liked the same music and that he also liked to read. He made a joke about his couch he got from his friend but he sat down right in front of his desk. I sat down right next to him. He asked me if i liked it and i said i did but made a joke that it looked like a sea captain’s desk and he laughed. I opened one of the drawers and found some books of his. One was a gentlemen’s book I asked him about it and he said someone gave it to him and I decided to open it up and read. I made a few jokes every now and again, which he laughed at. (At this time we were still sitting together on the couch). Then his friends came bursting through the door and then it broke whatever mood we had. Later, we decided to go back to studying. Since the campus library closed, I offered to study at my apt. He agreed. He took me to my car (which he said he wanted to drive) and followed me back to my apt. We studied in a spare room and listen to indie music which i liked (and he did also) so we listened to his music. It was pretty calm between us (confortable even though we knew very little of each other). Sometimes when i would look at him (right in the eyes) he would match mine and it seemed like we understood each other even if we were the silent, but strong type. Then one time he laid down on the floor beside me, not to close but enough, and said i smelled really good or he thought it was me. It was me and i offered for him to smell my shirt because i had perfume from before and he agreed it was me. Later that night around two, we took a smoke break and i offered him a beer and he thanked me for it. But before he left, he did give me a hug. The following day, he mentioned he was hungry before class so i offered that we should go to lunch. We did (with another friend from our class) and i was the last to sit which he offered by scooting over so i could sit. But then, he left after ten minutes, but right before he took off he asked if i was gonna back home and i told him yes. He then asked me when i was going to come back and i told him sunday. He replied that he will see me then. Not sure what that meant, but he seems to be like me. Quiet yet outspoken. But he’s indecisive and i am not (well sometimes) but i know what i want. He’s very cute and mention his ex a couple of times then some girls he knew. It irritated me but i never said anything but positive things or nothing at all. Not sure what he meant by bringing them up either. But i thought our study date went pretty well, but other than that i don’t know what to do about him. I think he’s attractive, but i’m not sure he thinks the same about me. I’m actually pretty but not super skinny like his ex but build athletically. please help.
Ive met this Pisces man in October at a wedding. He was one of the groomsmen, snd i was a bridesmaid. We had an amazing time together and he asked to exchange numbers. He texted me the next day and we went out to eat to talk. We talked for a few days and he seemed to like me. But i heard from a friend that he wasnt interested in me because he likes a girl who is more hard to get. It hurted my feelings, and also made me confused cause he still tried talking to me and also asked me out on a date. He still seemed like he liked me, but in the back of my head, i can hear what my friend told me. I confronted him about how i felt, he denied it all and told me that im a great kind hearted person and that he really meant it. We stopped talking for 2 months until i finally texted him to just say happy birthday. 2 days later, he texted me asking to see me again , so i went ivrr to visit, and had a great conversation. We saw each other again a couple more times. And everything seemed fine, but now hes ignoring my texts. Whats that all about? Im confused if he even likes me or not…
Alan ,
I just wan know how to talk to this pisces Guy. I like him i wan atleast be friends with him…….
Prob is m bit shyish, and his two guy friends talk to me more when we are in class wenever i try talking to him…..
sometimes i wish we cud be alone, and even in such times i hav to speak…
but believe me i know he likes me.
HELP PLZ.
And i really liked your post
hey, alan i just started talk with this pices man who is 4 year older then me and it all started…
my Aries friend had taken responsibility for finding her best friend (pisces) a girlfriend so me and her were hanginng out and she texted him telling him a little bit about me and i didn’t know that she did this. We then thought about prank calling him (just for fun) and him being a smart pisces caught it that it was me. After that the weird thing he did is sent her a few pic of himself so she could show them to me even when he don’t even know me or seen me (we have never met). maybe he was joking around with her and acting to be sad but my friend started over reacting that we hurt his feeling by prank calling him and when i couldn’t take it anymore i called him from my phone to say sorry, we couldn’t call from her phone because it was her sisters phone, and this way he got my number and just so you know this all happen in one day. the next day he started texting me and flirting and i even told him that i don’t want a relationship right now and i told my friend to call him and talk with him and tell him to just be friends with me, i told her to do it because i didn’t want to hurt him. but she didn’t do that because she said that he would think i’m jealous. and she gets really quiet when i talk about the way he is flirting as if she is jealous i even asked him if he likes her and he kept say no we are buddies. i never text him first he does and he never texts more then once. once i was sad and i said i will talk to him later and then right after he texted say i like talking to you, what’s wrong, etc and i meant to say it nicely but when u text someone u don’t know they think it was mean but only you know that you where being nice so i said to him nothing is wrong so there is nothing to tell and all he said is ok and for a week he didn’t text back. then i started talking to him on april fools because that same friend wanted to fool him. he did reply and we talked again but then he started asking for my pic again and i said no try imagining how i look like and he said no i don’t want to forget it. i thought i should talk with him a clear things out, i texted saying “i have to talk to u i will call u” but i didn’t because my other friend (Scorpio)said that they both are using u and u should test to see if he calls u or texts u more then 3 times and he call once and texted once after that no text. and when we talk we talk for hours and he says really sweet things, is he using me to make my friend jealous? he had a gf who used him, is he hurt because of that? or does he not want to seem desperate? he also said that he saw a pic of me and i look like his ex but then said no he didn’t see a pic, what does that mean?? what should i do?? plzz help thank u
Hi Alan,
Its really wonderful of you to share Pisces male perspective with regards to BGR. I too am a taurus lady and seems that from the postings as above, pisces guys do drive taurus ladies nuts.
I met him when I dropped at his hair salon for the first time. The moment I walked in, his face froze and it was written all over his face that I’m the one for him. (btw, I”m married and older than him). There was a strong attraction between us but I never thought of crossing the line, just merely wanted to be friends.
During one of the visits, I asked whether is he attached. He said no until months later he confessed that he has a gf but no longer loves her. I didn’t suspect he liked me until he kept dropping hints and making references to me during the visits. We exchanged contacts and one day he confessed that he loves me and proposed to me twice to marry him if I ever divorce my husband. I told him let’s be friends and nothing else. He said he didn’t want to be my friend. Most of the time, it was me talking and he replying in the social networking site and sometimes he just ignores me, doesn’t reply me.
Months later, he changed a new gf but still hinted to me that he still likes me. Then one day, he deleted me from a social networking site. I supposed he wanted to forget me and concentrate in his new relationship.
4 months later, he checked out my social networking account and I started to talk to him. Again, me initiating the conversation and he replying. He confessed that he hasn’t forgotten about me all this while and he is single again. The very next day, I dropped by his hair salon for a hair cut as I haven’t had a hair cut for months. He was very happy to see me, dropped hints again and deliberately stroke my neck on the pretext of cutting my hair. (I have long hair). Then he didn’t reply to my messages again.
I’m really very puzzled by his behaviour but decided not to dwell too much into it and leave him alone. But I would like to hear from your perspective of why is he behaving like that.
Thanks Alan.
Hello Allan,
I’m guessing your a Pisces guy, right? Well, I’m having a little trouble with a friend of mine whom I really like. Do you think you could help me out? I have a lot of questions for you. Sorry for the bother.
Thanks.
Confused Aries
Hi there,
U got I treating posts and responses all the way from 2009 to 2011.
Ok so I’m sagi women and in love with a piscean man.
Been together since July 2011.
He is very romantic but at the same time very rude and goes crazy when he gets mad. I’m always calm and patient with him when he gets mad and support him which in turn makes him feel guilty for his behavior.
He has changed a few things about himself after I tried to in courage him to be a stronger person and focus more on the future .
He used to gamble and I used to do it too with him.
When he used to loose money in gambling I used to give him money to gamble. Have shed almost $6000 on him in gifts , gambling etc.
But he was willing to quit gambling and signed up an agreement with the casino and got his pic taken and banned himself from interring the casino to me that was a big sign that he is committed to me.
One time when we had a fight over a silly matter ( he likes to distance himself and meet me once a week typical piscean thing. And I want to be with him everyday or at least few times. Week)and I had mentioned to him in my txt message that I will not forgive u until u go down on ur knees and get me flowers. 2-3 days later he actually did it and surprised me.
I see him focusing more on life and his work now unlike before when we first met he had got himself out from a bad divorce from a marriage of 8 years. I’m divorced too after 8years of marriage.
It feels so right with this guy I feel like he is my soulmAte.
He cooks great food for me . Cuts my hair. Gives me music tapes to listen to, makes me feel jealous sometimes trying to flirt with other girls which I find very cute but at the same time I do get soo jealous.
We did have sex the first day we met does that make a difference what he feels about me even though he initiated and insisted on having it?
I know it’s a big no to have sex on the first meeting but on the other hand if ur soul mates and meeting after 30 years it had to happen
So since everything is going so well I Told him last week that if he looks at me as a life partner or just a friend.he does compAre me to his ex and says I reming him of her.I told him I want his baby and he downplays it and says I will not be a good father just to see my next reaction. At times I know he just acts the opposite of what I want him to say just to see my reaction and get extra attention from me.
Since then he hasn’t been talking much . But last night I insisted on having sex since it was missing for a week and he downplayed it and made me do most of the work but he was hard as rock .sex is always amazing with this guy .
He takes me to stip clubs does that mean he is comfortable to watch other girls in my presence cos im cool about it? or he takes me more like a friend than a potential wife material?
Now I’m planning to play it cool and not call him or msg him much which I usually always used to.
I need to see if he is serious about me will he every marry me or move away like most pisceans do.
And one more important thing that took place last week was after we had an argument I deleted all my pictures from his phone .
And today I saw he had deleted my picture from his phone too I was his wallpaper on his cellphone.
So I felt bad that I had deleted all my pictures and resent him all my pictures again.
So silly of me
Okay, I’ve been seeing a Pisces man for a few months now. We met a year ago at a youth center where I volunteer during the Summer and he coaches. He showed no sign of interest and being a Scorpio woman I’m good at hiding mine. I was very attracted to him but was unsure of his age because he looked very young. Well after the Summer was over we bumped into each other a local night club, so I knew then he was over 21; he asked me was I the same lady that volunteered and I told him yes. I then went on to say your’re the young man that coaches there and he responded by saying he wasn’t as young as I think he is. Well at that point I was intrigued and wanted to know more. But we went our seperate ways and that was that. Well months down the line I received a message on one of the popular social sites and I noticed it was him. He asked if I had remembered him and I was like how could I forget. We sent several messages back and forth, then he asked was it okay for him to have my number. After exchanging numbers he called and we talked awhile about several random things. I found out that he was 6 years younger than I, yet very mature and that he was a teacher. He asked if he could come by later in the week and I told him I didn’t see a problem with that. Well he came the next day and we set outside and had a great conversation but I could tell he was a bit nervous. We talked for few hours and then he had to leave so he could get ready for work. We continued to talk over the phone and he came back over the next week. This time it got pretty heated we talked a while and then came a heavy make out session. Before it went to far I explained to him we were moving a little fast he seemed okay with that so we cuddled all night and he left the next morning. Again we talked throughout the week but we didn’t see each other for two weeks. When we did things went from 0-60 rather quickly and it was GREAT!!! No complaints in that area at all. Well now this has been an ongoing thing every week now but I’m not sure if its just sexual or is he actually interested. I have a habit of not calling him or showing much interest so I had a feeling that he was wondering why because every call or hookup I’ve relied on him to initiate them. My feelings were confirmed when we went a week without speaking and like clock work he called on our hookup night and asked why I don’t contact him. So I nonchalantly made up some BS and said how I knew he was a busy man and wanted to give him his space ect.. Well truth is I was in an eleven year relationship/marriage and honestly not looking for a “boyfriend” but I really like him. Also he is younger and I feel from my own experience he needs to be free to explore all avenues. But my jealous nature has my mind running wild and I find myself wondering what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with. I can’t express this to him because I rarely share my feelings and I’m beginning to think he’s the same way. Anyway, he came over that night we talked until the early morning I sort of explained my reasoning on why I don’t call him and let him know it wasn’t that I didn’t feel anything for him. I let him know I’m not running around hooking up with random guys on Friday and that I’m only seeing him intimately. I explained I was married at one point and explained to him why it didn’t workout he looked surprised and ensured me that i would never have that problem with him. He seemed to understand and we preceded with our Friday night ritual but this time it was different. Its always passionate but this time to the 10th power. He held me and then he left the next morning because he said he had to be at work within the hour. For the entire day I was All Smiles
Now I know I’m in trouble cause I really like him but I’ll cut my own tongue out before I let it come out my mouth. I don’t know what to do because this wasn’t my plan I just wanted to have a little fun with no strings attached but now I’m growing strings. He is really laid back and I can’t tell if he wants to be a little more serious or not. Hell I don’t know what I want but I do know I don’t just want to be his Friday night fling. I still haven’t built myself up to calling him and I’m sure I won’t but its driving me crazy not knowing what his intentions are. So what do you think? Should I leave it be, run in another direction? Honestly what do I do? Is there any potential here? Help me!!!!
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Hey there! I would super like some advice! Lol
I have been seeing a Pisces since march at first it was a bit rocky because he was super shy but I was more open and made conversation. We have been on tons of dates probably once a week in the beginning. In the middle I started getting confused to what he was looking for until he told one of my friends that he liked me he just didn’t know how to express it because of his shyness. After that I got all googoo and had a hard time opening up to him, but at the same time the amount of times I see him in a week increased. We started seeing each other a lot more with it still being hard for me to be super open about things because neither is he. I still stayed poppy and we have had our little side conversations. We have cuddled and kissed a bit. He introduced. E to his sister. And I started being a tad bit more open. I told him a bit about my past and he vaguely told me something a bit about his. Convo is flowing a bit more these past few hang outs. But now recently the amount of hangouts has decreased again. He isn’t rejecting me or ignoring me, just spacing things out a lot like it was in the beginning. My only question is, am I ruining this? Is he pushing away? Or am I just being the over-thinker again? Blah :/ I kinda wanna ask him if he wants to take this any further but I don’t want to pressure him either.
Hi Alan, I Wanted to ask you about my pisces boy..
and started to smile and in a gig the boy i like had ,his bestfriend was watchin me and him and kept smiling(thats how i understood he knew what happenned) but I don;t know what to do.. we haven’t text each other for a week..this think has started for 2 months..I cannot text him always first..he can ask me how i am or make any excuses to text me.. I would really like to know what to do.. I want to know what is he thinking .Is he too shy?. so please help me if you can.. Thank you . Bye
The thing is I saw him very rearly and I liked him .. we always had eye contact.. after one night he spoke to me and started joking around.. anyway.. Couldn’t find him in facebook.. or other sites.. saw him very rearly and the city i live in it;s a very small city..he was so mysterious.. Anyway One night my best friend called him with a private number and spoke with him.. he said why you don’t give me your number I can call you sometimes when i’m free.. But i didnt wanted to give him my number so the next day i texted him.. He started To text me.. he knew that I like him and we spoke for 2 days all night,all day.. He said it’s very interesting and I don’t know why but I feel like I know you since the day I was born, after two days I told him who I was and he knew me.. I only descripted how i look and he knew wich girl I was.. and he started texting me like why you never spoked to me .. blla blla blla..
anyway he said he doesn’t have more money on his phone so we didn’t spoke for two days..
2 days later I texted him.. we talked all day again.. 3 days no texts.. and after 3 days i saw him with some of my friends and I said to him how should I talk you and started to smile.. he came and hugged me.. he kept making eye contacts and smiling to me..after he left he came and hugged me again..so the next day I wanted to invite him for a coffee and I texted him “Whats up” He said he was at university .. I said okay talk to you later.. after that he didn’t wrote me for two weeks maybe.. I only saw him 3-4 times.. once he started to ask me questions like where have I been… and he was talking very slowly(everytime we are together with our friends he never asks me questions and when we’re alone we can’t stop talking.. Everytime I text him he can’t wait to reply it..but he never texts me first.. but when I Text him he is very kindly.. never rejects any of my calls.. And for my birthday 3 days before my birthday I texted him and invited him for a beer.. he said that we will speak again, for my birthday he texted me in the morning wishing me a happy birthday.. (that was very nice) so i waited for him all day to tell me when he is free.. And he thought I would be at the bar(where I always stay) he went there cuz he thought i will be there waiting for him after he finishes his work with his band(he is a guitarist) It became 9 o clock so i texted him and said to him “where are you? He replied and said “I’m home .. learning, and what are you doing.. ME: I’m waiting for your call. HE: F*** I went to the bar and didnt see you so i thought you went home and didn’t wait for me. ME: I said tell me when you finnish your work.. And I asked you to go out not anyone else(he thought i’m going to be out with my friends) and I was very nervous .. he kept texting me and said sorry.. Anyway I texted him after 1 week.. and said sorry he said it’s okay blla blla..anyway we saw each other again and again but he didn’t make any move..I Thought he wasn’t interested, so one night he came and we talked like 20minutes.. he said some sweet words(me too) and also one night he only ignored me… but when we texted before he knew who i was we said that after i tell him who i am we will decide what to do but the thing is he’s not making a move.. he also said that he will teach me how to play guitar.. he promised.. but he only texts me when i text him.. when he sees me he gives me signs.. he never told to anybody what happenned between us (except his best friend) and since he told him he always rescpects me.. talks to me everytime he sees me.. once i was texting to a friend and he asked me aaa your textinnggg thats nicee
Hi Alan….not trying to be rude but How old are you? Why does it seem like you are playing games with the girl you mentioned in the post above. If you are a grown, adult man with interest in a grown adult woman then man up, stop tipping around dropping clues like she is supposed to be Inspector Gadget and just ask the chick out. That is so annoying. She is not a detective. I just don’t understand the game playing. Why in the world are you dropping clues for her to figure out if you have interest in her and like her. Here’s a novel idea…why don’t you just tell her. It’s like the little boy that pulls on the girls pigtail and runs off hoping that she figures out that he like her. And who has time for that anyway. What do you want her to ask you out? Man up and stop playing around if you are looking for someone with serious intentions. But now if you are just playing around, then just keep doing what you are doing because no serious woman is going to put up with that for long.
i have this story as well with a pisces guy, i met this guy he was the sweetest thing we fell in love so deep everything was perfect he was so honest he told me about his ex GF and that she broke up with him and got engaged and he is so over her and by time things suddenly changed he became kinda cold then i discovered that he was talking to his ex GF without even telling me he didt say anything about it he just said (ilove u both ) and we are trying to fix things i was shocked ! was so hurt took me so much to get over , i actually didt then after some time like 9 months he came back texting me that he miss me like out of sudden he said i was a jerk and things didt work out with her and he dont wana talk about her anymore (since im still in love with this guy) i kinda give him the green light and was trying to fix things between us then was asking him (are we friends or lovers or what he mentioned that ur my love ) i expressed my feelings toward him as well and that im so afraid of what im feeling since im so in love and so on now he is acting the on and off thing like one day he is amazing next day he disappears i kinda sens he is lying about stuff cause i cant trust him 100% and i actually dont get things and i feel hurt every time he disappears and not replaying back to any of my sms or phone calls (like he is gonna leave like before any time)
i dont know what to do im so in love with him at the same time i feel like he is not clear and he may do the same over and over any help ! do u think that this guy is in love with me ! i mean can some tell me whats going on over here
Hi Alan…
I have a question about my pisce friend/lover…I met him thru a a friend of mine which is his family member when I was 12, bn friends since..when I was 16 we almost had sex but I was scared my family moved away didnt c them yeaRs later came bk into contacts w them at 21 I am now 23… Since the beginning me and him have always flirted and as so as we met back up as adults we engaged in a sexual relationship..weve both bn hurt and was not ready for a serious relationship but in the beginning he seemed as if he cared about me ..like a friend would do but all of a sudden(and we’re over a year in) he doesnt call me anymore -he akways answers tho…and he makes me feel like all he wants from me is sex now..but then he does things like play fight with me and talks about what he wants in life when we r in person but then when I go home its like were strangers again
..one thingI forgot to mention we agreed to keep it a secret from my friend and his family member and the rest of our friends but later I found out he had bn discussing our relationship but not in a bad waY, but it still acts as if were still creeping…
I cant figure this guy out…he tells me hes glad to be with me like we r and when he sees me he always wants to hangout but then he doesnt act like most guys I kno who takes interest in a girl…i thought that becus we were friendd firstit would make things easier but its confusing me….I just want to hv my friend back
I am a scorpio female I recently met a pisces man and lets just say I was immediately attracted to him. However, both prior to and after our initial physical meeting I have been the one to contact him to initiate communication. Although he always responds I find it difficult to determine whether or not he is interested in me?
Alan,
I have a question :
I dated my Pisces man 4 years ago. At the time I was 18 & he was 21 it got very serious very fast like many relationships do when you’re young. I got married & moved away to Texas.. & we lost contact. I received a email from his sister on FB saying that her brother (the Pisces) asked if I would call him & gave me his number. So I called that evening.. as soon as he got on the phone it was word vomit.. he seriously did not stop talking for an hour. He told me that he’s missed me & that he never got over me. Basically, he let it be known that he would like to work on getting our relationship back on track. I’m an Aquarius & I’m not overly emotional so I didn’t have much to say back to him while he was spilling his guts to me. While we were in a relationship I felt very much in love & I’ve missed him over the years.. my question is.. if a Pisces man confesses his love is he normally genuine ? I do not want to be hurt but I also don’t want to put up unnecessary walls if he is being straight up with me.
kassandramorris@msn.com
Hi, I have a question I’d like to ask you: I like a pisces man-he’s my friend’s friend and we’ve never talked before and he’s never seen me
I like taking photos and when I found out he has the same hobby, I searched on the internet and found his work and because I thought he was really good at it, I sent him a message asking him where he learned it and we started chatting. I would like to ask him out-he’s really cute and seems very nice and smart…I’m just not sure if he would like to meet me and I’m afraid of embarassing myslef. The problem is that it’s always me who writes first and starts the conversation-then he’s very sweet and kind and sends long answers, even if he comes back from work late at night. How do I know he’s not just polite? I don’t want to bother him… I mean, we have fun and he even wrote that it’s fun to answer my questions, but I just don’t know…he’s in a different country for a few months and probably has a lot to do, but still…do you think he would reply if it bothered him? How do you think I could bring it to next level? 
Do you think it would be weird if I asked him if he’d like to have a coffee with me when he’s back? I really really like him! 
Thanks for your answers and sorry for my english, I’m trying to learn it well but it’s still not perfect :/ 
Hi
I’m 23 and work at a restaurant, and am a Gemini and have a good relationship with my 27 year old manager who is a Pisces. He’s really funny and a good calm guy which drew me to him. We worked together so I never really pushed anything romantically, but they announced our restaurant was closing last month so I started getting a little braver and talked/flirted with him more and starting talking to people about how I liked him. Some coworkers dropped hints to him that I thought he was cute, and everything seemed friendly and fun. I knew he couldn’t say anything because he was my manager, but 3 days before we closed I sent him a facebook message saying “You’re cute. I’m cute. Let’s meet for a drink the day after close, you choose the place.”. He didn’t respond, but at work the next couple of days we talked and shared some laughs and I felt like we were acting a little more cute towards each other. I also know he finds me physically attractive. The last day was yesterday and everyone was saying goodbye’s and he gave me a hug and smiled and that was kind of it. He hasn’t responded to the message or asked me out. He isn’t into me, right? :/ I think we could be great and get along well, should I keep pursing him?
Hi!
I really liked your advice but I still have doubts whether the Pisces guy I like, likes me back or not.
Well he’s 18 and I’m 16 and we know each other through my best friend, me being his out of school best friend where as the guy I like being his in school one and we’ve only met around 3 or 4 times but we talk online quite often, actually everyday. He knows I like him, and he’s even come down once and we made out but whenever I directly ask him about whether he’s really interested in me or not, he either avoids talking or just gives vague replies. He’s also very academic and likes to live with his books more than people but that doesn’t make him antisocial, he’s actually quite charming and attractive when you talk to him. But he hasn’t really told our best friend or anyone about us and I’m really not sure what to make out of his actions. Online he’s really nice and quite spontaneous with his replies, he also seems interested in stuff we talk but I still have no clue what to take from him because he avoids talking about “us”.. if you get what I mean.
I’d really like you to give me some advice as to whether he truly likes me or not. Thanks a lot